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I know a guy who argues over facts

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Zeno Marx

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Do you know anyone like this? Have one of these in your circle?

Fighting about facts, my mother calls it. We do it all the time. Argue over something that's actually one thing or another.
-Pete Campbell

In the Campbell bedroom Trudy has just gotten out of the shower wrapped in a towel. Pete chuckles. She asks what's funny. He says he just remembered in the last conversation he had with his dad they were arguing about whether a certain dude bred Boston Terriers or French Bulldogs. Trudy says she's sorry they were arguing and that neither of them knew it was the last time they would speak. Pete is bemused that they were "fighting about facts," as his mother calls it. Arguing over something that is, in fact, one thing or another. Turns out Pete was wrong; they were French Bulldogs. He says when he woke up he felt fine for a minute, and then he remembered. She tells him to remember the good times. He says, "Right." -IMDB reviewer


I know this guy. This is his modus operandi. To argue with people over things that are not up for belief, but are indeed one way or the other, one thing or the other.

We were talking about something that led to Boise, ID. I said in simple passing: 1) they're suffering from bad drought right now 2) they're a sizeable city in the middle of a desert.

His response was, "I haven't heard they're in a drought." And then a little later, "Boise isn't a desert."

I didn't care about the desert thing, but while we were talking, I pulled up a drought map from the US Farm Report. They show these cool NASA images of the earth once a week. The ones of interest to farmers are the drought map and the root moisture map. Boise is in an area in one of the worst drought situations on the USA map. I try to show him the map, and then he says something about climate change and it not being man-made. That was never part of the conversation. I had no intention of getting political in this. That's a whole other train wreck that I avoid at all costs in public. He wouldn't look at the map. He was dead set on making his own conversation, manipulating words and skirting the facts.

Know anyone like this?
 

Stick

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Yes, if the dynamic I'm thinking of is the same thing, and it has got so bad with this individual I believe it is a contributory factor to the divorce I'm currently going through (the individual concerned is not my wife).  I'm a very tolerant and patient man but I think the damage done to my mental health as a result is going to take a while to repair.
 

Zeno Marx

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Well, you know...I try, and often fail, to remind myself that people like this really are anti-social and want to have conversations with themselves, ie want to control the situation. It's not healthy to engage them. It serves no good purpose.
 

Stick

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Zeno Marx":qeh5dcav said:
It's not healthy to engage them.  It serves no good purpose.
Agreed. Problem was, as they were part of the close family circle, it was hard to not to. On the many occasions that I sensed conflict arising, for the sake of family harmony I would manage this by politely taking my leave, only then to be branded 'rude'.
 

Zeno Marx

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Stick":gce1cc8w said:
Zeno Marx":gce1cc8w said:
It's not healthy to engage them.  It serves no good purpose.
Agreed. Problem was, as they were part of the close family circle, it was hard to not to. On the many occasions that I sensed conflict arising, for the sake of family harmony I would manage this by politely taking my leave, only then to be branded 'rude'.
I know that position. I know it well. I'm sorry you had to deal with that. It's consuming. It's amazing how much energy one person can suck out of you.
 

Stick

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Zeno Marx":0984qvzb said:
Stick":0984qvzb said:
Zeno Marx":0984qvzb said:
It's not healthy to engage them.  It serves no good purpose.
Agreed.  Problem was, as they were part of the close family circle, it was hard to not to.  On the many occasions that I sensed conflict arising, for the sake of family harmony I would manage this by politely taking my leave, only then to be branded 'rude'.  
I know that position.  I know it well.  I'm sorry you had to deal with that.  It's consuming.  It's amazing how much energy one person can suck out of you.
Thanks Zeno. One of the benefits of the separation; I can put it all behind me!
 

RSteve

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We've all heard this one.

"Just because you say it's a fact doesn't make it a fact. I don't care what source you're showing me. You managed to find something, somewhere that agrees with what you say is a fact

I'm sure I can find something that proves your facts are incorrect."
 
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