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 Todays chuckle

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peanubutter

peanubutter

Age : 60
Location : Cheyenne, WY
Registration date : 2019-01-20

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyMon Mar 18, 2019 10:44 am

Thanks for the clarification. At the restaurant we didn't mush them but did add mint, or basil, or a bit of orange zest to add some variety. The favorite seemed to be bacon and onion though.
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DrT999

DrT999

Age : 60
Location : Piedmont of North Carolina
Registration date : 2011-08-31

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyMon Mar 18, 2019 12:01 pm

peanubutter wrote:
Green glop = smashed peas? No idea other than that.

Aye, looks like mushy peas ta me as well!
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ftrplt

ftrplt

Age : 72
Location : Split between Raleigh, NC and OKC, OK
Registration date : 2007-12-15

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyMon Mar 18, 2019 12:45 pm

Yep, mushy peas!! Always have a few servings when visiting our English relatives in the Mother Country!! cheers FTRPLT
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Brewdude
Moderator
Brewdude

Age : 66
Location : Arid-zona
Registration date : 2011-05-04

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptySat Apr 13, 2019 2:40 pm

An elderly man in the Northern Territory of Australia, had owned a large property for several years.

He had a dam in one of the lower paddocks where he had planted mango and avocado trees. The dam had been fixed up for swimming when it was built and he also had some picnic tables placed there in the shade of the fruit trees.

One evening the elderly farmer decided to go down to the dam to look it over, as he hadn't been there for a while. He grabbed a ten liter bucket to bring back some fruit.

As he neared the dam, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his dam.

He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"

The old man replied, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the dam water naked."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the crocodile."

Moral: Old folks may walk slow, but they can still think fast. Embarassed


Cheers,

RR

_________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin


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Corncobcon

Corncobcon

Age : 69
Location : From the prarie of KS. to Lake of the Ozarks, MO.
Registration date : 2017-10-15

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptySat Apr 13, 2019 8:05 pm

lol! lol!

Yup! There might be snow on the mountain, but there is still a fire down below!
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Brewdude
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Brewdude

Age : 66
Location : Arid-zona
Registration date : 2011-05-04

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyWed Apr 24, 2019 9:20 pm

QUIZ: Reading them slowly may help.


1. Johnny's mother had three children. The first child was named April. The second child was named May. What was the third child's name?

Answer: Johnny, of course

2. There is a clerk at the butcher shop, he is five feet ten inches tall, and he wears size 13 sneakers. What does he weigh?

Answer: Meat.

3. Before Mt. Everest was discovered, what was the highest mountain in the world?

Answer: Mt. Everest

4. How much dirt is there in a hole that measures two feet by three feet by four feet?

Answer: There is no dirt in a hole.

5. What word in the English language is always spelled incorrectly?

Answer: Incorrectly

6. Billy was born on December 28th, yet her birthday is always in the summer. How is this possible?

Answer: Billy lives in the Southern Hemisphere

7. In California, you cannot take a picture of a man with a wooden leg. Why not?

Answer: You can't take pictures with a wooden leg. You need a camera to take pictures.

8. If you were running a race and you passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in now?

Answer: You would be in 2nd.

10. Which is correct to say, "The yolk of the egg are white" or "The yolk of the egg is white"?

Answer: Neither, the yolk of the egg is yellow.

11. If a farmer has 5 haystacks in one field and 4 haystacks in the other field, how many haystacks would he have if he combined them all in another field?

Answer: One. If he combines all of his haystacks, they all become one big stack.


5)



Cheers,

RR

_________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin


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Corncobcon

Corncobcon

Age : 69
Location : From the prarie of KS. to Lake of the Ozarks, MO.
Registration date : 2017-10-15

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyWed Apr 24, 2019 9:37 pm

clown


Oh, go smoke your pipe!
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Brewdude
Moderator
Brewdude

Age : 66
Location : Arid-zona
Registration date : 2011-05-04

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PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Todays chuckle - Page 5 EmptyWed Jun 12, 2019 11:26 am

On the subject of being absent minded:

Lying around, pondering the problems of the world:


If walking is good for your health, the mailman would be immortal.

A whale swims all day, only eats fish, and drinks water, but is still fat.

A rabbit runs and hops, and lives 15 years,

A tortoise doesn't run or do anything, yet it lives for 150 years.

And they tell us to exercise?  I don't think so.


Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:


1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats are mostly enjoyed with prunes and all-bran.

3. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. If all is not lost, then where is it?

6. It was a whole lot easier to get older, than it was to get wiser.

7. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

8. I wish the buck really did stop here; I sure could use a few of them.

9. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

10. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

11. It is hard to make a comeback; when you haven't been anywhere.

12. The world only beats a path to your door; when you're in the bathroom.

13. If God wanted me to touch my toes; he'd have put them on my knees.

14. When I'm finally holding all the right cards; everyone wants to play chess.

15. It is not hard to meet expenses.  They're everywhere.

16. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

17. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter.
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm "here after".

18. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

19. It is a lot better to be seen than viewed.

20. Have I sent this message to you before: or did I get it from you?


lol!


Cheers,

RR

_________________
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin


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