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 News Report from the Veritas News Bureau

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NeroWolfe

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Location : Southwest United States
Registration date : 2009-07-29

PostSubject: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:01 pm

29 February 2010
Santa Arnoldi, California
Veritas News Bureau

This evening at 8:21 PM, Professor Ashton Dunhill became the first person arrested under the “no carry” law recently enacted by the California Legislature. Professor Dunhill was taken down by a heavily armed SWAT team as he entered a local Charbucks store to purchase his customary evening cappuccino. As witnesses reported, a bystander on the street had called 911 when he saw Professor Dunhill emerge from his car with a smoking pipe (albeit unlit) inserted into a pipe holster on his belt. As proscribed by the California law (the so-called “no carry” law), any person caught carrying a pipe in a belt holster in a public place would be subject to immediate arrest, a mandatory fine of $ 10,000 and a 90 day jail sentence in solitary confinement. As soon as the SWAT team saw Professor Dunhill enter the Charbucks they moved into action. Women were heard to be screaming, and children crying, as one of the patrons in Charbucks, Mr. Potbelly Courouge screamed, “PIPE ! PIPE! PIPE!”.

Mr. Courouge, in an exclusive interview with the Veritas News Bureau, expressed pleasure in helping to “take down one of those pipe nuts”. Mr. Courouge was proudly wearing twin 44 magnum pistols in a leather belt and holsters while in the Charbucks, benefiting from California law and a recent decision by the well-known coffee chain that allows patrons to openly carry firearms in their shops. Professor Dunhill is expected to be arraigned in Superior Court tomorrow at 10:00 AM. He is reportedly married, has three children, and is a local youth organization volunteer.

Santa Arnoldi College, Professor Dunhill’s employer, also issued a statement: “ We are disgusted by Professor Dunhill’s behavior, and he is herby terminated from his position with the College.” In a separate announcement, Santa Arnoldi College indicated that in order to comply with a recent U.S. Supreme Court ruling, it would restrict students from carrying more than three firearms at any one time while on the College campus.

(Reporting by Nero Holmes, Veritas News Bureau)
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puros_bran
Nightrider
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:12 pm

Cute. But.... Its not about guns, pipes & cigars, cigs, alcohol, sugar, cocaine, or any other inanimate object.. It IS about controlling a fellow human beings actions. Tyranny is tyranny regardless of who is being tyrannized!
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paddy-boy

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Age : 39
Location : Birmingham, AL
Registration date : 2009-01-28

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 12:14 pm

puros_bran wrote:
Cute. But.... Its not about guns, pipes & cigars, cigs, alcohol, sugar, cocaine, or any other inanimate object.. It IS about controlling a fellow human beings actions. Tyranny is tyranny regardless of who is being tyrannized!
Werd
It is all about control.
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babysinister

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Age : 70
Registration date : 2009-05-09

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 3:53 pm

The news item forgot to mention that the good professor was remanded after his 90-day jail sentence to a "re-education" gulag, Shutter Island, where recalcitrant smokers are sent to treat them for their malady. This is all for the children.
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Real Leroy Mercer

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Age : 55
Location : Corryton, TN other side a Maynardville
Registration date : 2007-12-30

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 5:41 pm

If'n it is about control just what is you Pelosi lov'n flat footer's prepared to do about it???!!!

Vote fer a commie again and then run round sav'n face by say'n ya just were try'n to stir tha pot caus'n ya hated Bush!
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pipetongue1
Tobacco Hoarder At Large
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Age : 72
Location : Abington, Mass.
Registration date : 2007-12-14

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 6:40 pm

Leroy thought you died and were buried in the facist trash heap!Ken tongue
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Hermit

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Age : 64
Location : Ascension Parish
Registration date : 2008-04-22

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 7:17 pm

I believe there's an exemption for weed and crack pipes. Twisted Evil
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sstodvictory

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Age : 64
Location : SE Michigan
Registration date : 2009-12-05

PostSubject: Re: News Report from the Veritas News Bureau   Mon Mar 01, 2010 8:27 pm

The regulation of tobacco products has been transferred to the FDA. Obama's proposed 2011 budget includes $215 MM in new "user fees" to be used by the FDA to ramp up tobacco regulation. See page 21 of this budget summary.

http://budget.house.gov/pres_budgets/fy2011/02.04.2010-full_summary_pres_budg.pdf

There is much more to come from the control freaks.

Steve
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