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Harlock999

Harlock999

Location : Los Angeles
Registration date : 2010-10-22

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySat May 21, 2011 10:27 am

Ah, darkness! Beautiful and painful. I won't ask if real life informed this one, but it's good to see another one from you, thank you!
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun May 22, 2011 9:37 am

Lol I'm happy to say it's half and half, some of the emotions felt real enough when writing it, hate that feeling, but hey never mind. Cheers brother, needs a bit of work on it I suppose but glad if you liked it!
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Two for the price of one   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun May 29, 2011 2:46 pm

1. I stand here a soldier, alone amongst my friends, trembling heads about me, all dreaming of their ends, a goal before was mentioned of taking that black hill, and the end of digging your flag in if you find you're standing still. My courage burns inside me as it fights the tremors back, a bloodthirsty scream erupts from my mouth as the sergeant roars 'Attack!'

2. Oh Master of the Admiralty, let your good ships go, head only for the shore now, end this moving to and fro. Declare your amicable intentions unto the solid ground, and try not to let your heart sink when a homestead you have found.
Your freedom taken from you? The end of liberty? How uncharitable the land is when compared to the endless sea. No white waves here are foaming, with destruction on their minds, nor is the sacred truth is believed in, that providence is blind.
A man's sacred dominion, finds root in just one place, what then could I offer you? for that warmth you can't replace?
Freedom is illusory whether water born or founded, and time’s passing ceaselessly, leaves every man dumbfounded. So cast of your armour now and join the common man, those souls who have been suffering, since time's cruel reign began. You showed us by example just what a man may be, but you fooled even yourself, with your false sagacity.
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun Jul 03, 2011 8:30 am

Love, the heart aches, the mind bleeds, the eyes swell and one's hopes and aspirations swell to the size of stanley's great spear. My tender heart beats with fervent longing to live that life sardonic authors describe with scorn and to embody those roles old men have written of, from fond memories of being their younger selves. An overwhelming blotch of red, inescapable and all encircling, my mind would reel from joyousness, I would give my right arm, if she would love me without the sight of it
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Harlock999

Harlock999

Location : Los Angeles
Registration date : 2010-10-22

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun Jul 03, 2011 10:29 am

PipedJimmy wrote:
...embody those roles old men have written of, from fond memories of being their younger selves.

I like this, and I really like the line above. Emotions are so intense when felt in youth.
Thanks.


Last edited by Harlock999 on Sun Jul 03, 2011 4:17 pm; edited 1 time in total
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MisterE
Moderator
MisterE

Location : Mexico City
Registration date : 2009-08-24

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun Jul 03, 2011 1:00 pm

PipedJimmy wrote:
Hmm this on's a little darker....


You say you love me still…but your lips they hide a lie, for there's a trembling in my heart that no false words can belie.
I stand here legs quivering, almost on bended knee, my body ready for breaking, no belief can set it free. I feel that sense of choking, as breath tightens in my chest, that if my heart gives up in hoping, there is no life left for the rest
I beg you now, I mean it, do not let this truth turn real! but ever hide it in your mind, place it under guarded seal, and I'll just keep pretending, just like the happy fool, blinded to what the truth is, for verity’s what’s cruel.
You feel so sorry for me, you’re so sorry it can’t be me, all these words I read as your lips speak as they move untruthfully. You sensed my love and took it, though I was still unsure, and now you look upon me like a child you can't ignore, a loathsome little creature with no light left in its life, it would be more merciful wouldn’t it to brandish symbolic knife.
I've picked up your taste for loathing and I’ve clutched it to my breast, for if you hate me truly I'll come in a second-best ,but I'm lying now you see it, as I do sink on bended knee, I beg you please, I beg you, don't ever set me free

Ouch!!

Good though! Thanks!! cheers cheers
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

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PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptyTue Jul 05, 2011 8:16 am

You're welcome Harlock, I hope you enjoy reading 'em, indeed emotions do feel very strong when felt in youth, I have no hesitation in saying I felt them significantly thought this one was a little better than the last two, need to hone my skills more!

And MisterE lol yeah, that one was a bastard to write, I don't think it's very good, but it hurt a bit, I appreciate the empathy : )
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: If you like it lads   A poem - Page 3 EmptyMon Jul 25, 2011 7:33 pm

You mock me little twinkle and have done since my birth, as I gaze up at you in wonder, from my home upon the hearth. You promised oh so much to me in by-gone days of yore, when I spent the hours so merrily, when just sat upon the floor. Listening with wild rapture to those tales that are always told, by those fervent life-school teachers who are shamelessly so bold, “Nothing is impossible!”, “Just wish, and it will be done!” - I sit here now asunder, just fragmented from the one. You cast bright light, hope to me, when I bedecked in blue did crawl, as a man I stare in wonder, at that black, entombing shawl. Shine, and you surrounded, will always treasure be, whilst I here just another, in this dark and lonely sea.
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 11:22 am

Death grasped me by the shoulder, with a grip felt cool yet firm, I can't deny I was tempted by those comforts of his terms; no more of black to deal with, save that heavy bed above, no more impassioned duellings, with that painfully elusive love, no more late night wonderings, mind turning from side to side, no more of standing strong, alone! and fighting against the tide, no more - 'boy, please tell me, tell me truly do, what could I do for you dear son, to make things dear to you?' - Just leave me here forgotten, as one not brave enough, one of those unsavable! Just made from feeble stuff and I alone shall journey, a sheathed skeleton by my side, beyond those joyless boundaries, that keep me in my mind, all this I seemed to say, as my eyes they lingered dead, though in surprise to that sunken face, I coolly shook my head.
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Harlock999

Harlock999

Location : Los Angeles
Registration date : 2010-10-22

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptySun Aug 21, 2011 11:34 am

PipedJimmy wrote:
Death grasped me by the shoulder, with a grip felt cool yet firm, I can't deny I was tempted by those comforts of his terms... though in surprise to that sunken face, I coolly shook my head.

study Hey Jimmy, more great stuff! Do you plan on writing a book, or putting a collection together, or maybe you've already done so?
Anyway, glad to see you survived the riots...
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PipedJimmy

PipedJimmy

Age : 34
Location : London, England
Registration date : 2009-02-10

A poem - Page 3 Empty
PostSubject: Re: A poem   A poem - Page 3 EmptyMon Aug 22, 2011 10:12 am

Hey Harlock, I'd love to, just need to get enough of them together that are worth publishing really, I've been reading through my little archive and I've seen some good things but I think I still need quite a bit of work to get published, thank you as always for your kind comments brother! : )
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