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 No DIY pipes

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mejoshee

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Age : 33
Location : Campbell, CA
Registration date : 2013-05-31

PostSubject: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:20 pm

Kinda bummed. I got "bit", or, "incepted" really with the idea that briar is woodworking that I could get behind. I could enjoy working with my hands at a craft that requires skill, it would allow me to make whatever I wanted to smoke, etc. Whatever the reasons are for people doing it (besides making it a career), I bought into these values.

Unfortunately, I shared the enthusiasm and optimism with my wife, who is generally either ambivalent or encouraging about me trying most things, but she outright said no. No

I don't really know what to make of it, but I guess as this is considered a "vice" to most people and a health hazard to many (including my wife, who is a nurse), there's really nothing more I can do. It's odd, because she'll allow me to buy pipes (occasionally) and smoke (as infrequently as possible), but not make them (or sell them?). scratch

I guess this is just one more thing in the pile of crafts and hobbies that will never get off the ground for me. No At least I didn't invest in a workshop or anything major like that. I guess I was just hoping for a shoulder to cry on Sad 
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Briar Spirit

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Age : 49
Location : England UK
Registration date : 2012-08-30

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:35 pm

Aaaah man, that just blows, to make it worse you can fund a great workshop and really give it a proper go, I feel for ya Bro'.

How about keeping your eye out for one of those Meerschaum pipe carving kits, they don't require a workshop what so ever and you can easily make a reasonable pipe just using a pocket knife. Maybe when you good lady sees the joy it brings you to create a pipe of your own she might be a little more giving in your desire to make pipes.


Last edited by Kirk Fitzgerald on Tue Aug 20, 2013 5:47 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Draagha

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Age : 27
Location : Merritt Island, FL
Registration date : 2013-07-02

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:38 pm

I feel your pain, as I just do not have the money to smoke AND have some DIY done beyond modding MMs and restaining my pipes.

Maybe one day I'll get a block just for fun.

I don't do shoulder crying, but can I offer you a hanky? lol! 
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mejoshee

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Age : 33
Location : Campbell, CA
Registration date : 2013-05-31

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 6:56 pm

Yeah, it's not really about the money. We're not loaded, but we are far from starving. Certainly a good thing.

But I have my mind set on a thing now and there's just that itch... I really don't want to even get started because I think that'd make it worse. Not to mention I don't think I'd even be allowed? scratch
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Draagha

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Age : 27
Location : Merritt Island, FL
Registration date : 2013-07-02

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:16 pm

I think you should give a meershaum a try. Even if it's not wood, there's no health related issues with it(that I'm aware of) for the missus to be upset about.

At least it'd get part of that itch out! I don't have the correct tools either, but I like to widdle tampers with my pocket knife when I find a nice piece of wood and that usually helps my itch.
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mejoshee

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Age : 33
Location : Campbell, CA
Registration date : 2013-05-31

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 7:28 pm

Draagha wrote:
I think you should give a meershaum a try. Even if it's not wood, there's no health related issues with it(that I'm aware of) for the missus to be upset about.

At least it'd get part of that itch out! I don't have the correct tools either, but I like to widdle tampers with my pocket knife when I find a nice piece of wood and that usually helps my itch.
Well the physical health issues are not in the carving, etc. It's the smoking. Which goes without saying.

But we do it anyway. Which of course in my mind begs the question, "why not also make pipes?" Because it is certainly healthier than the smoking itself, except of course it does imply that someone else will be smoking it...

Anyway, without waxing philosophical or psychological, let's just say that the best thing for me would be not to try it at all unless I knew there were no consequences ever. Time has shown this not to be true among other hobbies I've picked up. Usually it's money, but who knows...
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Draagha

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Age : 27
Location : Merritt Island, FL
Registration date : 2013-07-02

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Mon Aug 19, 2013 8:04 pm

I'm with you on the "if you can't go all out, don't go at all" philosophy when it comes to hobbies. If I can't do it all, its not enough, usually.

It's not worth the frustration.
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PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 8:16 am

Relationships are interesting in their diversity.
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 2:33 pm

In an 11+ year relationship myself, some of the key factors in harmony are communication, reasonable acceptance of proclivities on both sides, and not standing in the way of personal joys due to conflicting opinions.

I start hearing words like "allow/not allow" and "lets me/doesn't let me" and I can't help but scratch.  It was made clear, 11+ years ago, that I'm a reasonable, honest, monogamous, loyal and decent human being, and treating me to the contrary will be met with a stern finger pointing at the door.   I will not be mistrusted, chained or parented.  

It's called "trust" in my house.  

Back to the subject, pipe carving is not expensive.  Sure, if you count lathes, a garage full of tools and all the trimmings, but like most crafts, that's something acquired as needed, not as a "have-to."   You can get by with a pre-drilled Tinksy kit, drill with some buffing wheels, a few bits, some sandpaper, hand carving tools and a small, sturdy bench.   A Dremel is also handy.  If I can carve three pipes sitting cross-legged on my apartment floor, anyone can give it a try.  

Cool
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Hawker

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Age : 52
Location : Alberta
Registration date : 2012-05-15

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:02 pm

I second Kyle's point of view. Be responable, follow your heart. A kit, file & sandpaper won't break the bank and when she see's what your able to accomplish down the road when funds are available it will be that much easier for her to accept and realize you can't take away another persons passion for anything they really want to do in life. You have to be true to yourself before you can be true to others.
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Fr_Tom

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Location : Diocese of Northern Indiana
Registration date : 2013-05-29

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:10 pm

I have been married since 1982 to a remarkably patient woman. She usually works on the philosophy that there are worse things I could be doing. Just as one example I rebuilt a motor in the dining room once. This kept me around the house, and in the end was not as much of a problem as you might expect. It gave her conversation stopping example when gals at work started the "can you believe my husband" contest. I can only really remember one time she threw a red flag. She was expecting our second and had a bad dream. She asked me to stop riding (and sell) a specific motorcyle I had at the time.

I asked if I could ride it to the dealer to put it on consignment or if I should trailer it there.

It looked like a non-negotiable to me. I had another motorcyle, so this did not put a stop to the riding. It was just this bike that was a problem. Maybe I earned some relationship points for taking this gracefully. We have never discussed it, but every now and then you take one for the team. I try not to dwell on things I can't change.



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Richard Hester
Author of "My Love My Pipe"
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Age : 51
Location : missouri
Registration date : 2009-08-12

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 4:51 pm

mejoshee wrote:
Kinda bummed. I got "bit", or, "incepted" really with the idea that briar is woodworking that I could get behind. I could enjoy working with my hands at a craft that requires skill, it would allow me to make whatever I wanted to smoke, etc. Whatever the reasons are for people doing it (besides making it a career), I bought into these values.

Unfortunately, I shared the enthusiasm and optimism with my wife, who is generally either ambivalent or encouraging about me trying most things, but she outright said no. No

I don't really know what to make of it, but I guess as this is considered a "vice" to most people and a health hazard to many (including my wife, who is a nurse), there's really nothing more I can do. It's odd, because she'll allow me to buy pipes (occasionally) and smoke (as infrequently as possible), but not make them (or sell them?). scratch

I guess this is just one more thing in the pile of crafts and hobbies that will never get off the ground for me. No At least I didn't invest in a workshop or anything major like that. I guess I was just hoping for a shoulder to cry on Sad 
Not busting your balls but you used some hard words here which I dont understand she wont let you make pipes and she allows you to smoke are we talking about your mother or your wife? I will get busted out for this but here it is anyway you are a grown man the head of your house if this is the case then act like it and be the head, since when do men have to ask permission? well sir thats just my two cents I am now ready for all the hate mail.
Best Regards
Richard
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Brewdude
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Age : 65
Location : Arid-zona
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Tue Aug 20, 2013 9:26 pm

Richard Hester wrote:
mejoshee wrote:
Kinda bummed. I got "bit", or, "incepted" really with the idea that briar is woodworking that I could get behind. I could enjoy working with my hands at a craft that requires skill, it would allow me to make whatever I wanted to smoke, etc. Whatever the reasons are for people doing it (besides making it a career), I bought into these values.

Unfortunately, I shared the enthusiasm and optimism with my wife, who is generally either ambivalent or encouraging about me trying most things, but she outright said no. No

I don't really know what to make of it, but I guess as this is considered a "vice" to most people and a health hazard to many (including my wife, who is a nurse), there's really nothing more I can do. It's odd, because she'll allow me to buy pipes (occasionally) and smoke (as infrequently as possible), but not make them (or sell them?). scratch

I guess this is just one more thing in the pile of crafts and hobbies that will never get off the ground for me. No At least I didn't invest in a workshop or anything major like that. I guess I was just hoping for a shoulder to cry on Sad 
Not busting your balls but you used some hard words here which I dont understand she wont let you make pipes and she allows you to smoke are we talking about your mother or your wife? I will get busted out for this but here it is anyway you are a grown man the head of your house if this is the case then act like it and be the head, since when do men have to ask permission? well sir thats just my two cents I am now ready for all the hate mail.
Best Regards
Richard
This x 1000!


Cheers,

RR

_________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin


x 2x 6  
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Wed Aug 21, 2013 2:17 pm

Fear no hate mail, Richard. Tell it like it is.

I think all of us have at least been tested at one time or another with such "control" being put on us as men, especially in a society pressed so hard to make men pathetic, helpless, stupid and child-like. It might be happening around me, but not in my house. A good woman, wife, girlfriend, or better half of any other name ought to be supportive at all times. If you have to cry like a child in her bosom and have one of those moments a man can have in private when he has been broken, the strength should be given back to him by his woman, just as he should do for her. Women are indeed strong, in entirely different ways. When they use this unique strength for nefarious reasons, it's just as bad when a man does it. Ideally, a relationship is a learned camaraderie, not a constant power struggle.

Some guys avoid this potential strife by being single. More power to 'em. Some find a good one and stick around each other for life--they figure it out. That's fine, too.

Being kept constantly in a cage, mental or physical, is good for no living thing.

I know it's off-subject, but I think guys need to reaffirm life in little chats like this every so often.

Cool
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Ocelot55

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Location : Columbus, OH
Registration date : 2012-03-28

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Wed Aug 21, 2013 4:24 pm

Good for you Richard. Call it like it is.

What men want from women is to be respected. They want respect even more than they want love. A wife that dictates what the husband is and is not allowed to do has no respect for him.

Marriage is about compromise.

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PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Wed Aug 21, 2013 5:30 pm

Different strokes for different folks.

Happiness is not diagrammed.
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:10 pm

"My wife doesn't let me do what I want; I couldn't be happier."

scratch

Diagrammed, no, but...?

Also, "compromise" is a word with two real-world applications. One is warring parties that make concessions of that which will never be agreed upon. "Compromise" is further refined as the understanding of that which is misunderstood, and rather than a neutral treaty, becomes a supported effort. Suddenly there aren't two sides: just a new one for both parties. A quick-fix of separate but equal versus an attempt at grand unification.

🤷

Cool
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PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Thu Aug 22, 2013 3:32 pm

Relationships are complex; satisfaction is very individual.

This is a good group but we don't have any true relationship.  Knowing someone electronically is very partial.  

Is someone happy or not...we only guess.  I've had great friends tell me they were quits and leave me flummoxed. I knew other that seem uncompromisingly different from what I might consider the ideal that weathered it all.

I do know that I haven't the knowledge or ability to tell anybody the perfect way to go about most things.   Being a libertarian, I like that.  

It isn't hard to drive wedges.  It is much harder to try understanding.  On my good days I pull off a little of the latter.  On the lesser ones...well...

Mejoshee  seems a nice man with intelligence.  I think we'd enjoy a drink together. That's the most I can guess at.  Having done that, all I can do is hope the best and hope to hear from him again.
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mejoshee

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Age : 33
Location : Campbell, CA
Registration date : 2013-05-31

PostSubject: Re: No DIY pipes   Thu Aug 22, 2013 4:47 pm

I've been quietly observing the past few days. I will say, neither did I realize I was opening a can of worms nor did I ever intend this to turn into a marital counseling session. Razz Granted I probably didn't use the choicest words to appropriately describe my situation (thereby inciting said uprising), nonetheless I was not intending to file a complaint against my wife, her desires, her level of influence on my behalf, etc. I'd already considered both sides of the story and posted here almost as a debrief.

While I respectfully disagree with some (won't say who), I do genuinely appreciate everyone's desire to speak a spectrum of manly advice into my life. We are still working things through, but I'm confident the result will not lead to utter catastrophe and disappointment for either party.

You are all great and I wish you the best in your own respective relationships! Now, back to piping... Cool 
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