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 Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes

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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 7:13 pm

My 5 year old woke up early the other day and decided to get into some mischief. He locked my mother in her room while she was asleep. Found a tube of icy hot, and a tube of desitin butt cream. Then he filled my ashtray with icy hot, and four of my pipes with the desitin. My full bent sandblasted BC, Nording signature cherrywood, Kurt Huhn poker, and my boulder and briar bent egg. Two of them are easily replaced, one I can live without. One I was sad to have lost, as it was a gift that I regularly enjoyed.

After that, he rubbed the remaining creams all over the rug inside/outside my bedroom, sprinkled it liberally with baby powder and then soaked the whole thing in my gfs perfume. He ransacked my gfs makeup case after that, made a modern art masterpiece on the rug, and thoroughly scented my bed. New sheets are always nice, I guess. I've gotten the rug as good as it will get, but the pipes are gone forever sadly. I even tried boiling one of them to see if it would get out the butt cream. Come to find out, you should never boil a briar pipe haha.

I didn't yell at him or hit him or anything like that btw. I was raised that way, but the world is different now. I didn't come home till I was calmed down though lol. So, he has no more electronics for the forseeable future. He has no explanation as to why he did any of this. I'm not sure where I'm going with this post, I guess I just wanted to vent some.
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Fatman

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Age : 55
Location : Alaska
Registration date : 2013-02-14

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 7:21 pm

Hahahahahaha, man sort of sorry to laugh, but that is a funny, and somewhat tragic, story. You're a better man than me, I would light my kid's butt on fire if one of them did that.
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 7:32 pm

That's very tragic Jev. I can't even imagine going through something like that without going postal. My Pap would've tanned my ass raw if I'd have ever done anything like that.

Hope you can get suitable replacements for those pipes.


Cheers,

RR

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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:23 pm

Thanks for the sentiments. I'm sure I will replace them in time. I caught more than a few whippings as a kid myself. Im not sure that they kept me from repeat offenses most of the time. I do spank him if he does something dangerous he knows not to. I think it scares him more than anything else. He made a mess like this when he was three, and I figured he's three, it was bound to happen. This was planned out though, so a spanking is over too quickly I think. Him losing his tv, electronics and visiting privileges with his extended family hit home well. He has to earn back the things he loves with good behavior. Hopefully it works out...
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:23 pm

Kids will do these things but, I suspect he has something against you smoking a pipe and maybe even your girl friend. Children can over hear things and take it upon themselves to act out some else's words.
There not stupid by any means and know exactly why they do things.

As for your pipes, I would try retorting them, this is a boiling out with alcohol in a sense and will not harm the pipe if done properly. Even a salt treatment might work. If you want you can send them my way and I'll retort them for you.
Just PM me. Wink
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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 8:24 pm

Brewdude wrote:
That's very tragic Jev. I can't even imagine going through something like that without going postal. My Pap would've tanned my ass raw if I'd have ever done anything like that.

Hope you can get suitable replacements for those pipes.


Cheers,

RR


I agree, would have gotten a woop'en to remember. affraid
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Puff Daddy
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Age : 53
Location : South of heaven
Registration date : 2007-12-09

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 12, 2016 9:00 pm

Jevverrett wrote:
desitin butt cream.

Just clean it up and smoke some Grousemoor through it, you'll never be able to tell. And if it tastes like shit, well, there's already butt cream on it Smile

_________________
These are horrible times and all sorts of horrible people are prospering, but we must never let this disturb our equanimity or deflect us from our sacred duty to annoy and hinder them at every turn.
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Richard Hester
Author of "My Love My Pipe"
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Age : 50
Location : missouri
Registration date : 2009-08-12

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 12:15 am

Brother I am sorry to hear about your pipes. I must say you handled yourself very well. I think the pain I put on his bottom would be legendary in Hell. You sir are a good man I tip my hat to you. But on the bright side know you can go pipe shopping.

Best Regards,
Richard
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MisterE
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Location : Mexico City
Registration date : 2009-08-24

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 1:44 am

I feel your pain! My son got into my pipes around the same age. Ihad left a cup of coffee at my desk and he poured it into every pipe within reach. Makes sense when you're five, right?


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Many of the greatest pleasures in life are illegal, immoral, or smelly.

-Yak
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Hermit

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Age : 64
Location : Ascension Parish
Registration date : 2008-04-22

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 3:56 am

Quite the little vandal at age five...good luck.  Laughing
Gotta give him points for creativity.  Twisted Evil
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Ozark Wizard

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Age : 53
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 11:50 am

Sounds like he needs a hobby. I like your approach to the punishment, spankings these days tend to illicit lawsuits against you for assault.

Good luck.
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ftrplt

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Age : 71
Location : Split between Raleigh, NC and OKC, OK
Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 6:18 pm

My twin girls once used two of my Turkish meers for "bubble" pipes; damn near pee'd in my pants laughing so hard. They weren't great meers anyway Razz Then there was the time they helped their Mom shine the kitchen floor...with Crisco and flour Twisted Evil Mom not so happy No No No I wasn't without sin in my early days either. Thought I would help out my grandfather by filling the gas tank in his old car with a mixture of water, sand, and fine pebbles Suspect Suspect Suspect That wasn't such a good idea Wink Wink Wink cheers FTRPLT

P.S. Remember, one day you'll look back on this as the good ol' days!!!!!!!!!


Last edited by ftrplt on Tue Jun 14, 2016 12:06 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 7:43 pm

I've actually used this opportunity to try and get a bit closer with him, and improve his character. Since he has no electronics, I've been working on writing numbers and letters with him, working with him on rhyming, reasoning and creative thought problems daily. And having him go play outside daily. Also, reading to him and returning to bedtime stories each night. He starts kindergarten in the fall, so I probably should have stepped this up awhile back instead of only on the weekends.

Hopefully this doesn't backfire on me. I don't want him to get it in his head that he needs to destroy things to get attention. I have four siblings and was raised in a fairly strict baptist household. I went to church three days a week as a kid. We do go to church on sunday, but it's not the social center of our lives. I wasn't raised with the new age parenting thing, I'm kinda winging it here.
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
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PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 8:30 pm

Let's see..
5x12=60
60/3=20
20+3=23

23 is the magic number.

I would have suffered a 23rd trimester abortion had I pulled a stunt like this.
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KevinM



Age : 74
Location : Connecticut
Registration date : 2012-02-26

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Mon Jun 13, 2016 9:08 pm

Congratulations on your admirable stoic self control. I'd like to be able to offer some helpful remedial advice, but my ability to decipher the five-year old thought process and supply a rational narrative explaining it is limited. Locking gram in her bedroom is, well, interesting. Where, oh, where, do the little stinkers come up with this stuff? Hard to say. My angelic daughter, maybe a little younger, made a "clubhouse" for herself under the dining room table. Spent quite a bit of time in there. Turned out she was writing with crayons and magic marker and scratching with pins on her "walls" and "ceiling." It was like making cave paintings. We asked why she did this. "I don't know," she replied thoughtfully. It passed. Maybe they just get bored. Maybe they get tired of being "good"" and see this as an "I'm here" sort of personal expression. But I don't know. You did well in adversity. Maybe it's an opportunity to buy a few cobs.
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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Tue Jun 14, 2016 6:12 pm

I have two in my ashtray now lol.
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Stick

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Age : 47
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Wed Jun 15, 2016 1:08 am

Ah yes, children. Love em to bits but they certainly bring new challenges in to one's life.

Nicely handled mate. The patience of a saint.
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PeterD

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Age : 65
Location : Hixson, TN (Chattanooga Area)
Registration date : 2012-06-04

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Thu Jun 16, 2016 11:58 pm

...Raising seven sons, I too look back and remember all those things that really made life interesting as well as a challenge...Fortunately, I only lost a few pipes mostly from them either being dropped or stepped-on...and no real expensive pipes...but loosing them still made me a bit angry...as stated...today things are different, no spankings but the loss of TV, games, and privileges...seemed to drive the point home.
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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Fri Jun 17, 2016 1:23 pm

Hey- at least there will be some good online pipe sales for Father's Day.
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Fri Jun 17, 2016 7:39 pm

Jevverrett wrote:
Hey- at least there will be some good online pipe sales for Father's Day.

Yes indeed, in fact SP has a 10% off sale this weekend for all new and estates.

rabbit



Cheers,

RR
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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sat Jun 18, 2016 4:43 pm

Yeah, I saw. I just pulled the trigger on a slightly lager bowl estate cutty unsmoked and a chacom turbo pot. Because I had to, you see lol


Last edited by Jevverrett on Sun Jun 19, 2016 8:41 am; edited 1 time in total
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sat Jun 18, 2016 7:25 pm

There was an estate Tinsky 'doggie natural finish blast (unsmoked) in their Thurs newsletter for $150. Being a big fan of Mark's pipes I was salivating over this. And then the next day I saw the 10% off sale, but by that time it went poof!

Ah well, ya snooze ya looze they say. Yet I really can't be spending do-re-mi on pipes just now. Got other priorities.......<sigh>


Cheers,

RR
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Clay

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Age : 51
Location : Ketchikan, AK
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PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Sun Jun 19, 2016 10:51 pm

I'd smoke the butt cream right out of them. When I was a kid at my grandparents cabin my aunt told me I could use their tooth paste if I wanted to try something new. Young me thought that would be cool and I hadn't tried Desidin before. It was gross, I didn't complain and went to bed. Later I saw my aunt putting some on my cousin's butt and then realized I had grabbed the wrong tube. scratch
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Jevverrett

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Age : 35
Location : Meriden, Ct
Registration date : 2014-12-13

PostSubject: Re: Ahh... Kids are handful sometimes   Tue Jun 21, 2016 6:20 pm

Lol
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