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 And so ends my criminal mail order career...

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Greyson

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Age : 36
Location : England
Registration date : 2012-08-03

PostSubject: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 6:12 am

I had a (nother) unpleasant experience with my local post office last time I went to mail something out. I always seem to go when there is this wiry old hatchet faced woman serving, and she has the sense of humour of a particularly unfunny rock. I try to be nice, but its evidently pointless.

So, I put my parcel on the scale to get the shipping cost, and she glowered at me and demanded to know what was in it, and furthermore: was it DANGEROUS?? I'd already filled out the customs label which she could see, so I thought it was a bit of a redundant question, and read out the customs label to her verbatim which stated it was a broken pipe going to the states for a repair, sort of challenging her to continue down this line of questioning. She clammed up and processed the parcel. As I was about to leave she jabbed a pamphlet at me and said in cold tones "You need to read this. It's very serious. We wouldn't want you to get in... trouble." I read down the front page and burst out laughing, it was a page of images of what you are now 'not allowed' to send in the post, many of them were illegal. The one that made me laugh was a big marijuana leaf. So I asked her if it was still ok to send heroin and cocaine. "ABSOLUTELY NOT!" she shot back with vitriol and not a trace of humour.

Anyway, I thought you guys might be interested:




I'm just off to pack my next parcel, its a lovely shipment of ebola, C4, an M4 and ammo wrapped in human remains. Oh and a baggie of acid.
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BigCasino

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Age : 49
Location : North of Pittsburgh pa
Registration date : 2012-11-27

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:00 am

thats pretty funny, wonder what she thought you were sending?
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Dave_In_Philly

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Age : 36
Location : Philly
Registration date : 2011-08-18

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:30 am

BigCasino wrote:
thats pretty funny, wonder what she thought you were sending?

My guess is his response to the teller was truthful:

http://www.brothersofbriar.com/t21749-it-shouldnt-happen-to-a-tinsky
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 9:42 am

Andy - if we don't hear from you for a while at least we'll all know what happened to you. Laughing



Greyson wrote:
Oh and a baggie of acid.
What kind if acid? Acetic acid (found in vinegar)? Carbonic acid? Hydrofluoric acid? Formic acid? Hydrochloric acid? Sulfuric acid, or maybe D-Lysergic Acid Diethylamide 25? Razz



lol!
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Greyson

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Age : 36
Location : England
Registration date : 2012-08-03

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:49 am

Also what kind of idiot would answer the question 'is it dangerous' with a yes? Oh hell yes, its genocidal, I'm glad to get it away from myself in all honesty. Wait, why are you calling the police? Muppet.

BigCasino wrote:
thats pretty funny, wonder what she thought you were sending?

She's seen me post a lot of parcels marked with tobacco samples, I do think she thinks I'm some kind of small-time marijuana smuggler. I imagine they'd look similar if they were examined by xray.

Rob_In_MO wrote:
What kind if acid? Acetic acid (found in vinegar)? Carbonic acid? Hydrofluoric acid? Formic acid? Hydrochloric acid? Sulfuric acid, or maybe D-Lysergic Acid Diethylamide 25? Razz

I'm pretty sure anything approaching lemon juice would land me in trouble.
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 10:56 am

Greyson wrote:
She's seen me post a lot of parcels marked with tobacco samples, I do think she thinks I'm some kind of small-time marijuana smuggler. I imagine they'd look similar if they were examined by xray.

Next time throw in a few incense cones just to mess with her.
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petertschantz

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Age : 51
Location : Clover, SC
Registration date : 2010-08-12

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:17 am

how about acetylsalicylic acid?
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Slide



Age : 55
Location : Benton, Louisiana
Registration date : 2011-11-23

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:26 am

I would go up there when they were busy, wait my turn in line and waste a bit of her time. Not so much as to really piss off the people behind me but enough to mess with her a little.
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:33 am

I can see the headline now - 'Alleged International Drug Smuggler Arrested for Harassing UK Postal Worker!' Laughing




lol!
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Rob_In_MO

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Age : 44
Location : Park Hills, MO
Registration date : 2011-01-19

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:33 am

petertschantz wrote:
how about acetylsalicylic acid?

Oh yeah, forgot about that one. Thanks, Pete! Laughing
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petertschantz

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Age : 51
Location : Clover, SC
Registration date : 2010-08-12

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:35 am

trying to pull my weight!

Cool
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Growley

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Age : 42
Location : Fairhope, Al
Registration date : 2012-04-10

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:40 am

That's funny. I know they're required to ask all the questions, but I get weary of it.

I want to make a T-Shirt that says, "NO, it doesn't contain anything fragile, liquid, perishable, or potentially hazardous." That way I can just point to the shirt. Very Happy
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huffelpuff

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Age : 47
Location : Laramie, WY
Registration date : 2011-12-10

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 11:45 am

Ha! Similar experience with the postal service here back when I worked in a forensics lab.

"What's in the package?"
"Um remains"
"Is it dangerous?"
"Only if you open it!"

Never again man never again! And yes it really was a package of human remains which was legal to be shipped at the time. 4 1/2 hours later I returned to work where my boss just totally lost it laughing!

Jim
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Fri Feb 08, 2013 2:44 pm

Heh. Sounds like she had to rise twice and pray thrice after you puckered her up like that. Laughing What a sour old sack. Laughing Glad to hear post workers are apparently made in a factory someplace and exported worldwide.
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soylentgreen

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Age : 46
Location : Florida, USA
Registration date : 2012-03-06

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Sat Feb 09, 2013 10:42 am

You probably shouldn't wear your pimp outfit when you go to the post office Very Happy
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kaiser83

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Age : 34
Location : Wherever the smoke clears
Registration date : 2012-02-22

PostSubject: Re: And so ends my criminal mail order career...   Sat Feb 09, 2013 1:17 pm

Oh the things I am going to be mailing your direction now, Adam&Ev-.co- here I come. If she refers to it as the _____ not your _____ she will be my new favorite person.
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