Thistleoak
Well-known member
- Joined
- Aug 14, 2012
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To tell the bloodcurdling tale of how Zach almost killed me tonight I must first tell a tale from my youth... When I was in highschool, I drank alot!!!! Sour Mash was my drink of choice, that is until my friend decided to pass out in my full size bronco with an open fifth of Jack on a hot August night spilling the fifth... no not spilling... hosing the interior of my bronco down with sour mash, which proceeded to bake in with the summer heat! I drove that thing for a year after that will the windows down even in the dead of winter because I would want to spew every time I got in it... Moral of this story is to this day I can drink anything..... but sour mash!
Fast forward to tonight
I had just extracted my sweet revenge on Zach for the whole Black XX by tricking him into smoking a bowl of GH Dark Flake U/S ( his facial expressions are priceless I have pics, PM me if you want to see them!!!!) I was thinking "Hey... I got him, we are even!!!!" Then we decided to christen the spittoon I gave him with some rope chewing bacca.... Now I grew up gnawing on straight plug and Levi Garrett, I can handle my chew... so we hack off a big plug for each of us and commence to chewing and hitting the spittoon from across the porch, that is until Zach disappeared for a minute, and came back with a shot glass full of an amber liquid " here this is some of Michelle's whiskey, I wanna see you do a shot" he then says with a grin on his face..... I could smell the damn sour mash from 10 ft away and my stomach started to churn.... "Zach I told you brother.... I cant do sour mash.... it will kill me" I said.... "Oh come on dont be a pansy!" was the reply. being a gracious guest ( or a damn fool ) I took said shot of sour mash and threw it down the hatch.... At this point in time my body decided to to quite a few things at once ( slow motion matrix style) first my throat said "To hell with this" and closed sending the sour mash into my sinus cavity and out my nose, while at the same time allowing me to swallow the plug of tobacco.... while I also simultaneously coughed, grunted, sneezed, farted and almost peed a little! Zach then looks at me and said " OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR A PERSON TO DO THAT MANY BODILY FUNCTIONS AT ONCE!!!!!" We both loose it at this point and laugh till our sides are splitting and tears are streaming down our faces... I was even with him for about two minutes!!!! now he is ahead again! Not only is he one of my best friends but also a worthy adversary... Brothers.... What is the gnarliest tobacco spawned by the earth mother and processed by man???? Please PM me with the name and site I can order it off of, along with creative ways I can sneak it into zachs pipe.... He's my best friend and I love him to death.... BUT ITS ON!!!!!!!!!!!! :twisted:
P.S. I was laughing so hard I was in tears again while typing this out.... it was seriously hysterical tonight!
Fast forward to tonight
I had just extracted my sweet revenge on Zach for the whole Black XX by tricking him into smoking a bowl of GH Dark Flake U/S ( his facial expressions are priceless I have pics, PM me if you want to see them!!!!) I was thinking "Hey... I got him, we are even!!!!" Then we decided to christen the spittoon I gave him with some rope chewing bacca.... Now I grew up gnawing on straight plug and Levi Garrett, I can handle my chew... so we hack off a big plug for each of us and commence to chewing and hitting the spittoon from across the porch, that is until Zach disappeared for a minute, and came back with a shot glass full of an amber liquid " here this is some of Michelle's whiskey, I wanna see you do a shot" he then says with a grin on his face..... I could smell the damn sour mash from 10 ft away and my stomach started to churn.... "Zach I told you brother.... I cant do sour mash.... it will kill me" I said.... "Oh come on dont be a pansy!" was the reply. being a gracious guest ( or a damn fool ) I took said shot of sour mash and threw it down the hatch.... At this point in time my body decided to to quite a few things at once ( slow motion matrix style) first my throat said "To hell with this" and closed sending the sour mash into my sinus cavity and out my nose, while at the same time allowing me to swallow the plug of tobacco.... while I also simultaneously coughed, grunted, sneezed, farted and almost peed a little! Zach then looks at me and said " OH MY GOD, I DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE FOR A PERSON TO DO THAT MANY BODILY FUNCTIONS AT ONCE!!!!!" We both loose it at this point and laugh till our sides are splitting and tears are streaming down our faces... I was even with him for about two minutes!!!! now he is ahead again! Not only is he one of my best friends but also a worthy adversary... Brothers.... What is the gnarliest tobacco spawned by the earth mother and processed by man???? Please PM me with the name and site I can order it off of, along with creative ways I can sneak it into zachs pipe.... He's my best friend and I love him to death.... BUT ITS ON!!!!!!!!!!!! :twisted:
P.S. I was laughing so hard I was in tears again while typing this out.... it was seriously hysterical tonight!
I fear I may have started something I can't finish by sending him that Black XX. :lol:
