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 Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…

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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:26 pm

I think there has to be a compromise, somewhere.  There HAS to be.  That's what marriages are (or ought to be, IMHO) founded on.  What that means in your case specifically, I can't say.  I won't say the answer is a nice simple, tidy one.  I just shudder at the general suggestion that all of the change and accommodation comes on your end.  Less of me, more of us?  Yes, absolutely.  But I don't think one person (either person) should have to make all of the concessions.

Easier said than done I understand.  Just my $.02.
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:35 pm

Simple Man wrote:

I just would prefer to take advice from someone who has shown how it is done successfully, whether that is in marriage or a myriad of other things.


I'm probably stepping into a minefield I have no business being in, buuuuuut:

Failure can be just as educational as success. One needn't succeed at a thing to take valuable experience from it; on the other hand, succeeding at a thing doesn't guarantee an understanding of WHY you succeeded.

As I see it, experience can be valuable or worthless, irrespective of the end result. It's all relative.

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Simple Man

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Age : 56
Location : Atlanta-ish
Registration date : 2011-10-24

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 5:38 pm

idbowman wrote:
Simple Man wrote:

I just would prefer to take advice from someone who has shown how it is done successfully, whether that is in marriage or a myriad of other things.


I'm probably stepping into a minefield I have no business being in, buuuuuut:

Failure can be just as educational as success.  One needn't succeed at a thing to take valuable experience from it; on the other hand, succeeding at a thing doesn't guarantee an understanding of WHY you succeeded.

As I see it, experience can be valuable or worthless, irrespective of the end result.  It's all relative.


Nah, I'm out of it. If you had seen the "unedited version" of this conversation it would be easier to understand. Looking at the way it reads now, heck, I think I look like the bad guy.

From now on, I will be sure to quote the whole post before it gets changed. But, I'm cool. Whatever. Laughing

ADDED: Look at the first part of Balkan Boy's response...
balkan_boy wrote:
Wow, this topic is going towards Alpha Male and "Pater Familias" discussion. And while it get's hotter, I'd like to elaborate my previous post.
there was a good reason he responded like this, but that part of the thread is no longer there.
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Psmith

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Location : Sokcho, South Korea
Registration date : 2013-04-21

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 6:13 pm

Hey Bentbulldog,

I think I can pipe in here because it sounds like you and I are married to the same woman. We live in Korea which means unless you are living in the countryside, you are urban living. We live in an apartment that is reasonably large by Korean standards but would be considered a shoe-box in North America. And just like you I have a 4 year old at home.
My solution was a relatively simple one. I just gave up trying to smoke in the evening and began walking to work in the morning. That way I can just enjoyably smoke a bowlful and have a nice 30-40 minute walk every morning. Of course I would love to end my day with a nice pipeful of Nightcap or something but it's not going to happen so I make the best of it.
As for switching my pipe-smoking to the morning, it comes with many benefits.
1) Exercise. As I stroll to work in the morning I am guaranteed 40 minutes of fresh air, exercise and peace of mind.
2) Peace. You mentioned smoking in your car and getting called up sometimes. Not in the morning...nobody is up or cares about me at that time. Strolling along on my walking route, nothing is going to interrupt me. Its just me, my pipe and the birds.
3) A better reason to wake up. Who looks forward to waking up in the morning to go to work? No one. But who looks forward to waking up and smoking a bowl of Escudo, EMP or Full Virgina Flake? Me! It inspires me to go to bed early...it gets me out of bed earlier in the morning.
4) Harmony. A harmonious marriage relies on eliminating conflict. Having a 4 year old in the house means an unbreakable nighttime routine of feeding them, washing them, putting them to bed. Trying to steal away to smoke a pipe during those hours is just inviting conflict so why go there? Since smoking in the morning there is way less conflict between my wife and I concerning smoking and that is cool with me. After all who can enjoy a bowl of 965 after you just scrapped with your wife? Ruins the flavor.

That's my story. As I write this it is 7:10am in Korea and I am the first at work enjoying the lingering taste of Peterson's Perfect Plug, listening to music and drinking tea. A fine way to start any day. But you drive to work? Easy. Just park a 30 minutes walk away and plan a walking route. Then, enjoy another bowl at the end of your day. Enrich your day.

Hope my story can be helpful. Good luck in the house hunt Bentbulldog!
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Bullwinkle

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Registration date : 2010-04-03

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 10:54 pm

idbowman wrote:
Simple Man wrote:

I just would prefer to take advice from someone who has shown how it is done successfully, whether that is in marriage or a myriad of other things.


I'm probably stepping into a minefield I have no business being in, buuuuuut:

Failure can be just as educational as success.  One needn't succeed at a thing to take valuable experience from it; on the other hand, succeeding at a thing doesn't guarantee an understanding of WHY you succeeded.

As I see it, experience can be valuable or worthless, irrespective of the end result.  It's all relative.


someone must be a slow learner to have burned through 3 wives before learning their lesson. if they have.

btw, was she this fanatical about you not smoking before your daughter arrived?

2) Peace. You mentioned smoking in your car and getting called up sometimes. Not in the morning...nobody is up or cares about me at that time. Strolling along on my walking route, nothing is going to interrupt me. Its just me, my pipe and the birds.

OP, if you really want to smoke undisturbed and when and where you want being married with a 4yo ain't the way to do it  even if you don't know it you have more important things.  what does your wife do in the evening for an hour undistributed?

I grew up in a house where both parents averaged over 2 packs of Lucky Strikes a day each. in HS I could barely run a mile. leap forward I'm drafted and first time I am truly smoke free and I doing the mile in a hair over 6 minutes.
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Psmith

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Location : Sokcho, South Korea
Registration date : 2013-04-21

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Wed Dec 10, 2014 11:56 pm

OP, if you really want to smoke undisturbed and when and where you want being married with a 4yo ain't the way to do it even if you don't know it you have more important things. what does your wife do in the evening for an hour undistributed?

Well...actually what I want is to enjoy being married, enjoy fatherhood and enjoy a pipe. I have found a way to do all three without really trading one for the other. I think Bentbull dog is trying to do the same so that is why he asked some pipesmoking brothers for their thoughts.

My wife doesn't do anything undistributed (umm...undisturbed) for an hour in the evening, hence the conflict that would arise if I was to do so. That's why I take my hour in the morning.
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Richard Burley

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Location : North Coast NY
Registration date : 2011-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:21 am

Can't you just vent a room, somehow? I live in an apartment (now). Pipe smoking doesn't cause any problems, but a cigar will do a number on the atmosphere. I just turn on the bathroom vent when cigar smoking, and that seems to work rather well, probably because the desk where I smoke is close by. For someone a bit more fastidious, a more sophisticated apparatus seems called for. Good luck trying to find a terrace apartment that's a bargain in Queens.
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Kyle Weiss

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Location : Reno, NV
Registration date : 2011-09-18

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:22 am

Richard Burley wrote:
Good luck trying to find a terrace apartment that's a bargain in Queens.

Probably get five years in prison for even attempting/daring to smoke in such a place, anyway. Laughing

Cool
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Bullwinkle

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Registration date : 2010-04-03

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:13 am

Psmith wrote:
OP, if you really want to smoke undisturbed and when and where you want being married with a 4yo ain't the way to do it  even if you don't know it you have more important things.  what does your wife do in the evening for an hour undistributed?

Well...actually what I want is to enjoy being married, enjoy fatherhood and enjoy a pipe.  I have found a way to do all three without really trading one for the other.  I think Bentbull dog is trying to do the same so that is why he asked some pipesmoking brothers for their thoughts.

My wife doesn't do anything undistributed (umm...undisturbed) for an hour in the evening, hence the conflict that would arise if I was to do so.  That's why I take my hour in the morning.


the response was for the OP.. sounds like you have figured it out.
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riff raff

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Location : Western Maryland
Registration date : 2011-05-24

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:47 am

Yep, sounds like he has worked out the best solution for his current circumstances. When you don't have as many opportunities, those smokes are savored.

Bullwinkle wrote:
Psmith wrote:
OP, if you really want to smoke undisturbed and when and where you want being married with a 4yo ain't the way to do it  even if you don't know it you have more important things.  what does your wife do in the evening for an hour undistributed?

Well...actually what I want is to enjoy being married, enjoy fatherhood and enjoy a pipe.  I have found a way to do all three without really trading one for the other.  I think Bentbull dog is trying to do the same so that is why he asked some pipesmoking brothers for their thoughts.

My wife doesn't do anything undistributed (umm...undisturbed) for an hour in the evening, hence the conflict that would arise if I was to do so.  That's why I take my hour in the morning.


the response was for the OP..  sounds like you have figured it out.
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Old Nate
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Age : 34
Location : Western PA
Registration date : 2014-08-27

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 12:34 pm

My wife hates everything about tobacco. She asked me, very seriously, the other day if I would stop smoking for her and our son... "Why do I need to do something that is completely secluded from the two people that I love the most in this world?" She asked. In a way, she's right. When I smoke my pipe in the evening, I lose at least an hour with them, and I hate that. So, I smoke on the deck if they're not home, or when I take the dog for a walk, or on my way to work, maybe home from work... No, I don't get as much enjoyment out of smoking in the car, but I do get a feeling that no pipe can replace when I pick up my son, and kiss my wife after a lousy day at work.

I understand your frustration, Charles. Especially since you are so crammed for space in the city, it can make a simple thing like an afternoon pipe feel rushed and maybe mechanical, instead of relaxing and satisfying. Like so many people have said, it's about finding that compromise. If you have to, build yourself a little smoking paradise when you buy that new house. Remember to show your wife that she and your daughter are the reasons you do what you do... plus, by doing this you'll probably smoke less, therefore, really enjoying the moments you do get with your pipe, and I think the wife would appreciate seeing you set your wishes aside like that. I've only been married a short while, and I have OH SO MUCH TO LEARN, but it is apparent, that what I want (while important in its own right) needs to come second to what my wife, son, and family want and need of me.

Those are my thoughts,

Nathan

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balkan_boy

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Location : Sofia, Bulgaria
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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 3:01 pm

Old Nate wrote:
.... No, I don't get as much enjoyment out of smoking in the car....



If you put it that way, maybe not. You get distracted and you don't contemplate over the smoke properly, and armchair by the fireplace would probably be the better choice, but if you put it the other way around, smoking in the car can be pretty awesome.

When I was living an hour away from my office, I absolutely enjoyed smoking in the car. It turns the rush hour into peaceful and jolly ride. Now I'm about 2 minutes away, so I don't smoke in the car anymore. But when I'm stuck in the traffic jam, the most calming thing to do is to smoke a pipe. When you had a lousy day, and whatever could go wrong went wrong, a pipe on the way home changes your inner world completely.  Of course you have to open the window, but in the summer it works perfectly.
A pipe on the way home, and you arrive all shiny and stress free to your family.
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KevinM



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Location : Connecticut
Registration date : 2012-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Thu Dec 11, 2014 9:36 pm

"Bent" gave me a renewed sense of gratitude for my own house with my own deck, where I sit watching a gentle snowfall on my own trees in my own backyard, out of sight of prying neighbors as I peacefully puff a briar. Yes, my missus will sometimes call through the slider, "You're not smoking, are you?" And I reply, "Of course not, dear." My only suggestion for someone caught in this maelstrom of social pressure and role conflict is to keep an eye peeled for likely smoking spots in the (shudder) urban neighborhood. I still do this, and often spot well-placed public benches, little clusters of tree, semi-scenic parking spots. . .

At some risk, I tentatively mention that, in "The Wife of Bath's Tale," Chaucer answerered the query that stumped Freud -- "What do women want?" The answer is "Governance over the male." But they are (can be) gentle governesses, and will usually be content if you just seem to comply. And with a four-year-old, she'll probably have little energy for minding you, so maybe a workable solution will appear. Good luck.
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Feazelle-n-it

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Location : Roanoke, VA
Registration date : 2014-10-07

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:27 pm

My wife doesn't hate my smoking but she's not going to make it easy on me either. I have a two year old son, so smoking in the house was never a question in my mind. Even when the wind is up and the temps are down (like last night). I also smoke after my wife and son go to bed. After 11 years in the Navy, if I get more than 6 hours of sleep I feel like crap the next day. So going to bed after midnight is preferable for me anyway. My wife and son are usually in bed before 10 so that gives me a decent time frame to smoke. All my wife asks is that I shower and brush my teeth before climbing into bed (my usual routine anyway). Maybe an arrangement like this could work for you too.
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skaukatt

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 3:52 pm

I hear you loud and clear.  I live in an apartment in Queens.  I am very fortunate to have a wife who tolerates without complaining, my indoor pipe smoking and supports my love of the hobby, she's a saint!  I limit it to the living room where I sit just inside a terrace door, which I open for ventilation and blow a fan in the direction of the outside.  I am fortunate to have a terrace just off my living room where, in the warmer seasons I am able to sit outside and smoke.  In the winter or when it the temperatures are cold like they are now, or when it is inclement, I sit just inside the door and crack it open and blow the fan in my direction which blows the smoke outside.  There is still an issue, however...

The issue is that my upstairs neighbor has complained to the landlord about the smell of my pipe smoke, which still lingers in the house - it disturbs his right to quiet enjoyment.  The landlord has asked me to help him out as he does not want to have to enforce a smoke free home policy, thankfully.

So, I am in a state of adjustment in the sense that I have just shelled out $300 for an air purifier, a solution that I only have half confidence in in fixing the issue.  It has not arrived yet so I have no results as to what it can do for me in my situation.  It is on the top 10 list of purifiers and seems to be the best bang for the buck but when it comes to cleaning smoke, it's tough to mitigate that smell.  Of course you can spend $500, $600 and up on a more robust purifier but I am not about to do that nor is it financially a viable option for me.  So I bought what I could afford and that has a pretty decent good review record according to all of my research.  (It's a Whirlpool Whispure 510, BTW, with the addition of scented air freshener attachments from Filter Fast that attach to the pre-filter supposedly.) - my fingers are crossed but there are many opinions/reviews as to the effectiveness or lack thereof, of the unit.

I am hoping that coupled with positioning the fan, my seat and cracking open the door the new unit will clean out enough remaining smoke that the issue can resolve favorably.  Indeed, to own your own home gives you much greater control over what you can and cannot do and hear complaints about it.  I'm trying my best to enjoy my pipe and keep things amenable to all.  We'll see how that goes...
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Bullwinkle

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 7:27 pm

I got the answer.. just move in with the in-laws!
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bentbulldog

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Location : Briarwood, NY (not joking)
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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 9:13 pm


Bullwinkle wrote:
I got the answer..  just move in with the in-laws!

cheers bounce cheers

skaukatt wrote:

The issue is that my upstairs neighbor has complained to the landlord about the smell of my pipe smoke, which still lingers in the house - it disturbs his right to quiet enjoyment.  The landlord has asked me to help him out as he does not want to have to enforce a smoke free home policy, thankfully.

So, I am in a state of adjustment in the sense that I have just shelled out $300 for an air purifier, a solution that I only have half confidence in in fixing the issue.  It has not arrived yet so I have no results as to what it can do for me in my situation.  It is on the top 10 list of purifiers and seems to be the best bang for the buck but when it comes to cleaning smoke, it's tough to mitigate that smell.  Of course you can spend $500, $600 and up on a more robust purifier but I am not about to do that nor is it financially a viable option for me.  So I bought what I could afford and that has a pretty decent good review record according to all of my research.  (It's a Whirlpool Whispure 510, BTW, with the addition of scented air freshener attachments from Filter Fast that attach to the pre-filter supposedly.) - my fingers are crossed but there are many opinions/reviews as to the effectiveness or lack thereof, of the unit.

I am hoping that coupled with positioning the fan, my seat and cracking open the door the new unit will clean out enough remaining smoke that the issue can resolve favorably.  Indeed, to own your own home gives you much greater control over what you can and cannot do and hear complaints about it.  I'm trying my best to enjoy my pipe and keep things amenable to all.  We'll see how that goes...

Lou, it's something us fellow NYers have to deal with: the zealous, overly sanitized, NYC public that can tolerate an overabundance of industrial and auto pollution but think that being around a smoker, OUTSIDE will give them cancer from second hand smoke 5)
But we must accommodate...Let me know how your method works out.
I need to schedule a trip to the next pipe club meeting...it's been 7 yrs. Look what I found in the pipe closet

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Cartaphilus

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 9:19 pm

Don't tell me............your the goom-bah in the center? Wink
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jvillaveces

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:34 pm

I'm a widower now, so it's moot.  Since we were dating, my wife loathed every form of tobacco, but I smoked cigarettes, cigars, and pipes.  She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did.  Many of our friends have a no-smoking-in-their-home policy, so I established a policy of not visiting them.  When we see each other, it's at my place, and they know I will be smoking my pipe (I gave up cigarettes many years ago), so they can make an informed decision whether or not they want to come.  BTW, most do come, and it's been ages since I had to put up with fake coughs and the like. Now I'm pushing 50, so I don't meet as many new people, and nowadays I am even less inclined than I was in my youth to put up with people's hypocrisy about my smoking.  I like it so I smoke.  End of story.
In case I'm coming across as an arrogant prick (an accusation I've heard once or twice before), I doted on my wife.  I happily put up with, enabled, and encouraged, as many of her whims and caprices as I could, and did my best to "spoil" her.  However, I thought our marriage was a two-way street, not an agreement to become her slave or have her be mine.  I respected her and demanded the same respect in return.  For us, it worked.  We were in love for many years, and as close as two people can get.  That being said, I never considered not smoking in my own house.  My kids, who are now teenagers, have tried to regurgitate on me what they are taught in school about the ills of all tobacco, but they haven't been too successful either.


Last edited by jvillaveces on Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:52 pm; edited 2 times in total
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:42 pm

jvillaveces wrote:
I'm a widower now, so it's moot.  Since we were daing, my wife loathed every form of tobacco, but I smoked cigarettes, cigars, and pipes.  She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did.  Many of our friends have a no smoking policy, so I established a policy of not visiting them.  When we see each other, it's at my place, and they know I will be smoking my pipe (I gave up cigarettes many years ago), so they can make an informed decision whether or not they want to come.  BTW, most do come, and it's been ages since I had to put up with fake coughs and the like. NOw I'm pushing 50, so I don't meet as many new people, and nowadays I am even less inclined than I was in my youth to put up with people's hypocrisy about my smoking.  I like it so I smoke.  End of story.

Sounds good to me! Wink
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KevinM



Age : 74
Location : Connecticut
Registration date : 2012-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Fri Dec 12, 2014 10:56 pm

I would plumb hate living in an environment in which there was no escape from the oversight of half-witted neighbors. Brrrrr. Last time the missus and I were house-hunting I discovered a line on the form filled out by our RE agent -- "Not suited to condo living." Well, it's true. This afternoon I smoked some PA in a cob in the backyard while watching flights of raucous geese head south and a hawk cruise the neighborhood looking for lunch. Those are the kind of neighbors whose company I enjoy. But I digress --

Here's an idea for you -- cold smoking. Quite a while ago I got into the habit of filling pipes in anticipation of smoking them later. From this grew a habit of sipping on the filled pipes while musing on the upcoming day's schedule. I enjoyed this. It doesn't take the place of real smoking to be sure, but it serves as a kind of appetizer, and does offer taste, relaxation and a sample of the full ritual to come. Not bad, really. Better than going cold turkey. You might try it sometime. And if the missus objects to this, you may well suspect she's just trying to get into your head.

Finally -- a few years ago, my daily schedule in the spring was to get out there and reclaim my yard from old man winter. After some healthy work/exercise -- and before my missus would be ready to decide which Early Bird Special we would have that day, I would sit on a bench with pipe and beer in hand. My respite often coincided with the school bus returning with the neighborhood youngsters. Somehow, this quickly morphed into the youngsters bringing me their bikes for repairs, filling tires, adjusting seats and handlebars, adjusting brakes etc. I would perform these services while clenching a cob and finishing my brew. Soon, word of these activities spread over the Neighborhood Young Mothers Alarm Network, and my missus was approached by one of the more officious ladies to see if Mr. M would desist with the pipe and brewski in front of the kiddos, but should continue with the repairs, free child care and provision of snacks. To which I gave my practiced non-commital reply and otherwise just ignored the non-problem. Eventually I simply moved my repair shop to the backyard, which isn't open to nosey neighbors from the road. And, of course, the kids quickly got older:-) But people just will not leave well enough alone it seems. Chairman Mao would be proud, I'll bet.

Oh, yes, my missus and I have been married for 42 years.
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bentbulldog

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Location : Briarwood, NY (not joking)
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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Sat Dec 13, 2014 12:37 am

Cartaphilus wrote:
Don't tell me............your the goom-bah in the center? Wink

lol! cheers lol! cheers lol!

I wouldn't mind having that pipe...
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fsu92john

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Sat Dec 13, 2014 10:04 am

jvillaveces wrote:
She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did....

I thought our marriage was a two-way street, not an agreement to become her slave or have her be mine.  I respected her and demanded the same respect in return.  For us, it worked.  We were in love for many years, and as close as two people can get.  That being said, I never considered not smoking in my own house.  My kids, who are now teenagers, have tried to regurgitate on me what they are taught in school about the ills of all tobacco, but they haven't been too successful either.

This is the way it is for me as well. I was a pipe smoker when my wife met me, so she knew what she was getting into. She tolerates smoking in the house because she realized that it's my house too (it took her a few months, but she did figure it out Very Happy). By the same token, I tolerate her idiosyncracies. It has to be a two-way street.
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Jevverrett

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Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Sun Dec 28, 2014 4:45 pm

I personally looked for women who either did smoke, or who didn't care that I did. And I was never shy with the pipe if I thought she was girlfriend material. I went with the non smoking section option when it came to the pipe. I have a newborn son now, first son is four. I smoke upstairs in my bedroom in the cold months. But the kids live downstairs. Aside from that, the kids rarely have any business in my bedroom. I would strongly advise you look for that patio brother. You need to be comfortable in your own home, right?
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bentbulldog

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PostSubject: Re: Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…   Sun Dec 28, 2014 10:52 pm

Jevverrett wrote:
I personally looked for women who either did smoke, or who didn't care that I did. And I was never shy with the pipe if I thought she was girlfriend material. I went with the non smoking section option when it came to the pipe. I have a newborn son now, first son is four. I smoke upstairs in my bedroom in the cold months. But the kids live downstairs. Aside from that, the kids rarely have any business in my bedroom. I would strongly advise you look for that patio brother. You need to be comfortable in your own home, right?

This is where I messed up. I got married young, and for not all the right reasons. She didn't know I smoked a pipe, and I made an effort not to bring it up. No

It was wrong and I'm dealing with it now. I may have to just live with the fact I will never have my fireplace, armchair, and pipe in my own house.
But I love my hobby and will have to make due with what I am given if I want to grow my family.
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