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 Todays chuckle

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Age : 48
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Sun Mar 11, 2018 7:18 am

This occurred during a gameshow on Brit TV...

Host could see the contestant was pregnant so asked,

'What are you hoping for?'

Contestant, glancing nervously at her husband,

'That it's my husband's'.

Last edited by Stick on Mon Mar 12, 2018 7:33 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Age : 68
Location : New York City
Registration date : 2018-01-26

PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Sun Mar 11, 2018 10:26 am

Old Burlesque skit....

Two gents are standing a a sidewalk, talking, when a beautiful blonde -sporting a huge, bouncing rack, in a low-cut blouse, tight skirt, walks by. One gent gets a load of those bodacious Ta-Tas, and his eyes pop out of their sockets. He elbows his friend and quickly scurries over to the blonde and whispers something insulting into the dame's ear. Infuriated, she spins around and faces the leering masher, and says ...."FRESH"!.... The masher remarks...."If it's fresh, I'll take some"! She slaps his face, and walks off, still bouncing.

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Wed Mar 21, 2018 7:07 am

"Lexophile" describes those that have a love for words, such as "you can tune a piano, but you can't tuna fish", or "To write with a broken pencil is pointless." An annual competition is held by the New York Times see who can create the best original lexophile.

This year's winning submission is posted at the very end.

No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Iím reading a book about anti-gravity. I just canít put it down.

I didnít like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldnít control her pupils?

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

When chemists die, they barium.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.

I changed my iPodís name to Titanic. Itís syncing now.

England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore

I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.

I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.

A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.

A will is a dead giveaway.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered.

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
† † † † † † † † † † † † †
and the winner was:
† † † † † † † † † † † †
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the end.




"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy" - Benjamin Franklin

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Richard Burley


Location : North Coast NY
Registration date : 2011-04-09

PostSubject: Re: Todays chuckle   Today at 1:36 am

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