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 Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.

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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:40 pm

So I've been feeling a little cranky lately, under the weather but still working long hours, getting little sleep. Yesterday morning started out poorly. Foul weather prevented myusual head-clearing morning walk, and the coffee maker was acting up, delaying the injection of my life force. I finally got it brewing and stepped onto the front porch with a pipe while I waited. I gave some Black XX a charring light, looked up and was startled by a pipe smoking stranger standing beside me. Ok, he was actually on the porch next door, but in my neighborhood there's only about six feet between houses. We introduced ourselves; turns out he's dating the college girl next door. He had just started smoking a pipe, having inherited a few from his grandpa. He was also proud to show off his tobacco, (I forget what he called it) which could only be found at one one particular shop where his grampa had lived. He offered me a sample, and I ducked back inside to get a fresh pipe. I happened to have an unsmoked cob sitting there, so I thought I'd do him the honor of sampling his baccy in a ghost-free bowl. When he saw the cob, he scoffed at it.
"They still make those?" he laughed.
I opened my mouth to begin a kindly lecture on the overlooked merits of a good corncob pipe, but mind you I hadn't slept the night before, nor had I had my coffee yet. Instead, I just tucked the cob in his shirt pocket. He started to protest, but I cut him off, glaring at him.
"You take that pipe and smoke it or I'll shoot you in the neck with a spear gun I bought at the flea market."
He took the pipe and left, leaving me with a pinch of his tobacco.


Last edited by George Kaplan on Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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monbla256

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Age : 71
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:45 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
So I've been feeling a little cranky lately, under the weather but still working long hours, getting little sleep. Yesterday morning started out poorly. Foul weather prevented myusual head-clearing morning walk, and the coffee maker was acting up, delaying the injection of my life force. I finally got it brewing and stepped onto the front porch with a pipe while I waited. I gave some Black XX a charring light, looked up and was startled by a pipe smoking stranger standing beside me. Ok, he was actually on the porch next door, but in my neighborhood there's only about six feet between houses. We introduced ourselves; turns out he's dating the college girl next door. He had just started smoking a pipe, having inherited a few from his grandpa. He was also proud to show off his tobacco, (I forget what he called it) which could only be found at one one particular shop where his grampa had lived. He offered me a sample, and I ducked back inside to get a fresh pipe. I happened to have an unsmoked cob sitting there, so I thought I'd do him the honor of sampling his baccy in a ghost-free bowl. When he saw the cob, he scoffed at it.
"They still make those?" he laughed.
I opened my mouth to begin a kindly lecture on the overlooked merits of a good corncob pipe, but mind you I hadn't slept the night before, nor had I had my coffee yet. Instead, I just tucked the cob in his shirt pocket. He started to protest, but I cut him off, glaring at him.
"You take that pipe and smoke it or I'll shoot you in the neck with a spear gun I bought at the flea market."
He took the pipe and left, leaving me with a pinch of his tobacco.


"You take that pipe and smoke it or I'll shoot you in the neck with a spear gun I bought at the flea market." DAMN!! I don't wanna piss you off !!! 'Fraid I don't have any cobs, so can i smoke that Royal Yacht your'e sending me in one of my briars? Please affraid affraid

PS
I haven't smoked a cob in over 40 years now Wink Wink
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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 5:56 pm

[quote="monbla256"]
George Kaplan wrote:
DAMN!! I don't wanna piss you off !!! 'Fraid I don't have any cobs, so can i smoke that Royal Yacht your'e sending me in one of my briars? Please affraid affraid

lol! Smoke it however you like, sir. You're one of the good ones. I don't live in a very nice neighborhood, so I've cultivated a certain reputation that's served me well. On nights when the street gets rowdy, I've been known to stand on my front porch in a bathrobe with an ax over my shoulder and the butt of a revolver sticking out of my pocket. Folks give a wide berth to "the crazy white guy".
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TheSmokeamater

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Age : 51
Location : Freeport, New York
Registration date : 2012-05-26

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:03 pm

I would much rather be shot with a spear gun that is new from the box than one of those flemarket ones.

So how was the guy's tobacco? Have you tried it yet?


Last edited by TheSmokeamater on Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:05 pm

GK, I think we live in alternate universe neighborhoods. If we lived in the same neighborhood, they wouldn't need police. Laughing

Hope the neighbor kid enjoys his cob.

...or else...

Cool
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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:18 pm

'Mater, I'm pretty sure it's 1Q. Every tobacco shop in this country has at least one "exclusive" blend. 98% of those are 1Q.

Kyle, if we lived in the same town and I was still married, I don't think you and I would be allowed to hang out together unsupervised. I figure I did the kid two favors: I educated him about cobs, and gave him a good story to tell of how he came by his first one. Haven't seen him around today, though...
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:23 pm

Are the blinds closed tightly next door? You may have regaled him to grocery shopping at 4AM when he sees all of your lights out. Which would be even more fun as he sneaks out, and all he sees is the glowing ember of a pipe on your darkened porch. Laughing Twisted Evil

Yeah, I'm pretty sure there's laws written in advance disallowing us unsupervised outings.
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tiltjlp

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Age : 70
Location : Cheviot Ohio
Registration date : 2009-01-14

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:39 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
So I've been feeling a little cranky lately, under the weather but still working long hours, getting little sleep. Yesterday morning started out poorly. Foul weather prevented myusual head-clearing morning walk, and the coffee maker was acting up, delaying the injection of my life force. I finally got it brewing and stepped onto the front porch with a pipe while I waited. I gave some Black XX a charring light, looked up and was startled by a pipe smoking stranger standing beside me. Ok, he was actually on the porch next door, but in my neighborhood there's only about six feet between houses. We introduced ourselves; turns out he's dating the college girl next door. He had just started smoking a pipe, having inherited a few from his grandpa. He was also proud to show off his tobacco, (I forget what he called it) which could only be found at one one particular shop where his grampa had lived. He offered me a sample, and I ducked back inside to get a fresh pipe. I happened to have an unsmoked cob sitting there, so I thought I'd do him the honor of sampling his baccy in a ghost-free bowl. When he saw the cob, he scoffed at it.
"They still make those?" he laughed.
I opened my mouth to begin a kindly lecture on the overlooked merits of a good corncob pipe, but mind you I hadn't slept the night before, nor had I had my coffee yet. Instead, I just tucked the cob in his shirt pocket. He started to protest, but I cut him off, glaring at him.
"You take that pipe and smoke it or I'll shoot you in the neck with a spear gun I bought at the flea market."
He took the pipe and left, leaving me with a pinch of his tobacco.


You sir, are definately the newest member of The Corncob Snob Society!
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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:50 pm

tiltjlp wrote:
You sir, are definately the newest member of The Corncob Snob Society!

cheers Hooray for elitism! Does membership come with a complimentary baggie of Storm Front? (I kid)
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:53 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
(I kid)

The hell you are kidding. Laughing

Cool
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monbla256

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Age : 71
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 6:55 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
tiltjlp wrote:
You sir, are definately the newest member of The Corncob Snob Society!

cheers Hooray for elitism! Does membership come with a complimentary baggie of Storm Front? (I kid)

Probably not but I'm sure they will send you one of those autographed copies of the famous photo of Gen. McCarthur and his cob suitable for framing! I think they are the digitaly enhanced "living color" ones as well Twisted Evil
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:23 pm

I'm still waiting for pics of the College Girl next door... Cool
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:33 pm

Rob_In_MO wrote:
I'm still waiting for pics of the College Girl next door... Cool

"Haaaaaay!"



That'll teach ya to keep askin' for pictures of gals, ya perv. Razz

Cool
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:36 pm

Somebody do something about him, would ya? Shocked
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:39 pm

Rob_In_MO wrote:
Somebody do something about him, would ya? Shocked

You can't ask for favors and then complain, sir. That's just rude. Laughing Razz

Cool
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George Kaplan

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Age : 47
Location : Kalamazoo, MI
Registration date : 2012-01-07

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:43 pm

Want me shoot him with a spear gun?
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 7:44 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
Want me shoot him with a spear gun?

...or shoot her... harpoooon!

That's really rude. Fast track to hell for me--among many reasons.

Cool
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i.keenum

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Age : 27
Location : coast of mississippi
Registration date : 2011-06-12

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Sun Jun 03, 2012 8:00 pm

big girls need love too cheers
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tiltjlp

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Age : 70
Location : Cheviot Ohio
Registration date : 2009-01-14

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:24 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
tiltjlp wrote:
You sir, are definately the newest member of The Corncob Snob Society!

cheers Hooray for elitism! Does membership come with a complimentary baggie of S torm Front? (I kid)


No, sorry, but you can add the CCSS banner to your signature if you want.
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dshpipes

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Age : 33
Location : Durham, NC
Registration date : 2011-03-06

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:05 pm

i.keenum wrote:
big girls need love too cheers

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DustyRoundup

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Age : 52
Location : S.W. Montana
Registration date : 2011-11-03

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:30 pm



Hey Kyle, can ya get that gals number for me? Wink
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Mozjo33

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Age : 49
Location : Chantilly, Va
Registration date : 2011-12-04

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:31 pm

[quote="Kyle Weiss

[/quote]

Wow...wow...and wow!
Don't know what else to say...
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DustyRoundup

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Age : 52
Location : S.W. Montana
Registration date : 2011-11-03

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Mon Jun 04, 2012 5:32 pm



Hey tilt. I smoke a cob every day of the week,,, I'd be proud to post that banner on my signature if you would allow.??
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AJ

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Age : 69
Location : East of the Rocky Mountains
Registration date : 2012-03-18

PostSubject: A Man Of Noble Character   Mon Jun 04, 2012 6:27 pm

Sometime back I PM'd George and told him that from my observations and following
his posts that I had determined him to be of a more noble character than some others.
Not that the other members were not all fine fellows but to me George stands out a little from
the rest. George's response, to the young maggot from next door who should have been licking
George's shoes in gratitude for attempting to further his pipe smoking education, only solidifies my previous
judgement. Any action that involved the use of the spear gun would have been justified. Wink Laughing

The posted picture of the Girl Next Door" cannot be George's neighbor. Admittedly George states that
he lives in a rough neighborhood. He said nothing of living in a pig sty and when I saw the picture I'm
sure I heard an "oink". Laughing

Save your flames. I know I'm an insensitive clod who only has compassion for the beautiful people
of this world, a group that I've never been able to gain acceptance. Go figure.


,
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tiltjlp

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Age : 70
Location : Cheviot Ohio
Registration date : 2009-01-14

PostSubject: Re: Sharing the cob love, by any means necessary.   Tue Jun 05, 2012 6:26 am

DustyRoundup wrote:


Hey tilt. I smoke a cob every day of the week,,, I'd be proud to post that banner on my signature if you would allow.??


Of course. Anyone who enjoys their cobs on a regula basis is automatically a member of the CCSS, and don't really need my approval or pronouncement.
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