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 Virgin blender

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Ozark Wizard

Ozark Wizard

Age : 54
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 6:07 pm

So, I've been working with a young man who lives in Arkansas, a self proclaimed survivalist, yet still firmly entrenched in his family's finances, on his wanting to grow, cure, top, and blend his own tobaccos...

It has been a funny, frustrating, and eye rolling time...

Have you ever met anyone who thinks their scraps is worth you trading your best with them? Ahh, to have lived a life of privilege...

So he texts me today with the results of his Perique experiment. I had shared with him some ideas regarding the process. Unfortunately, yet quite entertainingly, his interpretations have produced less than stellar results....

Something akin to spinach. Another reminiscent of a peat bog in the heat of summer. More variations, similar results ensued...

He has educated me in the perception of time. I say 'Aged', thinking of years, he considers it as not smoking a whole tin in a night, and having some left over in the morning. I say to press the Burley leaf for three months, rotate, reapply pressure, do this for a year, for his "Perique". He uses Virginia, (whatever, who knows, right?)

So, he says he has aged this batch for 5 months. (He started this batch in mid February). He dried it and is smoking it. "Tastes kind of plummy". I think, cool, no mold, no wine, no whine about what might have gone wrong. Nice..

Then, the comedy.....

He is thinking about mixing some of it with some Virginia. He thinks it is a new thing that will "change the blending world forever". He plans on calling it "PerVa"....

My ribs hurt still from laughing. How do I break the news to him?

PERVA????


oh my.... Good Schnitzel there, I don't care who you are...

Carry on............
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Brewdude
Moderator
Brewdude

Age : 66
Location : Arid-zona
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 7:00 pm

PERVA sounds vaguely....well...perverted.....now doesn't it!

Exclamation

Best wishes to your friend/student.

tongue


Cheers,

RR

_________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin


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monbla256

monbla256

Age : 73
Location : DFW Metroplex, Texas
Registration date : 2012-01-15

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 8:00 pm

You said he lives in Arkansas so what else would you expect Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
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Ozark Wizard

Ozark Wizard

Age : 54
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 8:04 pm

You said he lives in Arkansas so what else would you expect Twisted Evil Twisted Evil ...



That's cruel....
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juanmedusa

juanmedusa

Age : 37
Location : Falls Church, Virginia
Registration date : 2013-07-06

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 8:21 pm

I want hang out with you! There is no doubt you have the patience for my idiosyncrasies.
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Ozark Wizard

Ozark Wizard

Age : 54
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Fri Mar 13, 2015 8:49 pm

juanmedusa wrote:
I want hang out with you! There is no doubt you have the patience for my idiosyncrasies.


I have been accused of that being patient thang by others....
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Stick

Stick

Age : 49
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Sat Mar 14, 2015 1:32 am

A great read OZ, it really tickled me, thanks for sharing. It's characters like this chap that make the world go round. Despite being hugely frustrating, It's hard not to like them.

Anyway, once he's ironed out the wrinkles with this new Perva, drop me a pm; I reckon he's on to something...
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Ozark Wizard

Ozark Wizard

Age : 54
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Sat Mar 14, 2015 2:50 pm

Stick wrote:
A great read OZ, it really tickled me, thanks for sharing. It's characters like this chap that make the world go round. Despite being hugely frustrating,  It's hard not to like them.

Anyway, once he's ironed out the wrinkles with this new Perva, drop me a pm; I reckon he's on to something...


Will do! I'll let him smoke this new fermentation for a while and watch his health before I get too excited about trying some though....
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MichaelM

MichaelM

Age : 53
Location : Souderton, PA
Registration date : 2014-02-13

PostSubject: Re: Virgin blender   Sat Mar 14, 2015 4:49 pm

PERVA looks like an acronym for an organized ring of... nevermind.
Thanks for the laugh Ozark! I have wondered if there are health risks for people trying this sort of thing. Mold can be a nasty thing to inhale, but burning mold perhaps less so. Maybe I'm overly cautious, but blending perique is not that expensive.
Mike.
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