“Mister, are you aware that there’s a body on your trunk?”

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Hermit

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http://www.foxnews.com/auto/2017/05/24/couple-drives-14-miles-with-drunk-on-their-trunk.html

A Tennessee couple got the surprise of their life when a police car pulled them over on a Memphis highway.

They hadn’t been speeding, or even driving erratically, and at first they couldn’t believe what the officer told them.

“Mister, are you aware that there’s a body on your trunk?”

He wasn’t dead, but he was dead drunk. Turns out he’d been lying there for 14 miles.


The driver, Carl Webb, told Fox 13 that he and his wife had left the Barbecue Fest in downtown Memphis last Thursday night and got into their Ford Taurus, which was backed up against a wall and had a sunshade on the rear window that was stuck closed, making it difficult to see out the back.

Incredibly, the unconscious, unidentified man stayed perched on the 14-inch wide trunk lid at speeds of up to 65 mph without falling off. Webb credits the tiny lip spoiler on the edge of the trunk for holding the intoxicated passenger in place.

When he was finally roused, the man nearly stumbled into traffic before the officer grabbed him.

"I hope he takes a good look at where he put himself and the hazard that he had open up to himself. It would've been death," Webb said.
 
Add this to the loooong list of stories of drunks who've put themselves in acute peril and somehow emerged unscathed. God loves drunks. Well He must. What else explains this survivalist phenomenon? I've had a cop explain to me that drunks are more likely to survive a car crash, because they're more relaxed than a sober person. Well, he's seen enough of them to have a credible theory.
 
How do you drive 14 miles with a man on your trunk? Being a cop is like being a moron wrangler. Think of it as herding cattle. No offense to cattle, many of whom are clearly superior to these imbeciles.

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