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 the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?

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Zeno Marx

Zeno Marx

Registration date : 2010-06-26

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PostSubject: the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?   the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? EmptySun Aug 04, 2019 7:38 pm

The more I deal with older folk (I'm not young myself), the more I realize how interesting (read: irritating and frustrating) it can be when someone is aware of a deficiency, yet they never seem to acknowledge the consequences of it. People who know they can't hear well, yet they very declaratively, and firmly, say things like "It's not that loud." or "I can't hear it. It's just fine." Or when in coherent moments of onset dementia, don't acknowledge maybe they did something in one of their incoherent moments.

"Who moved this?!"

"You did."

"I did not."

"You must have moved it the other day after we were talking about organizing that area."

Dead silence. Now, they know they don't remember well, yet when they are remembering well and are fulling present, they never seem to fall back on the possibility that when they weren't remember well, they did it. It was them.

Does anyone know what that phenomenon is called? Is there a name for it in dementia culture? Is there a term other than Stubborn Old Person Syndrome with Zero Capacity for Self-Awareness?

Now that I'm clearly aware of this, I sure hope I don't fall into that state until I'm fully in a state of no memory.

ps- I also find that these people are completely unapologetic. That's the icing on this tasty cake.
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Corncobcon

Corncobcon

Age : 70
Location : From the prarie of KS. to Lake of the Ozarks, MO.
Registration date : 2017-10-15

the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? Empty
PostSubject: Re: the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?   the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? EmptySun Aug 04, 2019 10:53 pm

My Mother had dementia which turned into alzheimers. Google dementia and find out all about it. It's very debilitating, especially when the person affected by it totally denies having it. You need to help the person as much as possible and don't get upset or mad at them, no matter what they do. Getting them to accept it or accept care, or a caregiver is almost impossible for some.

When my Mother was in the last days and in a home, my son and I visited on her birthday. She acted surprised but didn't know what day it was. She also kept calling me by my dad's name and my son by my name. From that point on, it just got worse. My mother was always a little bit wacky and I never thought much of it, so after 9 years of caring for her, a big relief was lifted off my shoulders when she passed. The best thing to do is console them and make them as comfortable as can be. My heart goes out to those with this and to the caregivers also.
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Stick

Stick

Age : 50
Location : 'Blighty'
Registration date : 2014-02-19

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PostSubject: Re: the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?   the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? EmptyMon Aug 05, 2019 4:00 am

Although v interested in the field, I’m no psychologist, but I think what you have described here is not limited to those with degenerative diseases.

In my experience, defensive / stubborn behaviours are often the cause of relationship breakdowns and conflict where the issue becomes more about WHO is right and not WHAT is right. When I’ve lacked a resourceful mindset I’ve trod this path myself... still do when on occasions I’m being a dick and it’s always been to my embarrassment. Luckily for me I have a v tolerant and resilient wife.
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Zeno Marx

Zeno Marx

Registration date : 2010-06-26

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PostSubject: Re: the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?   the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? EmptyMon Aug 05, 2019 1:32 pm

Corncobcon wrote:
My Mother had dementia which turned into alzheimers. Google dementia and find out all about it. It's very debilitating, especially when the person affected by it totally denies having it. You need to help the person as much as possible and don't get upset or mad at them, no matter what they do. Getting them to accept it or accept care, or a caregiver is almost impossible for some.

When my Mother was in the last days and in a home, my son and I visited on her birthday. She acted surprised but didn't know what day it was. She also kept calling me by my dad's name and my son by my name. From that point on, it just got worse. My mother was always a little bit wacky and I never thought much of it, so after 9 years of caring for her, a big relief was lifted off my shoulders when she passed. The best thing to do is console them and make them as comfortable as can be. My heart goes out to those with this and to the caregivers also.
I have experience with Alzheimer's. A hereditary deal. Also worked with people with both developmental disabilities and/or mental illness. There's ALWAYS room for more empathy and patience, but I don't feel I'm too lacking in those areas.

I want to be clear: I'm not talking when a person is completely within the disease. I'm talking early on, and before, they no longer have coherent and lucid capacity. When they're still more outside the disease than within it.

As Stick said, this is more widespread than just with illness or aging. However, if aging includes the evaporation of self-awareness, the inability or unwillingness to apologize, and the feeling of entitlement to be a bull in a china shop as one is closer to the end than not...add all those things that are ugly about getting old.

Not to have an unreasonable expectation of people facing the end, but we all know it is coming. Every single one of us. To become antisocial, defensive/aggressive beings seems avoidable with some preparation and focus on self-awareness. As a culture, we're not so great at either preparation or self-awareness, but I can think of things far less worthy of our time and effort.
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huffelpuff

huffelpuff

Age : 50
Location : Laramie, WY
Registration date : 2011-12-10

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PostSubject: Re: the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common?   the onset of dementia and hard of hearing in common? EmptyThu Aug 08, 2019 9:31 pm

I have to admit I see this quite a lot. I never really thought about newspaper demographics until I took up delivering the paper for something to do. The vast majority of newspaper subscribers are quite old. Some of the requests I have gotten rank from the bazzar to downright crazy. You simply shake your head do as requested and wait for the complaint that comes along with "where would you get a darn fool idea like that!" I tend to refer to it as grumpy old bastard syndrome. I feel for those that deal with this on a daily basis. I also remember my grandfather with dementia beating the orderlies with his cane because they were "dirty injuns there to rape the white women" He grew up in the Kansas territory when the Comanche we're still conducting raids so..... I definitely know how bad it can get. I've also seen the denial of the problem. Not just from the patient but other family members as well. Its sad.

Jim
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