Briar Spirit
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- Joined
- Aug 30, 2012
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I have no idea how to ask this of my much loved Brothers and Sisters of BoB, Walt suggested I ask you guys for your help in getting me moving forward properly in my Briar Spirit Pipe Project, to be honest I feel like I am not worthy of such kindness, I love you guys here so dearly and I know you would help me out if you could with smaller things but this is not so small, how does one go about asking for help, I just don't know.
Can I start with telling you what the Briar Spirit Pipe Project is about, this much I am comfortable with so I shall lose myself in that for a moment. Due to my own personal past I have lived a life of self loathing with a sense of personal worthlessness, this is a state forced upon me by the actions of people through my life, I have been forced to believe I am of no worth and have nothing to offer any one, it is not a state of being that is easy to live with. I quite recently discovered I am able to make pipes, not wonderfully right now of course but they are okay, the thing is I found myself connecting with the creative process on a level I thought myself incapable of, suddenly I found myself in a place I didn't recognise nor understand, before me was a physical object that I had created and it wasn't half bad, I felt something deep inside of me 'awakening', it felt uncomfortable at first but I had to accept the reality of it all, despite what abusers through my life had taught me to believe, I can do something good, I am not worthless or useless, I can 'DO' something I knew I couldn't do, I created something with my own two hands, suddenly I saw something in myself I thought impossible, I'm an Artist, a fledgling yes but I 'made something', I broke a lifelong habit of self loathing, those people were wrong and I wanted more of this feeling of self worth, so I tried making a second pipe, as I was working away this thing inside of me was stirring again, I found myself liking who I was as I worked, of course this ended as soon as I realised I had finished the creation, I sank back into doubting myself again.
Slowly but surely an idea began to form, would it be so crazy for me to become a pipe maker, yes, that was the thing of it, I could be beside my inner self more often, liking who I am for more intervals, but then a realisation struck home, I have no way of raising money to buy the tools, machinery and materials I would need to make this happen. So what if I could get it going, what would I want to do with the pipes I made, I knew immediately I didn't want to try to sell them for lots of money, that idea just made me feel horrible inside, the idea of turning my sense of self into something as base as a money making thing really upset me, this was a problem. So I had a great idea, why not make pipes and charge 'cost' plus a small amount on top to build up a small supply of stock and materials, I knew pipe collectors wouldn't want my pipes but there is a lot of folk in my situation who enjoy smoking a pipe but have little or no money, there was 'who' I wanted my pipes to go to, in time I would be able to make beautiful pipes and make them available to folk like myself for very little money, now this made my heart soar, ah yes, but how to start!
I had to start some where and had no money at all, the only things I had of any value at all were my late Brother's Army stuff, the idea of selling them cut so deeply I actually cried just thinking of it, I miss him so dearly. Well, I had to make a decision, sell it or forget the idea entirely, time to be a man and stop crying like a baby I said to myself. One of our neighbours knows this chap who loves Army stuff, I spoke to him and he asked his friend if he was interested, my Brothers gear was worth thousands of pounds, it was his collection of medals, de-commissioned guns, swords, 9 boxes of 'stuff' and Army clothing of all sorts, this chap pegged me instantly for being desperate, he offered me £300, I asked if he couldn't go a little higher, he started to walk away saying the old classic 'take it or leave, means nothing to me mate', with heavy and saddened heart I said I would take his offer.
Now to me £300 was like a small fortune in my hand, I was such a fool I thought it would get me to where I needed to go, all it got me was 8 pipe kits, 2 of which had holes in the tobacco chamber so the chap refunded me for two of them, so this left me with 6 pipe kits, no tools, no drill press no nothing else, just 6 pipe kits. I have two chaps who have paid me slightly more than I would have asked for the pipes I am to make, one of them I am working on today, the other is yet to be worked upon, another pipe I made a stupid error bending the stem and this has left me with a pipe I do not feel comfortable with trying to sell. As you can see, my brilliant idea has kind of turned around and kicked me in the bottom.
Walt contacted me and asked if there was anything he and my Brothers here on BoB could do to help me, I said of course, I need help in sourcing the tools a drill press and a bulk of Briar and acrylic stem rod but I told him I felt this was too much to. ask. Walt suggested I ask my Brothers and Sisters here on BoB to see if any of you would be willing to help me get my BSP Project under way. I have no idea how I am supposed to do this so I have opted to tell you guys where I was coming from and what my Project was about, well I have done that bit, so here I am with the bit that makes me feel awkward and and more than a little scared so I shall just say it and hope no one explodes at me, can my Brothers and Sisters here on BoB help me to get this Project under way?
To the BoB Team, if this is not okay to ask then know I will understand your deleting this topic and in such an eventuality know that I am sorry for offending any one.
My paypal email addy: cubbydawg AT live DOT co DOT uk
Can I start with telling you what the Briar Spirit Pipe Project is about, this much I am comfortable with so I shall lose myself in that for a moment. Due to my own personal past I have lived a life of self loathing with a sense of personal worthlessness, this is a state forced upon me by the actions of people through my life, I have been forced to believe I am of no worth and have nothing to offer any one, it is not a state of being that is easy to live with. I quite recently discovered I am able to make pipes, not wonderfully right now of course but they are okay, the thing is I found myself connecting with the creative process on a level I thought myself incapable of, suddenly I found myself in a place I didn't recognise nor understand, before me was a physical object that I had created and it wasn't half bad, I felt something deep inside of me 'awakening', it felt uncomfortable at first but I had to accept the reality of it all, despite what abusers through my life had taught me to believe, I can do something good, I am not worthless or useless, I can 'DO' something I knew I couldn't do, I created something with my own two hands, suddenly I saw something in myself I thought impossible, I'm an Artist, a fledgling yes but I 'made something', I broke a lifelong habit of self loathing, those people were wrong and I wanted more of this feeling of self worth, so I tried making a second pipe, as I was working away this thing inside of me was stirring again, I found myself liking who I was as I worked, of course this ended as soon as I realised I had finished the creation, I sank back into doubting myself again.
Slowly but surely an idea began to form, would it be so crazy for me to become a pipe maker, yes, that was the thing of it, I could be beside my inner self more often, liking who I am for more intervals, but then a realisation struck home, I have no way of raising money to buy the tools, machinery and materials I would need to make this happen. So what if I could get it going, what would I want to do with the pipes I made, I knew immediately I didn't want to try to sell them for lots of money, that idea just made me feel horrible inside, the idea of turning my sense of self into something as base as a money making thing really upset me, this was a problem. So I had a great idea, why not make pipes and charge 'cost' plus a small amount on top to build up a small supply of stock and materials, I knew pipe collectors wouldn't want my pipes but there is a lot of folk in my situation who enjoy smoking a pipe but have little or no money, there was 'who' I wanted my pipes to go to, in time I would be able to make beautiful pipes and make them available to folk like myself for very little money, now this made my heart soar, ah yes, but how to start!
I had to start some where and had no money at all, the only things I had of any value at all were my late Brother's Army stuff, the idea of selling them cut so deeply I actually cried just thinking of it, I miss him so dearly. Well, I had to make a decision, sell it or forget the idea entirely, time to be a man and stop crying like a baby I said to myself. One of our neighbours knows this chap who loves Army stuff, I spoke to him and he asked his friend if he was interested, my Brothers gear was worth thousands of pounds, it was his collection of medals, de-commissioned guns, swords, 9 boxes of 'stuff' and Army clothing of all sorts, this chap pegged me instantly for being desperate, he offered me £300, I asked if he couldn't go a little higher, he started to walk away saying the old classic 'take it or leave, means nothing to me mate', with heavy and saddened heart I said I would take his offer.
Now to me £300 was like a small fortune in my hand, I was such a fool I thought it would get me to where I needed to go, all it got me was 8 pipe kits, 2 of which had holes in the tobacco chamber so the chap refunded me for two of them, so this left me with 6 pipe kits, no tools, no drill press no nothing else, just 6 pipe kits. I have two chaps who have paid me slightly more than I would have asked for the pipes I am to make, one of them I am working on today, the other is yet to be worked upon, another pipe I made a stupid error bending the stem and this has left me with a pipe I do not feel comfortable with trying to sell. As you can see, my brilliant idea has kind of turned around and kicked me in the bottom.
Walt contacted me and asked if there was anything he and my Brothers here on BoB could do to help me, I said of course, I need help in sourcing the tools a drill press and a bulk of Briar and acrylic stem rod but I told him I felt this was too much to. ask. Walt suggested I ask my Brothers and Sisters here on BoB to see if any of you would be willing to help me get my BSP Project under way. I have no idea how I am supposed to do this so I have opted to tell you guys where I was coming from and what my Project was about, well I have done that bit, so here I am with the bit that makes me feel awkward and and more than a little scared so I shall just say it and hope no one explodes at me, can my Brothers and Sisters here on BoB help me to get this Project under way?
To the BoB Team, if this is not okay to ask then know I will understand your deleting this topic and in such an eventuality know that I am sorry for offending any one.
My paypal email addy: cubbydawg AT live DOT co DOT uk
