Slow Puffs
Resident Sportscaster
Age : 59
Joined : 10 Dec 2007
Posts : 1721
Location : Alberta. Canada
 |  Subject: Beer Theories  Tue Apr 08, 2008 2:55 pm | |
| Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
-- Ernest Hemingway
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Paul Hornung
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H.L. Mencken
When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!
-- George Bernard Shaw
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry
Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.
-- W.C. Fields
Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.
-- Professor Irwin Corey
To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!
-- Leo Durocher
One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
-- Cliff Clavin
 Paul
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"Manny changing the attitude in the clubhouse. It's like hearing that Pope Benedict XVI had 'em rolling in the aisles with his stand-up routine at the Vatican." -Dan Shaughnessy |
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Ol'Dawg
Age : 62
Joined : 03 Jan 2008
Posts : 383
Location : Northeast Georgia
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Fri Apr 11, 2008 5:59 pm | |
| A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a Year.
That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.
Kind Of Makes Me Proud To Be American.
--------------------------------------------
Voted best beer commercial- (2005)
http://www.zippyvideos.com/6944922662696006/votedbestbeercommercialoftheyear/
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Pipe Nebula |
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Justpipes
The Duke
Age : 49
Joined : 17 Dec 2007
Posts : 2465
Location : American by birth, Southern by the grace of God!
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue Apr 15, 2008 12:55 pm | |
| That is some good stuff Paul and Jim!
I really like the statistic on miles per gallon of beer!
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Natch
Age : 57
Joined : 21 Dec 2007
Posts : 157
Location : foothills of the Ozarks
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Fri May 16, 2008 12:13 am | |
| Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour,
teach him to brew and he wastes a lifetime.
On the back of my favorite t-shirt I got at a home/micro brewing festival in Seattle a while back.
Natch |
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Slow Puffs
Resident Sportscaster
Age : 59
Joined : 10 Dec 2007
Posts : 1721
Location : Alberta. Canada
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Thu May 22, 2008 5:52 pm | |
| Another reason...
| Quote: | SCC quashes man's suit over fly in bottled water
Updated Thu. May. 22 2008 12:03 PM ET
CTV.ca News Staff
The Windsor, Ont. man who sued for six digits in compensation after finding a fly in his bottled water, has lost his case.
The Supreme Court of Canada voted unanimously on Thursday to dismiss Martin Mustapha's appeal, and ruled he must pay the costs for the water company he took to court.
Mustapha and his wife found the dead fly, then later found half of another fly, in a large water bottle delivered to their home.
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_________________
"Manny changing the attitude in the clubhouse. It's like hearing that Pope Benedict XVI had 'em rolling in the aisles with his stand-up routine at the Vatican." -Dan Shaughnessy |
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Ol'Dawg
Age : 62
Joined : 03 Jan 2008
Posts : 383
Location : Northeast Georgia
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Thu May 22, 2008 7:38 pm | |
| An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman are sitting at a bar and each ordered a pint of beer. As thier beers arrive 3 flies land, one in each beer. The Englishman pushes his beer away and demands another one. The Irishman flicks the fly out with his finger and proceeds to gulp the beer down. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and holds it over the glass and says "Spit it out dammit!"
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Pipe Nebula |
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hazmat
Age : 34
Joined : 11 Dec 2007
Posts : 255
Location : Harrisburg, PA
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Fri May 23, 2008 9:26 am | |
| Oh god I'm cryin here!!  |
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ftrplt
Age : 62
Joined : 15 Dec 2007
Posts : 311
Location : Split between Raleigh, NC and OKC, OK
| | Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue May 27, 2008 10:50 pm | |
| I believe that everyone should believe in something!!!!!
I believe I'll have another beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
A fighter pilot is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By damn I've tried it many times and haven't fallen off yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FTRPLT |
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