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 It had to happen eventually

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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 12:09 pm

My wife has wanted to move for four or five years now. As a teacher, her position was never perfectly stable - RIFs are all the rage around here, and as soon as you land in a new district you're right back at the bottom of the seniority ladder, and the cycle repeats. So I've been pretty successful in pumping the brakes until "we know we're both stable where we are, and we know where you'll be working so we know where to look."

Well, she's recently secured a position in a local district that swings the pendulum right back her way - better salary than she's ever had, district has a reputation for being one of the most financially stable in the area, and allows us to look for a new home without moving more than 15 minutes away. These are all very good things, but I've lost my last leg to stand on.

So we're moving. Soon. Actually, we've walked through some homes, secured financing, and are planning to make an offer this weekend. It's not that I don't want to move - we live in the house I grew up in, so after 35 years I'm ready for a change of scenery, too...I just REALLY, REALLY, hate the thought of the actual process of moving.


Just needed a place to whine.
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Richard Burley

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Location : North Coast NY
Registration date : 2011-04-09

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 12:33 pm

I'd get drunk. The actual process of moving is the same as spending a season in Hell. May God have mercy on your soul, hope you don't go insane, and that the reward will be worth it. The only thing worse than moving is having someone ask you if you want to help them move.  Laughing Twisted Evil
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GrampaGrossbart

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Age : 104
Location : The Mountains
Registration date : 2012-03-28

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 7:09 pm

Woof, that sounds like a real pain, brother, having made a couple of big moves in recent years I know just how much that sucks, even when it's for the best. Hope it goes by as quickly and painlessly as possible. And when all else fails follow RB's advice--may the briar and the bottle be your ally in the days ahead!
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 7:19 pm

Moving sucks no matter what as you well know Ian. Packing everything up and hauling it somewhere, then the unpacking and deciding where stuff is or isn't can stretch one's patience!

Hope it isn't too far where you'll have to be on the road for days before reaching the destination. And what about your job - will you be seeking new employment as well or do you telecommute and can work from home?

I'll be doing just that (moving) in a few years when I retire. I tell myself that it'll be the last move I'll ever have to make. Doesn't make the prospect any easier though!

So go ahead and whine, I got some cheese for that!

clown



Cheers,

RR
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Ozark Wizard

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Age : 53
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 7:57 pm

In my thoughts, I think it's good to move. It can cull random 'things' that collect like lint in the corners of our lives. When you move, think seriously about removing half of the material stuffs you possess, so to free yourself of them and be free of concern, covetousness and responsibility!

If any of your vices are holding you back from enlightenment, I can provide you an address you can forward them to!

Twisted Evil

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Cartaphilus

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Age : 63
Location : East Texas
Registration date : 2011-12-15

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 9:43 pm

I know I hate moving with a passion but, it seems most my life was just that, every 5 years it seems. I've lived here for 12 and it seems I may have to move again but, I'll pray I'm proven wrong. I don't think anyone really likes the moving process but, what you're moving to I think will be a step in the right direction....besides you're still a young man and have plenty of time to explore yet and in good health ta boot. I see only good things in front of you sir. Wink
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Puffy

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Age : 75
Location : North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-23

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Tue Jun 13, 2017 11:16 pm

Good Luck..Moving sucks,but you'll get through it.
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Old Nate
Not Really Old
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Age : 34
Location : Western PA
Registration date : 2014-08-27

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 8:38 am

Moving is awful! I feel for you but happy to hear some things are going well!
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Bonanzadriver

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Registration date : 2017-04-12

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 9:53 am

I think it's all a matter of perspective.

By the time I graduated from the 12th grade I had gone to 10 schools in 7 different states.

What did I do outta H.S.?     Joined the Navy.  Wink

During the 6 years I was in the Navy I had 5 different duty stations.

Over the last 28 years of being married to the Blonde we have moved 10 times, all for job opportunities / promotions.


Don't get me wrong, it can be stressful but not nearly as bad as some would have you believe.

I have found, however, that moving across town or to the neighboring town can be as much or more work than moving overseas.


If time is tight, higher some folks to come over and help pack and load up.

If money's tight, rent a uhaul, buy a bunch of beer and bratts and invite family and friends over to help out.


Change is inevitable...  Growth is optional.    Look at this as an opportunity.


Now, all that having been said, I'm going into my 13th year of living here in Pinehurst at the same house.  I really have enjoyed being in the same place all this time but have been considering moving to a different neighborhood.


Take aways....

1.  If you hire packers, keep an eye on em.  If they're paid by the hour they'll take forever to get the place packed.  If they're paid by the job they'll rush so fast that they will pack your garbage.  (ask me how I know)  Rolling Eyes

2.  If you hire movers make sure you don't let them rush you through the unloading and signing off that everything is fine phase.  Amazing what you'll find damaged or missing a couple of days after they've left.

3.  If you're using friends, make sure you oversee where and how things are loaded into the truck or trailer.  Don't want any broken pictures or mirrors.

4.  This is really common sense, but if you've never ever moved or are moving yourself for the first time...
    a.  Put the heavy stuff over the axle of the truck.
    b.  Put the heavy stuff just in front of the axle of the trailer
    c.  Don't skimp on the packing blankets.  Otherwise you'll end up with scratched furniture or a hole in great grandma's patchwork
         quilt.


Finally, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that there are youtube vidoes out about all of this.

Good luck
have fun


Dino
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Psmith

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Location : Sokcho, South Korea
Registration date : 2013-04-21

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 11:49 am

Im a bit nomadic at heart and enjoy moving. Forces you to pare down your belongings, taking stock with what belongings are worth taking to the next place. And you get to look at life and the world from a fresh place/perspective.

Congratulations on your wifes new position and best of luck with the move...hope it offers you a good new smoking spot!
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:48 pm

Richard Burley wrote:
I'd get drunk. The actual process of moving is the same as spending a season in Hell. May God have mercy on your soul, hope you don't go insane, and that the reward will be worth it.

Yep...that's pretty much my experience, and my proposed solution.


Brewdude wrote:
Hope it isn't too far where you'll have to be on the road for days before reaching the destination. And what about your job - will you be seeking new employment as well or do you telecommute and can work from home?


We're putting a bid in on our "Plan A" house this weekend - fortunately, if we land it it'll be less than 15 minutes from our current house and ends up being at most an extra 5 minute commute for me.
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 2:49 pm

Oh, and

Ozark Wizard wrote:
When you move, think seriously about removing half of the material stuffs you possess, so to free yourself of them and be free of concern, covetousness and responsibility!


I feel the same way. SWMBO, however...
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Stick

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Age : 47
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Wed Jun 14, 2017 4:11 pm

I feel for you idb, but good for you for supporting your wife in this manner.

I moved 14 times when I was in the Royal Air Force, which averaged out at roughly once every two years, and it never got any easier. Lots of good advice outlined above so I'll just add this.... Remember to stop and give each other a warm embrace from time to time, especially when things get tense, and keep thinking of the end goal.

Good luck old chap.
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Fri Jun 16, 2017 3:27 pm

Stick wrote:
I feel for you idb, but good for you for supporting your wife in this manner.

I moved 14 times when I was in the Royal Air Force, which averaged out at roughly once every two years, and it never got any easier.  Lots of good advice outlined above so I'll just add this.... Remember to stop and give each other a warm embrace from time to time, especially when things get tense, and keep thinking of the end goal.  

Good luck old chap.


Sage advice. We've been married 10 years now and seem to be in unison most of the time in the process - still, there have definitely been occasions where we have to remind each other that we are, in fact, playing on the same team.


I've always been told it's one of the most stressful, aggravating things people will go through - I generally dismissed it and thought "how miserable can it really be?!?" It lives up to its billing...those of you who've done this many times in your lives have some serious mettle!
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Ozark Wizard

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Age : 53
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Fri Jun 16, 2017 4:15 pm

Moving is aggravating you say?

You should see what home remodeling can do to a relationship! Evil or Very Mad
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Timbo

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Age : 42
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2015-01-18

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:59 am

Teehee Wiz. 

So glad I made my last move, got away from an anal retentive OCD landlord and painful agent, though it cost me a grand more than expected. Love the new place and garden is great so look for the positives as in everything. 

Cheers 

Tim
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Carlos
Admin
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Age : 60
Location : Chestnut, IL
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Sat Jun 17, 2017 9:11 am

WAITAMINUTE! 15 miles away. Maybe an extra 5 min to work. Tell me again WHY y'all are moving? Granted, when I lived and worked in Lincoln the drive across town was great. But the reality of life came along and I found myself commuting 45 miles each way and later reduced that some. But mostly 26 miles each way.

I do not help anyone move. NO! Not gonna happen! I hate moving. It's like a phobia. Probably goes back to my childhood. I had to move where I am now. Marriage does that to you. But getting me out of here is going to take drastic action on someone's part.

_________________


"Never turn your back on a Breen".
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Mon Jun 19, 2017 11:31 am

Carlos wrote:
WAITAMINUTE!  15 miles away.  Maybe an extra 5 min to work.  Tell me again WHY y'all are moving?

Square footage, nicer house, better scenery. To be fair to the missus, we live in a house that my brother and I inherited from our mother (we bought his half from him as we were just married and looking for a home and he was just entering that "early 20s, I want to live in an apartment with friends" phase). It's a nice place, but very much a "starter home" (whatever the hell that means). She's never felt "at home" because she'd moved into a house that had been "home" to me for the better part of 25 years.

The move has nothing to do with convenience, and everything to do with us (ok, mostly - but not entirely - her) wanting to make a change.
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Ozark Wizard

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Age : 53
Location : Mark Twain National Forest, MO
Registration date : 2014-10-11

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Mon Jun 19, 2017 3:05 pm

The good, or should I say, one good thing about this move is that she will not feel overshadowed by your years of history in the old place, perhaps a bit of feeling like a guest in her own house. This may actually improve your relationship, because it will afford you both a sense of nesting in your own home, as a couple. Placement of personals and furniture, etc, will be fresh. Like starting with a fresh canvas, rather than painting over one that already has work on it.

Very exciting. New dynamic. Solid glue for your future together!

Fabulous!
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idbowman

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Age : 35
Location : Painesville, OH
Registration date : 2011-12-19

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:08 pm

Update:

So, it's been a busy month-and-a-half (or more) getting everything in place, but we're finally coming down the home stretch. We're scheduled to close next Tuesday, and should have the keys to the new place by Friday/Saturday.

Then comes the fun part - actually moving. We're using movers for the big stuff - furniture, etc., but will be handling most of the personal possessions, ourselves. Fortunately, I've been the guy who was always nice enough to help friends move in the past, so I'm calling in a few of those favors to get this thing off the ground. My brother is buying and moving into our current home, and he's not inclined to rush the process so at least we're not under the gun to vacate immediately.

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Ian hauling everything he owns across town. It'll be worth it when it's done (basement remodel for a smoking room is already planned and scheduled for the spring).
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Fazby

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Age : 60
Location : Chicago area
Registration date : 2010-04-22

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Thu Aug 10, 2017 6:08 pm

Purge before you move, not after. Just make sure you both know, and agree upon, what is being jettisoned.

To charity, not just the landfill!
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Brewdude

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Age : 65
Location : Near the Emerald city
Registration date : 2011-05-04

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Thu Aug 10, 2017 7:08 pm

Fazby wrote:
Purge before you move, not after.  Just make sure you both know, and agree upon, what is being jettisoned.

To charity, not just the landfill!

Yes, this. Now's the time to downsize if you can. Why move it again just to put it in storage indefinitely. When I move again (for the last time) I plan to go minimalistic. It's amazing how much stuff acquires over the years that's totally superfluous!

Best wishes in your move Ian. Never a great time.


Cheers,

RR
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Timbo

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Age : 42
Location : Australia
Registration date : 2015-01-18

PostSubject: Re: It had to happen eventually   Thu Aug 10, 2017 7:10 pm

Amen to that Fazby, great advice. Thought I'd purged prior to my last move. Nope, still giving away and getting rid of crap. 

Cheers,

Tim
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