Briarbabe
Well-known member
- Joined
- Jul 30, 2013
- Messages
- 684
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tl,dr; I'm still here, life has basically thrown up on me and I'm trying to dig my way out. I'm tired, cranky, and I miss you all.
I miss you all terribly and think about you quite a bit, my life has not been conducive to being online for recreation lately though. It seems the proverbial poop has hit the fan.
I have been running an in home daycare for the last year and just barely scraping by, it's not a good situation at all. Recently one of my daycare families (a close friend) told me that they would not be able to afford daycare much longer and will be pulling their kids from daycare in the beginning of February. I've been looking to add more daycare kids to my program for an entire year and it's been a constant headache. The area is flooded with childcare. I am barely scraping by as it is now and that's $720 of income a month gone come February. I am now racing to find a job after being out of the work force to raise a family for the past five years. I also need to find a more affordable place to live.
One of my two sweethearts (yes, I have two, everyone is aware of each other, I'm selfish, adulthood yo!) offered to let me rent their house from them and it would be cheaper and better for my family in so many ways, but I am hesitant because of the relationship attached to it. A lot of you may remember when I first joined up here, my boyfriend and I broke up shortly there after. Well, apparently I should have dumped him much sooner because for some reason we fell more in love and became better friends and are closer now than we ever were while actually dating and he and I have something incredibly special that's grown out of our break up and continues to grow. He's just a good man and we both have very specific things we want in a relationship and without going into great detail, what we have just works. He's incredibly protective of me and is always looking out for me and my kids, despite not wanting kids himself. So, while his offer is beyond generous and he'd be a much better landlord than my current one, I am still very hesitant to do this. I may have to take him up on his offer for a few months at the very least. For now though, his offer takes some of the stress off of me.
I feel like I'm racing against time here and time is winning. I know myself. I'm resourceful, hard, and a survivor. I will land on my feet even if I brake my ankles doing it!
I found out I have some health issues that require further testing to make sure it's not cancer and unfortunately I don't have the money out of pocket to pay for those tests and I have been calling charity after charity and applying for medical assistance and basically I fall into that #$^%$&@%$% doughnut hole where I make just enough money to be ineligible for government assistance and yet I'm still pretty much impoverished. Apparently to get help from the government you have to quit trying/working altogether and just become a welfare queen and well, pardon my french but fuck that noise, I will never give up working for this family. I'll figure this out too damn it.
My kindergartner has been struggling since day one in kindergarten with behavior issues and I've known I was staring at an ADHD diagnosis since this kids 3rd birthday. I am getting no where with the school and it's all "We need your support as a parent!", and they have it, but they have no plan and seem to expect me to come up with one. Well, I can't sit next to him in class all day and I have no idea how that class room operates, so guess what, Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher, you need to come up with one and yes, I will support it. We had his follow up doctor's appt. this morning and we are going to try the meds. I have been incredibly hesitant to start down this path, but I have been assured by many parents as well as folks who formerly took meds, that he's going to be okay and this is most likely going to be a very, very good thing. The sweetheart who has offered to rent me his home is used to take ADD meds and he is the most responsible, mellow, laid back man I've ever met in my life. Apart from him having a tick (a rather interesting and fascinating one to boot!) he has no lasting side effects. He did warn me my picky eater is about to get a whole lot pickier. ::sigh::
My wee littlest guy is going in to have his speech tested as it seems he's behind and struggling. I'm not worried, he's born from a long line of kids who talk too damn much. He'll figure it out.
I'm helping the teenager get into college and signed up for financial aid as much as I can and I thank my lucky stars that she's an incredibly responsible and brilliant young woman as she's taken a lot of this upon herself to do and wow, just wow. I'm so proud of her. (Holy run on sentence Batman!)
And then there's mom. She's still working a full time job and her chemo symptoms have cleared up almost completely. She is however experiencing debilitating pain in her stomach from time to time and wasn't telling her doctors about it. Despite everyone in the family telling her to go to the doctors she wouldn't listen until her acupuncturist told her to go, now! Well that finally lit a fire under her butt. (Can you hear my eyes roll?) At first they thought it was her gal bladder, but no it's actually HER LIVER! You know? Where she has CANCER? Her liver enzymes are up and it's inflamed and apparently some of the lesions and tiny tumors are bursting and causing the pain. She keeps insisting that her scans and blood work are ok and that not much has changed. Well that's not bad, but it's not good either. I flat out asked if I could call her oncologist and her "other" doctors to get an update on her and she told me no. I'm really beginning to wonder if she isn't leaving details out. She's lost weight and she feels good though so that's what's important. Even if it just means she feels good until the cancer really gets a hold of her. Whatever, it's her choice and she's happy with it and apparently feels good even though the cancer is still there and is unresponsive to the "alternative therapies" she's trying. I love her. She's my mom. I'm going to support her.
We are getting ready to head up to spend the week of Christmas through New Year's day with my mom and dad and it's going to be insane because my aunt is coming up with her daughter and her daughter's husband and they decided to bring her daughter's in laws up as well. Seriously? I just...what the...why are people so dumb? So I have no idea who these people are, but they're spending Christmas with us and I'm just having a hard time with it because lets face it I have no idea how many more Christmas's I have with my mom or what shape she's going to be in for them and I'm having a hard time typing this without dropping the f-bomb. Anyway! The other sweetheart (the one who let me shoot his handguns) has expressed an interest in meeting my parents, especially with mom having cancer so he's coming up to spend New Year's eve with us and the house will be cleared out by then and it should be nice.
So yeah, been a little busy lately. I have a wonderful "family" down here in PA that I hand picked myself and two wonderful men in my life who are probably better to me than they deserveP). This is tough, but I've got good people in my life. To those of you who have popped on to send me a PM checking in on me, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I can not tell you all just how much this community means to me and the love and support you give. The moments that I do get to be on here abate some of the stress and I just means a great deal to me. Thank you BoB'ers. I'm still here, I'm still fighting the universe tooth and nail, and the universe is still winning, but damn it, I ain't done fighting, not by a long shot!
(Also, if you actually read all of this you deserve a medal, some fine aged tobacco, and a bottle of good single malt scotch.)
I miss you all terribly and think about you quite a bit, my life has not been conducive to being online for recreation lately though. It seems the proverbial poop has hit the fan.
I have been running an in home daycare for the last year and just barely scraping by, it's not a good situation at all. Recently one of my daycare families (a close friend) told me that they would not be able to afford daycare much longer and will be pulling their kids from daycare in the beginning of February. I've been looking to add more daycare kids to my program for an entire year and it's been a constant headache. The area is flooded with childcare. I am barely scraping by as it is now and that's $720 of income a month gone come February. I am now racing to find a job after being out of the work force to raise a family for the past five years. I also need to find a more affordable place to live.
One of my two sweethearts (yes, I have two, everyone is aware of each other, I'm selfish, adulthood yo!) offered to let me rent their house from them and it would be cheaper and better for my family in so many ways, but I am hesitant because of the relationship attached to it. A lot of you may remember when I first joined up here, my boyfriend and I broke up shortly there after. Well, apparently I should have dumped him much sooner because for some reason we fell more in love and became better friends and are closer now than we ever were while actually dating and he and I have something incredibly special that's grown out of our break up and continues to grow. He's just a good man and we both have very specific things we want in a relationship and without going into great detail, what we have just works. He's incredibly protective of me and is always looking out for me and my kids, despite not wanting kids himself. So, while his offer is beyond generous and he'd be a much better landlord than my current one, I am still very hesitant to do this. I may have to take him up on his offer for a few months at the very least. For now though, his offer takes some of the stress off of me.
I feel like I'm racing against time here and time is winning. I know myself. I'm resourceful, hard, and a survivor. I will land on my feet even if I brake my ankles doing it!
I found out I have some health issues that require further testing to make sure it's not cancer and unfortunately I don't have the money out of pocket to pay for those tests and I have been calling charity after charity and applying for medical assistance and basically I fall into that #$^%$&@%$% doughnut hole where I make just enough money to be ineligible for government assistance and yet I'm still pretty much impoverished. Apparently to get help from the government you have to quit trying/working altogether and just become a welfare queen and well, pardon my french but fuck that noise, I will never give up working for this family. I'll figure this out too damn it.
My kindergartner has been struggling since day one in kindergarten with behavior issues and I've known I was staring at an ADHD diagnosis since this kids 3rd birthday. I am getting no where with the school and it's all "We need your support as a parent!", and they have it, but they have no plan and seem to expect me to come up with one. Well, I can't sit next to him in class all day and I have no idea how that class room operates, so guess what, Mrs. Kindergarten Teacher, you need to come up with one and yes, I will support it. We had his follow up doctor's appt. this morning and we are going to try the meds. I have been incredibly hesitant to start down this path, but I have been assured by many parents as well as folks who formerly took meds, that he's going to be okay and this is most likely going to be a very, very good thing. The sweetheart who has offered to rent me his home is used to take ADD meds and he is the most responsible, mellow, laid back man I've ever met in my life. Apart from him having a tick (a rather interesting and fascinating one to boot!) he has no lasting side effects. He did warn me my picky eater is about to get a whole lot pickier. ::sigh::
My wee littlest guy is going in to have his speech tested as it seems he's behind and struggling. I'm not worried, he's born from a long line of kids who talk too damn much. He'll figure it out.
I'm helping the teenager get into college and signed up for financial aid as much as I can and I thank my lucky stars that she's an incredibly responsible and brilliant young woman as she's taken a lot of this upon herself to do and wow, just wow. I'm so proud of her. (Holy run on sentence Batman!)
And then there's mom. She's still working a full time job and her chemo symptoms have cleared up almost completely. She is however experiencing debilitating pain in her stomach from time to time and wasn't telling her doctors about it. Despite everyone in the family telling her to go to the doctors she wouldn't listen until her acupuncturist told her to go, now! Well that finally lit a fire under her butt. (Can you hear my eyes roll?) At first they thought it was her gal bladder, but no it's actually HER LIVER! You know? Where she has CANCER? Her liver enzymes are up and it's inflamed and apparently some of the lesions and tiny tumors are bursting and causing the pain. She keeps insisting that her scans and blood work are ok and that not much has changed. Well that's not bad, but it's not good either. I flat out asked if I could call her oncologist and her "other" doctors to get an update on her and she told me no. I'm really beginning to wonder if she isn't leaving details out. She's lost weight and she feels good though so that's what's important. Even if it just means she feels good until the cancer really gets a hold of her. Whatever, it's her choice and she's happy with it and apparently feels good even though the cancer is still there and is unresponsive to the "alternative therapies" she's trying. I love her. She's my mom. I'm going to support her.
We are getting ready to head up to spend the week of Christmas through New Year's day with my mom and dad and it's going to be insane because my aunt is coming up with her daughter and her daughter's husband and they decided to bring her daughter's in laws up as well. Seriously? I just...what the...why are people so dumb? So I have no idea who these people are, but they're spending Christmas with us and I'm just having a hard time with it because lets face it I have no idea how many more Christmas's I have with my mom or what shape she's going to be in for them and I'm having a hard time typing this without dropping the f-bomb. Anyway! The other sweetheart (the one who let me shoot his handguns) has expressed an interest in meeting my parents, especially with mom having cancer so he's coming up to spend New Year's eve with us and the house will be cleared out by then and it should be nice.
So yeah, been a little busy lately. I have a wonderful "family" down here in PA that I hand picked myself and two wonderful men in my life who are probably better to me than they deserve
P). This is tough, but I've got good people in my life. To those of you who have popped on to send me a PM checking in on me, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you! I can not tell you all just how much this community means to me and the love and support you give. The moments that I do get to be on here abate some of the stress and I just means a great deal to me. Thank you BoB'ers. I'm still here, I'm still fighting the universe tooth and nail, and the universe is still winning, but damn it, I ain't done fighting, not by a long shot! (Also, if you actually read all of this you deserve a medal, some fine aged tobacco, and a bottle of good single malt scotch.)
