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 Help with a name

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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Help with a name   Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:32 pm

I usually don't do stuff like this (ask for opinions about personal stuff) its not that I don't care about other peoples opinions its just, I don't know, maybe for me personal stuff is just that, personal. well I have put on my big boy shoes and as quietly as possible grabbed the door knob, opened the door and tentatively stepped out of my comfort zone.

my wife and I are having a kid, its a girl. I have always loved music and I incorporate it into my everyday life. my wife and I have chosen the name Joplin for our child, after Janis Joplin . with that being said my grandmother is freaking out about it and brought up the point that we are naming our child after an addict and alcoholic. I know that being an addict does not mean your a bad person but I also understand that not everyone feels this way about addicts. I would be naming her in honor of the soulful singer who rocked a generation.

I guess my concern is that I don't want my child to looked at as being named after an addict even though she would also be named after a person of great soul. I usually don't care about what other people think but I guess having a child is changing me.

I need some help. what do you guys think about the name in general and about the situation.

I haven't told my grandmother that the other name we chose was Freyja. maybe I wont mention that one to her.

feel free to voice how you really feel, I wont get upset or offended.
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monbla256

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Age : 71
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:46 pm

Try Janis instead of Joplin. I can understand your appreciation and admiration for her as I share it having seen her sing several times back in the '60s. Your grandmother will like a "girls" name better and you still will be able to feel you've honored her memory ! JMHO  Twisted Evil Twisted Evil 
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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:48 pm

we have thought of that but we are not big fans of the name Janis, but we just might have to compromise.
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monbla256

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Age : 71
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Mon Aug 18, 2014 8:55 pm

smg913 wrote:
we have thought of that but we are not big fans of the name Janis, but we just might have to compromise.

Aahhhh ! THAT word!! You'll find that life is truly made up of COMPROMISE more than we may like !!  Twisted Evil Twisted Evil Twisted Evil And Janis spelled this way is a lot more unique   Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Mon Aug 18, 2014 10:58 pm

I wanted to name our daughter Corina after the song Corina Corina but, I had to compromise
with the other half at the time so we named her Karina, she didn't want anyone calling her Cory.
Kary's better?
Anyway, I told her when she grew up just in case she wished to change it.
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DrumsAndBeer

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Age : 45
Location : Northern, CA
Registration date : 2012-04-04

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 12:54 am

First, congratulations, smg.

To offer some perspective, I have a dear friend that named his son Hendrix. At first people were all "uh oh," especially folks they know who grew up in that generation. But you know, eventually he's grown into his name and he's become "Hendy " and now he's just another cool little kid. I have two girls ages 6 & 9, and I think the most important thing for children is loving, caring, and responsible parents. Parents who are around and spend quality time with their family. This matters most and more than the name a child is given. Also always remember that all eyes are on you Dad. Trust me, you will at some point become the primary roll model in her life. The fact that you guys are concerned about this, tells me that you'll make
good parents and roll models.  Very Happy
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Fr_Tom

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Location : Diocese of Northern Indiana
Registration date : 2013-05-29

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 6:20 am

Congrats!

My counsel would be not to run names by too many people. You can get feedback that poisons the well. We discovered this early. Who knew that Aunt Louise always thought Uncle Bill was jerk and treated women poorly, etc.? When people demanded to be told, we would say we had a number of names in mind. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was high on the list, but we were still looking for the right one.

Aniother issue to bear in mind is that if the child does not like the name, he/she will just start going by some new one. My 15 yo is doing that now. It gives her something to talk to the therapist about.


Last edited by Fr_Tom on Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:19 am; edited 1 time in total
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swhipple

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Age : 48
Location : North Carolina
Registration date : 2013-05-02

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:40 am

In general I'd say stay away from the whole naming your child after someone thing. In my mind that makes your child's name more about you and less about them. Especially when the name will directly evoke a specific person such as Joplin. This practice is better for naming pets than it is for humans.

Having said that, it's your choice go with what you think is best, ignore naysayers like granny and me.
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:51 am

1. Congrats!

2. If you and your wife agree, why are other opinions relevant?
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Dave_In_Philly

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Age : 36
Location : Philly
Registration date : 2011-08-18

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:12 am

Every person has his/her flaws. If you want to name your child after someone, its for the positive aspects of that person, not the flaws. In truth you cannot give your child and advantage, or disadvantage with a name. Choose a name that you like and leave it at that. Other people may voice their opinion, but they have no right to do so.

Janis Joplin was a remarkable person, despite her faults. If that is the name you choose, don't let anyway sway you.
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Richard Burley

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Location : North Coast NY
Registration date : 2011-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 10:36 am

Given names mean Dick.
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monbla256

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Age : 71
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 11:08 am

Richard Burley wrote:
Given names mean Dick.

And Jane  Twisted Evil Twisted Evil 
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jefe1037

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Age : 35
Location : West Chicagoland
Registration date : 2012-02-07

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:22 pm

Something easy to spell is my bit of advice, but if not easy then the "normal spelling" (Jackson not Jaxon). if you name her Jayne, then her name won't be "Jayne," it will be "Jayne with a Y" or "Jayne J-A-Y-N-E" every time she tells her name to someone. My wife contends with me on this one, but I am convinced it is a deep seeded distaste for her own name, which is very common.

Take Fr. Tom's advice as well. Everyone knows someone with a name you pick, and they always voice their opinion before thinking about it: "I knew a Trish in high school that was a skank" was my favorite, insert whatever name it was for Trish.

I named my older daughter when she was 4 days old. My wife was CONVINCED she wanted to name her one thing the ENTIRE pregnancy, then we met her and decided it wasn't the right name for her. She has been my Kensie ever since.

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Dutch

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Age : 52
Location : On the road.......
Registration date : 2010-11-06

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 5:48 pm

I wouldn't worry about what other people will think of the name, I would just be asking myself what will your daughter think of it? Will she think you are the coolest parents in the world for picking out "Joplin," or will she think it is a corny name, and in turn use a nickname, initials, etc?

I just wouldn't want my kid to hit 13 and look at me one day and say, "What the hell were you thinkin?"

Having said that, I think Joplin is a cool name, but if I were 13, I would think it was a sick name, but that would be the same thing essentially.

Then also, you have to ask yourself, will Joplin be cooler or sicker or whatever 20 years from now, or will it suck?

My guess is that 15 years from now, "that sucks" will still mean the same thing it does now, but everything else is probably gonna be up for grabs. Especially considering that you will be dealing with a teenager.

This is definitely a question to ponder that would keep me up at night, because I think a persons name can have an impact on self esteem to a degree. I think I would continue to talk with my wife until you are both sure your daughter will approve.
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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 7:14 pm

thanks everyone for your feed back. I love the name and want to use it. I just don't want my daughter to effected negatively because of a name . I guess I might just be over thinking the whole thing too. I haven't had a really good chance yet to talk to the wifeys yet about it. hopefully I will have tomorrow night off and will be able to.
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Bub

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Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:05 pm

If you go back far enough no one will know where her name came from
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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:38 pm

hahahah that is a good point bub!!!
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MichaelM

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Age : 51
Location : Souderton, PA
Registration date : 2014-02-13

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Tue Aug 19, 2014 9:51 pm

I've always been a fan of standard names, and a few years ago I would have said no way. I would have given reasons like college and job applications etc. But the truth is I've seen so many unusual names in the past few years that they no longer stand out. And honestly, how many people that your girl will deal with in her life will even get the reference? I think it has a nice ring to it, and is a strong name for a girl. As said above, if you and your wife agree, no one else matters.
Of course, a middle name could be choosen to keep grandma happy.
Congratulations, and best wishes for your family,
Mike.
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APKurt

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Age : 47
Location : La Quinta, CA
Registration date : 2014-02-17

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Wed Aug 20, 2014 4:06 am

Congrats!

The Freakonomics guys addressed the question of whether a child's name has any significant impact on their lives and the answer appears to be "no". They point out that the name people give their children says more about parents sending (at least subconsciously) a societal message about who they are as people. e.g. a conservative person might call their daughter "Reagan" whereas a liberal might call their daughter "Kennedy" Some parents want people to think they are creative so they give their kids names with unique spellings...that sort of thing.

That being said, I personally think the last thing you should worry about is what your grandmother thinks. She had her opportunity to raise her kids. This is your turn to raise your kids. As a new parent you will be getting tons of advice from all sorts of people: family members, friends, even strangers on the internet  Wink  You are the one who is going to have to be satisfied with the job you are doing as a parent so make your own choices and enjoy the adventure Very Happy 
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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Thu Aug 21, 2014 8:10 pm

Thanks everyone for the helpful input and all of the congratulations. my wife and I have decided on Joplin Mae.
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Old Nate
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Age : 34
Location : Western PA
Registration date : 2014-08-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Thu Aug 28, 2014 7:05 pm

I really like Mae. Has a beautiful classic ring to it. Don't like Joplin but she's not my daughter and I'm not the one raising her. My wife is due next month and I can understand where you're coming from... Everyone has an opinion on names!
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gravel

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Age : 43
Location : Oregon
Registration date : 2011-12-07

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Sat Aug 30, 2014 1:46 pm

Fr_Tom wrote:
Congrats!

My counsel would be not to run names by too many people. You can get feedback that poisons the well. We discovered this early. Who knew that Aunt Louise always thought Uncle Bill was jerk and treated women poorly, etc.? When people demanded to be told, we would say we had a number of names in mind. Boutros Boutros-Ghali was high on the list, but we were still looking for the right one.

Aniother issue to bear in mind is that if the child does not like the name, he/she will just start going by some new one. My 15 yo is doing that now. It gives her something to talk to the therapist about.

My wife and I chose to keep the names of our daughters private to avoid poisoning the well. Once the child is born no one with an ounce of consideration will criticize the name, they will only see the child and the name takes on a new meaning and a new beginning.

The bigger reason we kept the name private was ritual. We liked the idea of only stating the name in public after telling our daughters first. "Welcome to our family ______. We've waited a long time to meet you."
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Wet Dottle

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Location : Littleton, CO
Registration date : 2008-02-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:26 pm

Well... I wouldn't ask this bunch any sort of advice about names. Just look at their user names! I mean, "Wet Dottle:" what kind of a looser would pick such a handle for a pipe smoking forum???
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Old Nate
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Age : 34
Location : Western PA
Registration date : 2014-08-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:36 pm

^^^ too true ^^^
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smg913

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Age : 30
Location : New Jersey
Registration date : 2013-01-27

PostSubject: Re: Help with a name   Sat Aug 30, 2014 6:50 pm

wetdottle wrote:
Sat Aug 30, 2014 5:26 pm    



Well... I wouldn't ask this bunch any sort of advice about names. Just look at their user names! I mean, "Wet Dottle:" what kind of a looser would pick such a handle for a pipe smoking forum???


hahahahahaha

well I never thought of that
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