Beer Theories

Subject: Beer Theories Tue Apr 08, 2008 11:55 am

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Babe Ruth

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

-- Ernest Hemingway

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

-- Paul Hornung

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.

-- H.L. Mencken

When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

-- George Bernard Shaw

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

-- Benjamin Franklin

Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

-- Dave Barry

Beer: helping ugly people have sex since 3000 b.c.

-- W.C. Fields

Remember "I" before "E", except in Budweiser.

-- Professor Irwin Corey

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." Salvation in a can!

-- Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm. "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine! That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

-- Cliff Clavin

Very Happy

Paul
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Subject: Re: Beer Theories Fri Apr 11, 2008 2:59 pm

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a Year.

That means, on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind Of Makes Me Proud To Be American.
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http://www.zippyvideos.com/6944922662696006/votedbestbeercommercialoftheyear/
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Not all rainbows end in a pot of gold.

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue Apr 15, 2008 9:55 am

That is some good stuff Paul and Jim!

I really like the statistic on miles per gallon of beer!
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"Man is the only religious animal. In the holy task of smoothing his brother's path to the happiness of Heaven, he has turned the globe into a graveyard."

Mark Twain

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Thu May 15, 2008 9:13 pm

Give a man a beer and he wastes an hour,
teach him to brew and he wastes a lifetime.

On the back of my favorite t-shirt I got at a home/micro brewing festival in Seattle a while back.

Natch

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Thu May 22, 2008 2:52 pm

Another reason...

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Thu May 22, 2008 4:38 pm

An Irishman, Scotsman and Englishman are sitting at a bar and each ordered a pint of beer. As thier beers arrive 3 flies land, one in each beer. The Englishman pushes his beer away and demands another one. The Irishman flicks the fly out with his finger and proceeds to gulp the beer down. The Scotsman picks up the fly by the wings and holds it over the glass and says "Spit it out dammit!"
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Not all rainbows end in a pot of gold.

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Fri May 23, 2008 6:26 am

Oh god I'm cryin here!! lol!

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue May 27, 2008 7:50 pm

I believe that everyone should believe in something!!!!!

I believe I'll have another beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A fighter pilot is never drunk as long as he can hold on to one blade of grass and not fall off the face of the earth!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! By damn I've tried it many times and haven't fallen off yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FTRPLT

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Mon Oct 13, 2008 5:00 pm

I believe it was Dean Martin who officially nailed the excuse to keep drinking,

"I feel sorry for those who don't drink because the second they wake up is the best their gonna feel all day."

Also Jesus turned water into wine, he didn't turn water into Gatorade. Think about it.

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue Oct 14, 2008 6:36 am

The Bible says:
Give Beer to those who are perishing,
wine to those who are in anguish;
let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.
(Proverbs 31:6-7)
Amen! cheers

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May the smoke from your pipe rise up as an offering to the Great Spirit.

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Tue Oct 14, 2008 8:53 am

Story goes that Winston Churchill was at a dinner party and over the course of time became quite drunk. The lady sitting next to him says..."Mr. Churchill, you are disgustingly drunk." To which Churchill replies..."And you, Madam are disgustingly ugly!! However, in the morning I shall be sober and you, Madam, shall still be ugly!" FTRPLT

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Wed Oct 15, 2008 10:54 am

“Common sense is for commoners, and I happen to be a royal asshole.”
Unidentified patron fending off a bartender’s query of “Do your think another shot is sensible?” at the Squire Lounge.

Winslow sunny

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"Pipes are occasionally of extraordinary interest," said he. "Nothing has more individuality, save perhaps watches and bootlaces."

Subject: Re: Beer Theories Wed Oct 15, 2008 11:02 am