Trout Bum
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- Sep 11, 2008
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Howdy, fellas. Haven't posted in a while, mainly due to the fact that I am in MASSIVE PAIN. I hate to admit this, but I am a 41-year-old longboarder. NOT skate boarder; those are little toys for kids. My longboard is over three feet long with over-sized trucks and wheels -- I regularly carve hills at fairly high speeds. We call it “surfing the concrete wave,” as it is surprisingly similar. It is incredibly fun and very addictive! By the way, prior to this, I have never wrecked, not even once, and always wear a helmet. Funny, but I had been contemplating posting some pics up on the board here, me on my longboard with a big Danish free-hand hanging out of my pie hole, ripping it up while puffing on some Bayou Morning...
Two weeks ago, I was cruising around the neighborhood, just two blocks from my house, the ocean was about a 1/4 mile away, the sun's rays reflecting magenta and marmalade hues off the ebbing tide... a perfect evening for shredding some hills. So, on this last hill that takes me right down to the ocean, I carved five or six nice turns, then pointed the board straight down to ride out the last part, just like I always do. Well, right when I pointed it, a HUGE industrial grade tow truck pulled out right into my path. It was so big, I initially thought it was a fire truck. This was at 8:30 in a residential neighborhood, by the way.
At any rate, this hill features an intersection, with a stop sign that I always just blow through. (The road to the right is a very short dead end... there are almost never any cars, and if there are, there is plenty of room to just go far right or far left) So, there I am at Mach speed, and this guy sees me, freaks, and just stops dead in the middle of the intersection. At the exact moment that I committed to carving hard left, he stops dead! I thought for a moment I was going to make it on a hard back side carve, but his vehicle was just too long. I slammed into him going at least 25, and broke my arm just below the shoulder ball joint. Luckily I did not put my hand out or I probably would have shattered my whole arm. Instead, at the last second, I instinctively hunched down and drove into the side of his truck, shoulder first. I smashed into him, bounced off, then rolled/skipped like four or five times to a stop. My friend saw the whole thing and said it was absolutely spectacular. (I rarely do anything half-assed.) A true freak accident/classic case of wrong place-wrong time. Maybe it was bad juju, or some kind of a voodoo hex... Lots of road rash, a moderate amount of blood, lots of pain. The driver drove me home, apologizing profusely the whole way. Pretty much my fault, though his stopping in the middle of the intersection did not help matters. If he had just continued, I would have carved a sweet lefty and easily avoided him. Alas...
Long story short: the wife and in-laws were not too sympathetic, as we have an 18 month old daughter that everyone helps out with. And now I am pretty much useless and need help with the simplest of tasks, let alone being capable of one handed diaper duty. Now Grandma has to babysit a toddler AND a fully grown man who moans and groans with the smallest of micro movements. I have a black and purple bruise on the outside of my left thigh that is fairly ghastly. My arm is full of fluids and sickly yellow. Two positive notes: lots of cool scabs, and the neighbor's kids think i am super radical...
I can only now sorta kinda pull my pants up on my own. I am pleasantly surprised that I can type this; shows improvement! I just barely dodged surgery, and luckily, the bones are completely aligned, so I just have to wear an arm sling brace thing for six weeks. Nights are the worst; I can't lie flat, and any movement is excruciating.
So, other than looking for some sympathy, I am just filling you guys in on the latest. Worst part: not only is this stressful for me and everyone else, but I am missing the best trout fishing of the year right now -- AHHGG!!
Yours in all things righteous and risky and wickedly fun,
TB
Lesson Learned: Always have a spotter, no matter what!!
Two weeks ago, I was cruising around the neighborhood, just two blocks from my house, the ocean was about a 1/4 mile away, the sun's rays reflecting magenta and marmalade hues off the ebbing tide... a perfect evening for shredding some hills. So, on this last hill that takes me right down to the ocean, I carved five or six nice turns, then pointed the board straight down to ride out the last part, just like I always do. Well, right when I pointed it, a HUGE industrial grade tow truck pulled out right into my path. It was so big, I initially thought it was a fire truck. This was at 8:30 in a residential neighborhood, by the way.
At any rate, this hill features an intersection, with a stop sign that I always just blow through. (The road to the right is a very short dead end... there are almost never any cars, and if there are, there is plenty of room to just go far right or far left) So, there I am at Mach speed, and this guy sees me, freaks, and just stops dead in the middle of the intersection. At the exact moment that I committed to carving hard left, he stops dead! I thought for a moment I was going to make it on a hard back side carve, but his vehicle was just too long. I slammed into him going at least 25, and broke my arm just below the shoulder ball joint. Luckily I did not put my hand out or I probably would have shattered my whole arm. Instead, at the last second, I instinctively hunched down and drove into the side of his truck, shoulder first. I smashed into him, bounced off, then rolled/skipped like four or five times to a stop. My friend saw the whole thing and said it was absolutely spectacular. (I rarely do anything half-assed.) A true freak accident/classic case of wrong place-wrong time. Maybe it was bad juju, or some kind of a voodoo hex... Lots of road rash, a moderate amount of blood, lots of pain. The driver drove me home, apologizing profusely the whole way. Pretty much my fault, though his stopping in the middle of the intersection did not help matters. If he had just continued, I would have carved a sweet lefty and easily avoided him. Alas...
Long story short: the wife and in-laws were not too sympathetic, as we have an 18 month old daughter that everyone helps out with. And now I am pretty much useless and need help with the simplest of tasks, let alone being capable of one handed diaper duty. Now Grandma has to babysit a toddler AND a fully grown man who moans and groans with the smallest of micro movements. I have a black and purple bruise on the outside of my left thigh that is fairly ghastly. My arm is full of fluids and sickly yellow. Two positive notes: lots of cool scabs, and the neighbor's kids think i am super radical...
I can only now sorta kinda pull my pants up on my own. I am pleasantly surprised that I can type this; shows improvement! I just barely dodged surgery, and luckily, the bones are completely aligned, so I just have to wear an arm sling brace thing for six weeks. Nights are the worst; I can't lie flat, and any movement is excruciating.
So, other than looking for some sympathy, I am just filling you guys in on the latest. Worst part: not only is this stressful for me and everyone else, but I am missing the best trout fishing of the year right now -- AHHGG!!
Yours in all things righteous and risky and wickedly fun,
TB
Lesson Learned: Always have a spotter, no matter what!!
