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 "Man Cave" Envy

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wesbarber

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Age : 35
Location : Houston, TX
Registration date : 2009-11-29

PostSubject: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:26 am

All this talk of the "man cave" all over the place. I've got a man cave of sorts. I've got my own room with all my guitar/music stuff in it. There is a small spot for the wife to do her knitting and reading but she never goes in there. I can't smoke in there though, nor anywhere else in the house. That's a bummer. I did sneak a bowl in the room one time though and loved every minute of it. I usually find myself in the garage or on the back porch. It's not a bad deal being outside but I never experienced as good a smoke in those places as I did the one night in that room. Outside, the smoke just wafts away unless you're standing in the right spot. And then the smoke rings don't seem to last as long.

Everything but smoking in my man cave...bollocks! I'm goin out for a smoke... Wink
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puros_bran
Nightrider
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:42 am

Utter nonsense..

Smoke in there..

If she says anything
Calmly, kindly, in a non confrontational manner explain to her that you intend to continue smoking in there. Then be done with it. Don't argue, fuss,fight,whine,or crybaby, but Do smoke in there if you wish.

Man up bro.
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hillikus



Registration date : 2009-01-20

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:37 am

I've been planning on finishing my basement now for a few months and decided it was a good place to build my "man cave". While discussing my plans for the basement the other night I proposed that my wife's "indoor smoking ban" be lifted strictly in my man cave and to my utter surprise the ballot was approved unanimously. Of course it was conditional that I use it in moderation and that we look into some sort of air purifier. This works for me since I use my pipes in moderation anyways. Baby steps are steps none the less.

I didn't ask and I didn't demand, simply brought it up in a discussion and you see the outcome. "You'll gather more bee's with honey..." you know the rest.

Of course I am also building her "woman hive"(sounded appropriate) where she can do her sewing/knitting and whatnot. These will be two separate rooms so that is one difference to your situation. I also have no garage or porch (yet) to use.

-H
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Bub

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Registration date : 2007-12-15

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:39 am

We are all indebted to PB because his advice has helped so many younger couples get started on the right track and saved numerous marriages.
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Carlos
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Age : 60
Location : Chestnut, IL
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:01 am

Ummm.....I think I will count my blessings and not risk what I have. "whimper"

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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:18 am

Bub wrote:
We are all indebted to PB because his advice has helped so many younger couples get started on the right track and saved numerous marriages.

I think I'll go live over at PB's house when the wifey kicks me out after taking his advice. pale
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:40 am

Women Like Men, try it sometime, I'm sure she will freak you out when she actually starts respecting you instead of snickering at all the crap she pulls on you with her friends. You aint gotta be an ass but you do gotta be a man.
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:53 am

You wanna see a cute blonde turn into DEVIL WOMAN, try lighting up in the house (call me a milk toaster if you want tongue )(been there, done that, ain't going back). She has an Asthma card up her sleeve as well as a "think about the children" card.
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Anthony

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Age : 32
Location : Denver Colorado
Registration date : 2009-11-02

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:23 pm

puros_bran wrote:
Women Like Men, try it sometime, I'm sure she will freak you out when she actually starts respecting you instead of snickering at all the crap she pulls on you with her friends. You aint gotta be an ass but you do gotta be a man.

She'll never admit it but they like it when you're authoritative. It's how they're designed. ;]
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the macdonald

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Age : 42
Location : Windsor CT
Registration date : 2008-08-31

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 12:25 pm

EJinVA wrote:
You wanna see a cute blonde turn into DEVIL WOMAN, try lighting up in the house (call me a milk toaster if you want tongue )(been there, done that, ain't going back). She has an Asthma card up her sleeve as well as a "think about the children" card.

That is a tough situation EJ, but I'm with PB, a firm, resolute, but not rude hand works wonders. Also, starting from day one of the relationship helps alot, or you may need to pick up, "The Art of War," and replace "the enemy" with "the girlfriend."
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 1:32 pm

I was this close (holding forefinger 1/8" from thumb) to coming back with some smart ass reply for you boys but have decided to refrain at this juncture.
However, I reserve the right to reapply it at a later time.
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Puffy

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Age : 75
Location : North Carolina
Registration date : 2007-12-23

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:00 pm

I've smoked in the house all these years with very little hassle from my other half unless I smoke something unusually stinky.When we moved to a new house four years ago we ended up with an extra room which I use as a smoking room.I have a chair,tv,a table ,and some shelves that I keep smoking stuff on.There's a closet that I've put shelves in to store tobacco on.I have an air purifier on the table.Maybe I'm just lucky but,I'm pretty well set as far as a smoking area goes.
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Carlos
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Age : 60
Location : Chestnut, IL
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:48 pm

I will just be tough in the basement hamshack. Very Happy All I have to do down here is mention crickets and she beats a quick retreat.

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Justpipes
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Location : Randolph County, NC If you don't know, you wouldn't understand.
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:32 pm

Carlos wrote:
I will just be tough in the basement hamshack. Very Happy All I have to do down here is mention crickets and she beats a quick retreat.

Especially Camel Crickets! Laughing Laughing Laughing

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mark
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Registration date : 2008-07-02

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 5:43 pm

Just noticing the BS in here is getting higher than the snow banks outside,,, lol!
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DoverPipes

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Age : 49
Location : HUDSON VALLEY NY
Registration date : 2009-05-24

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:12 pm

Justpipes wrote:
Carlos wrote:
I will just be tough in the basement hamshack. Very Happy All I have to do down here is mention crickets and she beats a quick retreat.

Especially Camel Crickets! Laughing Laughing Laughing


mmmmmm........tastes like chicken! Laughing
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Winslow

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Age : 71
Location : Midlothian,Va.
Registration date : 2008-04-11

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:15 pm

mark wrote:
Just noticing the BS in here is getting higher than the snow banks outside,,, lol!

I've been bullshitted by experts and these boys in here are not experts,
it is the Irish who are experts,they are born to it. Smile

Winslow sunny
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Justpipes
The Duke
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Age : 58
Location : Randolph County, NC If you don't know, you wouldn't understand.
Registration date : 2007-12-17

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Thu Jan 07, 2010 11:21 pm

Winslow wrote:


I've been bullshitted by experts and these boys in here are not experts,
it is the Irish who are experts,they are born to it. Smile

Winslow sunny

PB ain't Irish!
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wesbarber

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Age : 35
Location : Houston, TX
Registration date : 2009-11-29

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:13 am

The spouse, religion, and politics stir up the stuff for sure!

So far a happy marriage, going on 8 years this March. I'm not about to screw it up. I've taken my stand on many points but there are some things I've just got to give in for. You win some, you lose some. She's worth losing to. I don't get outside near enough anyway. Vitamin D and all that jazz... Cool

She has some sort of complete disinterest in the pipe smoking. It's one of these "I'm happy YOU'RE happy" kind of things. She's cool that I take part but she wants absolutely nothing to do with it. And she doesn't even like the smell of tobacco. Crazy woman, I say.

Right now I'm working on some Peterson Gold Blend. So far it's great. Maybe if I found something a little more aromatic she wouldn't have such a dislike for it. Gold Blend is not so bad to begin with though. My dad was having a bowl of it on New Years Eve and it was a pleasure to stand next to him. Smelled wonderful!

I think it's the ashy after smell that bugs her. The smokey clothes and such. Also, there is a smoke alarm right outside the door of the room and it's also right next to the kids rooms. Bad news if that thing goes off during bed times and then it's just a hassle to have to disarm it every time I'd want a smoke.
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SmokeyTweed

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Age : 34
Location : Edmonton, Alberta
Registration date : 2008-10-13

PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 2:00 am

Well i would agree with PB on this one but i have been watching a lot of Mad Men lately...

My problem is that i live with my cousin and its hard to tell another man that i'm gonna smoke in his house, considering he was a man and put his foot down early. He does have a nice porch though.
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 9:35 am

All Bullshit aside,,,
One reason I don't "put my foot down" and smoke in the house is because I care for my wife. She used to be a chain smoker, multiple packs a day, she quit before she met me, and when we met I didnt smoke that much, I was in one of those between phases with an occasional cigarette or stogie or an occasional bowl in the Dr. Grabow. She does suffer from asthma, probably damage from all those years of chain smoking, and smoke & dust can set it off. Sometimes when opening the woodstove it will back draft slightly and send a puff of smoke into the house, causing her to go off on a coughing fit.
I have a workshop I built a couple years ago, one purpose of this shop is my man cave, it's the place I can go and close off the world and smoke, drink and tinker while listening to whatever the hell I want too. Only problem is heat on cold days like it is now, it's uninsulated and I just have a couple of small space heaters. Future plans are to insulate it and set up a spare wood stove in it. Then on cold days-no problemo. I've even thought about running a wire from my antenna in there so I can watch TV.
My wife and I are coming up on our tenth anniversary and are still learning the others ways, still figuring out what space to give way to the other. If a few of you guys have wives/girlfriends which allow you to smoke in her house, well thats great, I envy you. I (& many others here) don't so what? Does that make any of us less a man?
If thats the standard you use for manhood then I feel for you, and your ladies.
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Justpipes
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Location : Randolph County, NC If you don't know, you wouldn't understand.
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 10:49 am

EJinVA wrote:
All Bullshit aside,,,
One reason I don't "put my foot down" and smoke in the house is because I care for my wife. She used to be a chain smoker, multiple packs a day, she quit before she met me, and when we met I didnt smoke that much, I was in one of those between phases with an occasional cigarette or stogie or an occasional bowl in the Dr. Grabow. She does suffer from asthma, probably damage from all those years of chain smoking, and smoke & dust can set it off. Sometimes when opening the woodstove it will back draft slightly and send a puff of smoke into the house, causing her to go off on a coughing fit.
I have a workshop I built a couple years ago, one purpose of this shop is my man cave, it's the place I can go and close off the world and smoke, drink and tinker while listening to whatever the hell I want too. Only problem is heat on cold days like it is now, it's uninsulated and I just have a couple of small space heaters. Future plans are to insulate it and set up a spare wood stove in it. Then on cold days-no problemo. I've even thought about running a wire from my antenna in there so I can watch TV.
My wife and I are coming up on our tenth anniversary and are still learning the others ways, still figuring out what space to give way to the other. If a few of you guys have wives/girlfriends which allow you to smoke in her house, well thats great, I envy you. I (& many others here) don't so what? Does that make any of us less a man?
If thats the standard you use for manhood then I feel for you, and your ladies.

Very well said EJ! I quoted it just to make sure some of the guys get a double opportunity to read it! Thanks!
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:39 am

LOL..Pantywaste.


In all seriousness though. I don't dictate to my wife what she can and can't do, she doesn't dictate to me what I can and can't do. Those who think thats marriage are wrong. We have a contract, offered before God and man, that we will love and honor each other (I'm sure I'm missing some of the crap we said, but that pretty well covers the jist of it) Love and Honor doesn't leave space for Ordering me to do something. Love and Honor doesn't leave space for me to Order her to do something. EJ, That you take her medical condition and former addiction into your consideration before you act is Love and Honor. My wife smokes her Marlboro Ultra lights in the house when I'm not home, (I can smell it) but she doesn't when I'm home (unless I'm smoking a pipe).. I've never told her not to, I've never asked her not to, I've never suggested anything on the topic. She's a full grown woman capable of making her own choices....

The truth is I don't smoke much in the house, or outside either, the majority of my piping takes place in the truck (before you weiners cry hypocrite, I spend 5-6 days a week in my truck) but when I'm home and want to smoke I smoke. We had friends over for a bit on New Years, the man in the couple doesn't smoke, guess what??? I didn't smoke. Not because I was told I couldn't but because I can offer up that respect, but I promise if I had been told I couldn't smoke I would have puffed like a freight train.

Sure you could argue that a man ought to love his wife enough not to smoke in THEIR home (it isn't his or hers, it's Theirs and if there is any other way to look at it, it really aint a marriage) and I would agree.. If he knew that it bothered her and he sit there blowing smoke rings in her face he probably doesn't love her to much, but by the same token if she is growling and prowling about what he does she probably doesn't love him to much...

Back on the original topic: I say tell her in a firm and loving manner that you will smoke in that room when you see fit, and be done with it. Now if you choose to not smoke in that room for consideration to her, the children, the smoke detectors, or what ever reason thats cool, but don't let someone think they have a right to tell you what to do in your home, that aint in the marriage contract unless you did non traditional vows that included, "To Obey as a mindless slave in all matters she deems"... Smoke in that room if you want to, you supposed to be a man.
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 11:53 am

I'm glad you clarified your position PB, I was about to quote some stuff I membered from the Bible to ya, but now it's apparrent that I don't need too Very Happy .
The problem is, there is no room connected to the house that I could set aside for a smoking room, maybe in about 12 years when we boot out the kiddies. It's also an old drafty farm house so smoke waifts all through it. No, I'm content to keep my workshop as my smoking parlor, and I'll eventually install insulation and that wood stove (hopefully this year) to make it more comfortable.
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Dock
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PostSubject: Re: "Man Cave" Envy   Fri Jan 08, 2010 12:18 pm

I've yet to meet a woman that I'd give up my life for. Guess that's why I'm unmarried and plan to be for sometime. If a woman I'm seeing frowns upon my smoking she's quickly dumped and just as easily replaced. Sorry to sound harsh but that's the way it is for me. I work too hard to be told what to do by anyone Twisted Evil


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