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 Learning to be a housewife..

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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:32 pm

It's turned out it is far easier than i originally thought...

Start the day around 9-9:30ish..
lay in bed for a while, finally dragging yourself to the bathroom when you can't hold it any longer..
Then its off to the lazyboy. Watch some netflix, check your twitter and your fantasy football team.. maybe get up and get some coffee.. but only if the ashtray is over flowing..
Long about 12:20 you get up.. scatter some papers and stuff around so it looks messier than it really is, then cook some hotdogs..
As she eats her hot dogs you tell her how crappy the day has went, pay extra mind to fuss about the mess...
pretend to have been cleaning all morning, matter of fact % minutes before she heads back to work slavishly 'get at it'.. (groan and puff and fuss alot while doing it, Its miserable hard work)..
Finally she's gone.. now you can finish watching the episode of Weeds she interupted, grab a pipe while your up though, no sense wasting a good standing up...
Settle back in until its time to get the kids...
Then whn you get the lil brats drag 'em home and make them "clean up their mess"..
By the time she gets home they should be finish ..
make sure your having the epic "homework" struggle when she walks in, no sense letting her know the kids are smarter than both of you...
Suggest she take you to dinner, you have been slaving all day and really shouldn't have to cook and clean again.. Laughing



The kicker??? She knows the bs stunt your pulling, she used to pull it and can't call you on it without outing herself... SWEET!!!
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PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:42 pm

Brilliant PB!!!!!!
Thanks for the tip man! lol! lol! lol!
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Irene Adler
That Woman
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Age : 30
Location : Berkeley, California
Registration date : 2008-11-25

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:45 pm

Hahahahaha. I wish....
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:51 pm

Wait until he gets in school.... you'll see.
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Slow Puffs
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Age : 68
Location : Alberta. Canada
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 2:55 pm

Been there, tried that Mad

Now I'm paying for two cleaning ladies who come in every two weeks.... there goes the TAD budget Sad
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Puff Daddy
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Age : 53
Location : South of heaven
Registration date : 2007-12-09

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 3:08 pm

I dunno, guess it depends on the wife. I come home and the house is immaculate. I mean it's freakin clean! Of course, she keeps it that way for the most part, all day long chasing after the messes that the little monsters make (those little buggers are fast!). I look around every day, all laundry is clean and folded, the floors are clean, the bathroom's clean, everything, spotless. Now, I've been home plenty to know that it doesn't take long at all for things to get all messed up, I saw it myself when I was home 5 months after my surgery. Personally, I'd rather go to work, staying home cleaning is too much labor!

Everyone's idea of what's clean or what passes for clean must be different, but I know my wife busts her ass to keep our place clean. But she's kinda anal retentive about being a clean freak and jumps up at the first sight of a speck of dust. Maybe your wife's smarter and has a good system, or maybe she's got a cabana boy coming in cleaning for her while she's watching netflix (check your credit card bills, cabanaboys.com Laughing ).

If only I could teach her to cook..... That's a whole different story Mad

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bruins

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Age : 48
Location : the heartland
Registration date : 2010-08-25

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 3:10 pm

the problem is, you may have done a lot of work pb, but you didn't do it right. just ask her!
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PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 3:13 pm

I blew it a long time ago, thats why I HAVE A FULL TIME NANNY!!!!!!!!!!
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puros_bran
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Location : Brandenburg, Ky
Registration date : 2007-12-10

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 5:14 pm

I would Bruins, but she's busy cooking my dinner after my hard day of laboring around the house.. Twisted Evil Twisted Evil
I was told to "just sit down and relax a few minutes."
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beebiz

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Age : 57
Location : McKenzie, Tennessee
Registration date : 2010-09-12

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 6:32 pm

Piet Binsbergen wrote:
I blew it a long time ago, thats why I HAVE A FULL TIME NANNY!!!!!!!!!!
........... Is the "nanny" for you... or, her????? lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:30 pm

beebiz wrote:
Piet Binsbergen wrote:
I blew it a long time ago, thats why I HAVE A FULL TIME NANNY!!!!!!!!!!
........... Is the "nanny" for you... or, her????? lol!

Yeah.... I wondered why he capitalized that, really emphasised the I........ lol!
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PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 9:48 pm

Rereading PB's original post laughing, thinking of him in that hat from his avatar with an apron on, and a feather duster in his hand telling his wife how hard he has it. Very Happy
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mark
Admin
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Registration date : 2008-07-02

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Mon Sep 27, 2010 10:02 pm

gotta splash a little water on the face just before they walk in to imitate sweat,,,,whine at them to rub your feet,,,,

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LL

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Location : KCMO
Registration date : 2007-12-29

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Tue Sep 28, 2010 12:40 am

Yeah, yeah... Five dollah sez PB's better half would chuck him pipe-less (and with a sore ass) onto the porch if she ever saw this thread. PB might be an ex-Army infantryman who eats 80,000 pound trucks for breakfast, but 120 pounds of blue eyed wildcat will prevail every time. Twisted Evil
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PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Tue Sep 28, 2010 1:48 am

EJinVA wrote:
beebiz wrote:
Piet Binsbergen wrote:
I blew it a long time ago, thats why I HAVE A FULL TIME NANNY!!!!!!!!!!
........... Is the "nanny" for you... or, her????? lol!

Yeah.... I wondered why he capitalized that, really emphasised the I........ lol!

For me man......... nudge,nudge, wink,wink!!!
She really comes in handy when the wife is away on business..................... ha!
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beebiz

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Age : 57
Location : McKenzie, Tennessee
Registration date : 2010-09-12

PostSubject: Re: Learning to be a housewife..   Tue Sep 28, 2010 2:19 am

Piet Binsbergen wrote:
EJinVA wrote:
beebiz wrote:
Piet Binsbergen wrote:
I blew it a long time ago, thats why I HAVE A FULL TIME NANNY!!!!!!!!!!
........... Is the "nanny" for you... or, her????? lol!

Yeah.... I wondered why he capitalized that, really emphasised the I........ lol!

For me man......... nudge,nudge, wink,wink!!!
She really comes in handy when the wife is away on business..................... ha!

Oh my goodness, brother Piet!! We are a tad bit the stinker, aren't we???

lol! lol! lol! lol! lol!
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