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 Ouch, my ass hurts.

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Puff Daddy
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PostSubject: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:03 pm

Or, why don't they just charge an extra $10 bucks and put a real frikkin seat on it?

I'm almost 50. Officially coming on Old F***er status. I've been doing the whole weight lifting/gym rat thing for a few years and though it's helped me drop a lot of weight and generally remain healthy, I keep getting hurt. I started out hurt, actually, so it wasn't a real big surprise, but after a major hernia repair and subsequent reinjuries, my doc finally told me to find something else to do or risk irreversible issues.

I don't have to stop lifting, I just have to stop lifting heavy. Major exertion, deadlifting more than my body weight, constant grunting and straining. Doc suggested going the route of the cycling athlete, a good bit of riding, some moderate but not daily lifting. Sounded good, but bikes are expensive, so I've put it off. But then a friend of my wife comes along with an offer for a free secondhand bike that her husband no longer needs as he bought himself a nice new one. OK, cool. Why not. It's an inexpensive mountain bike, but it's in really good condition. Made my first ride today, maybe 8 or 10 miles on a paved bike trail along the river.

Started out well, was a lot of fun. The weather was really nice, the trees are flowering, felt really good to be out riding. But, at about the 4 mile mark, the seat started talking to me.

"Ya know, I really don't like you, fat ass. You're having too much fun and I think it's time to inflict a little agony".

Suspect

Man, this thing is really starting to hurt. I better get off, take a rest, and have a look. Maybe there's an adjustment.

Looking under the seat I found no adjustment, but I did find a signature from the maker of the seat. Marquis de Sade.

The problem with riding five miles from home on a bike with a seat made by the Marquis de Sade is that you have to ride back, after the seat has lured you several miles from home under false pretenses. At one point I considered throwing the bike into a ravine and hitch hiking back. When I finally did make it back, I think I had an entirely new injury for my doctor to fret over, and I doubted there was a medical cure for it. That last couple of miles was pretty embarassing, with lots of stopping to scream, loud groans that flushed wildlife out of the woods, and a constant grimace that, at one point, prompted a young mother pushing one of those jogger/stroller things to do an about face and bolt away from me at a much faster pace than I was making on the bike from hell.

I inspected the seat thoroughly once I got home. Seems someone assumed that a .01 mm thick piece of vinyl stretched over a steel frame qualifies as Seat. Though I still do try to hold onto a little dignity, I will give in and immediately purchase one of those big wide heavily padded grampa seats and sport it about without reservation. That is, once I can manage to walk into the sporting goods store without looking like I just recently fell on a sword. May be a few days.

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:25 pm

Except for the old, ca. 1950 Huffys & Schwinns, bicycles were designed by sadists. Twisted Evil

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MisterE
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:26 pm

I have felt your pain. I think it's mostly that your ass has to get used to bicycle seats again. Last summer I did a hellacious ride up in Tucson and I ended up with the same sore butt thing. No

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Harlock999

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Wed Mar 13, 2013 10:27 pm

I used to cycle religiously, and those sleek little racing seats are a pain, at first.
I mostly did a lot of uphill riding though, so I did spend a good amount of time out of the saddle. Of course my 18 year old body was able to quickly recover from a lot of major spills that would've put my now 44 year old frame in traction...
I keep telling myself to dust off the old DeRosa, replace the Mavic rims, and see If I can pass some of those kids on their fixed gear track bikes.
Or maybe just smoke a pipe and keep thinking about it... Rolling Eyes
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bosun1

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Wed Mar 13, 2013 11:27 pm

Stop by a bicycle shop and get another seat? Why suffer for style (g). It's like watching a woman walk with a pointy pair of stillettos. I think that's gotta hurt, but I would still watch if she had a comfortable pair of shoes on (G)..
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somedumbjerk

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:32 am

lots of things going on here:
1.) you need bike shorts. wear baggy shorts over it if you must, but that pad makes a huge difference.
2.) you don't want a big ol' seat with a bunch of gel in it. it actually reduces bloodflow to your manhood and will cause ED and other terrible things. google "saddle bloodflow testing" and check it out
3.) start slow, take breaks. try and not get yourself a saddlesore, those are a pain to heal, and will make you not want to ride your bike. you aren't trying to build callouses. you're trying to remind your soft tissues that it's okay to feel contact.

go to a nice bike shop (one that sells high end, and has a fitter) and talk about saddle/short combos. spend a little money on it and it will make all the difference. i've been riding bikes for a good long time and i'm not a fit racer athlete by any means! i've worked in bike shops for a while and now i work for a bicycle company, one that does extensive medical and scientific research on comfort and safety while riding. the owner of the company rides at least 20 miles a day and a loop that's over 100 miles with gnarly climbing on about every weekend, and he's in his sixties i think. maybe late fifties at the youngest.

enjoy your bike! they are great machines, probably the best (after the pipe) that man has created. transportation, fitness, racing, and hell. wheelies. Very Happy

please feel free to ask any questions, i think there are a few other cyclists on this board.

you could also probably find a shop that has a satisfaction exchange policy on the saddles.
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loneredtree

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:58 am

+1 [somedumbjerk]

Bicycling is a great conditioning mode if you enjoy it. A good bike shop will be able to measure your sit bones and get the correct size of "narrow "seat. You should be able to try out a loner to see if it works for you.

I am almost 71 and ride 20 to 40 mile rides twice a week in the summer. It is something I enjoy and have been for 40 years.

Good luck PD
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Mozjo33

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 6:39 am

Just bought a bike last fall. Best investment the wife and I have made. Don't worry PD - you butt will get used to it. I echo SDJ's comments. Don't wast the money on the seat. Get a good pair of shorts. "Luckily" I have enough natural padding to I can go without bike shorts. Another tip I recieved is that if you buy the super tight shorts to wear under regular shorts, go commando affraid . The reasoning is that your cotton briefs/boxers hold water in addition to the shorts.
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Puff Daddy
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:39 am

Well, the saddle sore (if that's what it is) is already here. Got up this morning and sat down on a wooden chair in the kitchen. Let's just say I won't be riding anything for a couple of days Mad . I understand what you're saying about a good seat, I just hate to buy a seat that's worth more than the bike. So, I was thinking of getting a mid sized reasonably padded seat with cutaway ( http://www.amazon.com/Bell-1005344-Mountain-Bicycle-Seat/dp/B001E1G7Z6 ) and then find a pair of padded cycle shorts. I think I'll have to get the shorts no matter what I ride.

This bike is a stop gap until I can get something I want, and it'll give me some riding time so I'll know better what kind of bike to get. Do I still really want the Specialized Secteur after a couple months of riding? Will I want a 29'er instead because I like trails better, or maybe one of those upright comfortable all arounders a lot of the old guys roll around on? We'll see. For now I just want to be able to ride a few miles without pain on the cheap bike I have (it's just a chinese made box store bike) before I give it away to the next victim.

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 8:50 am

Go to the bike place where they know what they're doing and ask them for an old fart seat.

They'll know what you need. lol!

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Dave_In_Philly

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:05 am

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George Kaplan

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 11:01 am

Most bikes in this country go un-ridden by adults because they don't fit, and the owners don't realize they don't fit. Take it into a real bike shop, and have them see what they can do for you. Be prepared for some bad news. Bikes are not "one size fits all". You may have one that's simply beyond adjusting for you, But they'll be able to get it as close as possible. Also, Walmart is not a bike shop. Real bike shops are about the only retail institution left in this country where you can expect the staff to know what they're doing.
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:28 pm

Puff Daddy wrote:
Well, the saddle sore (if that's what it is) is already here. Got up this morning and sat down on a wooden chair in the kitchen. Let's just say I won't be riding anything for a couple of days Mad . I understand what you're saying about a good seat, I just hate to buy a seat that's worth more than the bike. So, I was thinking of getting a mid sized reasonably padded seat with cutaway ( http://www.amazon.com/Bell-1005344-Mountain-Bicycle-Seat/dp/B001E1G7Z6 ) and then find a pair of padded cycle shorts. I think I'll have to get the shorts no matter what I ride.

This bike is a stop gap until I can get something I want, and it'll give me some riding time so I'll know better what kind of bike to get. Do I still really want the Specialized Secteur after a couple months of riding? Will I want a 29'er instead because I like trails better, or maybe one of those upright comfortable all arounders a lot of the old guys roll around on? We'll see. For now I just want to be able to ride a few miles without pain on the cheap bike I have (it's just a chinese made box store bike) before I give it away to the next victim.

let me look around and see if i have an extra seat with a real cutaway in it. those cheap seats don't actually do any research and just hack away material, and in most cases they do more harm than good. especially the ones with gel. if i have one with some decent padding i'll send it to you. only if you promise to buy shorts though! oh and buy a sectuer as you get in to the sport. i put a few thousand miles on mine in a year. even did a 100 mile charity ride on it! i loved that bike! 29ers are also really really fun. when i moved to california everyone thought i was a dork because i only rode 29er hardtails. now its sort of a standard practice. road riding is great because you can do it from your house. mountain biking takes a lot of planning. generally you need to drive to the trails, and have a bunch of gear to put on, but man is it fun! especially when you get confident and do the drop offs and berms and whatnot.
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 12:30 pm

George Kaplan wrote:
Most bikes in this country go un-ridden by adults because they don't fit, and the owners don't realize they don't fit. Take it into a real bike shop, and have them see what they can do for you. Be prepared for some bad news. Bikes are not "one size fits all". You may have one that's simply beyond adjusting for you, But they'll be able to get it as close as possible. Also, Walmart is not a bike shop. Real bike shops are about the only retail institution left in this country where you can expect the staff to know what they're doing.

i love you for this. you nailed it. sounds like he wants to get a nice bike down the road. might as well make the contact points happy. especially since you can transfer them to your next whip!
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George Kaplan

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 1:03 pm

somedumbjerk wrote:


i love you for this. you nailed it. sounds like he wants to get a nice bike down the road. might as well make the contact points happy. especially since you can transfer them to your next whip!

Well, Mr. Jerk, you hit all the relevant points before I could get to them. It's important to remember that the biomechanics of riding a bike is more like walking than sitting. Something big between your legs just gets in the way. I hate to see people buy cheap Chinese bikes that are too small for them, adjust them so they're comfy to sit on, put a seat on them that belongs on a tractor, put a big gel cushion on the seat, and then ride off in blue jeans and wonder where all the skin on their crotch went.
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Kyle Weiss

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 2:39 pm

Too complicated.

When I don't drive, I walk. It's easier to avoid all things on wheels, which seem to be in a panicked competition with one another. Plus, it's really hard to stop and smell the flowers on a bike. Unless they're on a low branch over the street, face-level in springtime and you're looking over your shoulder to avoid a minivan.

Yeah, walking. Bikes were invented by sadists...I agree. Laughing
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Kashmir

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:40 pm

I've always been a walker. It's free, don't need a gym full of sweaty cohorts, eases the mind and gets the old ticker going. Every other day, why I'll haul my butt to the high school 0.5 mile track, and I'll do 12 laps. Start out slow, bring it up to speed, then slow down for the last couple of laps. Been doing this for 15 yrs. now. Figure I've walked around the planet by now. I'll listen to radio, music, audio books, or just focus on my breath, like in pipe smoking. You get into a gait, and just crank out the miles. At 52 I weigh what I did in college. Blood work off the charts. I take Centrum, fish oil, vitamin C and St. Joseph 80mg aspirin daily. Oh, and I smoke 5 to 8 bowls a day. Best medicine. Walk to live.
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Kyle Weiss

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 3:54 pm

Bikes have always hurt my back. I have a pretty screwed up back, from years loading trucks by hand and...well, bad genetics. "Get a recumbent bike!" Still hurts my back. Sitting hurts. Since walking isn't sitting, it doesn't hurt. I like to be active, so it's either Aikido if I want to get bruised and thrown a lot, or I walk. I fear family histories of knee problems, so running isn't on my list. Laughing My feet are remarkable compared to my other bodily inadequacies so...might as well use 'em. Probably from years of wearing leather-soled boots and waffle-stompers for so long...toughens those dogs from day one. Razz
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Kashmir

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:05 pm

Plus Homo sapiens were designed to walk. Ever since we came down from the trees some five million years ago. Ever since it was realized those who stand can see carnivore predators further. And thus the upright position was selected for. Running damages the human body, especially the knees. Especially on concrete. When you run the point of impact is the front of the foot, which can not absorb the energy and hence its transferred to the knees. The point of impact whilst walking is the heel of the foot. More padding, better cushioning. Less impact on the knees. Fast walking is where it's at. I walk a 12 minute mile, or 5 mph. Try it. It'll transform your life and add another 10 yrs. to your allotted time on this planet. Plus its also a major psychological benefit as well.
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Kyle Weiss

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:12 pm

Hrm... I suppose that's debatable...there's those guys in Africa, bushmen of some flavor, that run across the desert/savannah barefoot for 30, 40 miles at a time, and they probably worry more about getting eaten by lions and tsetse flies. Laughing I wouldn't expect some burly Russian to try the same thing, as they were better at storing fat and dragging animal carcasses. Just a guess. Genetics probably play a role.

All I know is, if it hurts, and I can't toughen it better, I stop doing it. One way or the other, we're dynamic beings, mentally and physically, and it's better to end stagnation of any kind, any way one can. It boggles me there's perfectly able people that do little more than move from their bed, to their fridge, to their couch, and back again for so many years. Hurts me just thinking about it. Laughing
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Kashmir

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:32 pm

All I know is that I hate Doctors. Hehe. And walking keeps me out of their offices.
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:32 pm

pretty sure people get hurt running because of shoes. our feet are natural leaf springs (hence the arch). that's why cycling shoes are very stiff and should have high arches so your foot doesn't collapse and spring back, causeing knee tracking issues, loss of power, a bunch of bad stuff. i like to run. i shouldn't. i have issues with my legs being different lengths and one foot canted out due to tibular torsion (or some such jargon) and i'm "seasonably plump" but i like it. still like riding a bike more. i walk a fair bit. i live in a town that is very walkable and i walk my dog about a mile or so every night with the fiance (weather permitting).

that being said for exercise i'd rather be riding my bike. especially off road, especially with a group of friends.
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Kyle Weiss

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 4:54 pm

I walk/hike for work, most of the time. It's a different locomotion and stamina that ought to be kept up, so, another minus on the pedal-power for me. Living an urban lifestyle in the outback ain't easy, but the opposite is a bit more achievable. "Bike To Work Day" would be a little difficult for me to accomplish. Laughing
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Puff Daddy
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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Thu Mar 14, 2013 9:23 pm

SDJ, yep, already been to the bike store, already drooled over the bikes and been bending the ear of a couple sales guys there. I actually had it in my head that I'd get the Allez Compact (voted 2012 best bike under $1000) but then I was shown how the Secteur rides higher in front (less attack, more comfortable), has the carbon zerts in the rear, and is engineered to absorb more shock than the stiffer racing frame on the Allez, I think it's the bike to get if I can swing it this summer (translation, will I work enough overtime to afford it). The guy at the bike shop already gave me a couple free rental coupons so I can try before I buy.

Fact remains though, I'll have to make do with this for a while. I am grateful for it, without it I'd be walking like Kyle Laughing . I just hope to make it comfortable enough to enjoy for a while.

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PostSubject: Re: Ouch, my ass hurts.   Fri Mar 15, 2013 8:04 am

Bicycling is great but expensive. It's easy to spend a great deal of money. Bicycles are a relatively uncomplicated machine and can be understood from the ground up. If you study them you will understand why certain frames and components are better/best. The top grades are the lightest and the best performers.

I'm not hearing anyone talk about optimal frame size and seat tensility, for lack of a better word, and sizing the frame/selecting the seat to maximize pedaling thrust. To put it succinctly, most run-of-the mill bicycles are too small. There is a simple formula that determines the needed frame size. The URL below has a good discussion.

http://www.bicyclesource.com/frame_size

The output of the pumping action of the legs is maximized by the correct size frame. High thigh pumping wastes a lot of energy, as does a padded saddle. Think of each cycle of a leg as wasting the least amount of energy, which is lost by an incorrect frame size or soft saddle. You want all possible energy directed into turning the axle. I was able to ride 35 miles in a day without making it impossible to sit down with the austere Brooks Professional. It's not pleasant but you can train your posterior to sit in the saddle. Of course if you find that training harsh without improvement, then you'll have to make your own adjustments.

Toe clips are also essential. You want to push the pedals down and pull them up. The correct angle of the foot throughout one revolution is described by the term "ankling."

I thought this would be easy to say, but it is not.

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