Sad news today.

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Draagha

Draagha

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Hello brothers and sisters,

Today I found out that my grandfather, who takes care of my grandma who is in the final stages of alzeimer's, has liver cancer. This man is a hero for me, a carpenter his whole life, devout catholic and a caring family man. This is his second bout with cancer and he is into his 80's now, I'm not sure if he'll make it this time. I'm not sure how to handle this as I've never lost a close family member, aside from my grandmother who is no longer with us mentally.

These people helped raise me from birth till about age 13 and I still had regular contact with them after we moved away from them untill my grandmother's condition got too severe for me to talk with her anymore. It was heartbreaking for me because I was the last person she remembered.

This has been a hell of a week for me, flat broke, selling an old hobby collection for this new one and getting almost ripped off at every turn and now this. Not sure what to do brothers and sisters, just needed a place to vent my feelings and thoughts in a comforting environment.
 
My grandmother also has dementia, and is not the woman she used to be (she's actually far more pleasant now, haha, sorry, just a little levity).

I lost my Dad and my Djedo (grandfather in Serbian) both to cancer within 9 days of each other when I was 15 years old. I know those feels.

My thoughts are with you and your family.
 
Thanks Pozz, that must've been very rough at such a young age. My younger brother is taking it a lot harder than I am that's for sure.
 
Draagha":fkp7ozey said:
Thanks Pozz, that must've been very rough at such a young age. My younger brother is taking it a lot harder than I am that's for sure.
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It was. Go spend time with him (if you and he enjoy spending time together). Go learn stuff, and talk about stuff, and let him know you care. Don't be all weird about it, but he'll understand.

There was an interesting difference in the ways my brothers and I reacted and handled the situation. I was the oldest, so I grew up too fast in a way. The middle brother stopped growing up and remained 14 years old for several years. And, the youngest was only 12 and quickly realized it was no ones fault, cancer is indiscriminate, and this isn't some divine retribution for some unknown sin or wrongdoing. There is still lots of stuff he didn't learn from either of them due to his age. I benefited the most in that regard. But, I didn't have the opportunity to spend time with my Djedo, he lived far away and I couldn't drive.
 
PozzSka":2isrdy0f said:
I didn't have the opportunity to spend time with my Djedo, he lived far away and I couldn't drive.  
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That's unfortunately the situation I'm in. My family hasn't exactly been good financially and because of that I only recently received my first car. And that was shortly after I got engaged, my fiance had to move in with me and my brother and dad for school, and then her car gave out. So she has been having to use my car for school as I work from home as a freelance designer(which also is part of the flat broke issue :| )

So, long story short, we only have enough for my dad to go see him and I can't exactly drive from FL to TX with no car and only a permit. I will be keeping in VERY close phone contact with my grandfather though.
 
Keep on keeping on. Have you heard the definition of generic news? "The same bleep happened today as yesterday, but it happened to different people." Well, it's true. Sometimes we get lucky and the new bleep is easier than the old bleep.
 
KevinM":8pkw821m said:
Keep on keeping on. Have you heard the definition of generic news?  "The same bleep happened today as yesterday, but it happened to different people." Well, it's true. Sometimes we get lucky and the new bleep is easier than the old bleep.
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Right on brother. That's basically how I've approached it thus far.
 
If you have any recording devices, have your dad take them along. Write Gramps that you love him and someday want your children to know him. Ask him to talk about your Grandmother and their life. I heard so many great stories that occasionally I'll remember a snippet of. You don't want to lose those. In the future it will be a family treasure.
 
JKenP":2p9r38wp said:
If you have any recording devices, have your dad take them along.  Write Gramps that you love him and someday want your children to know him. Ask him to talk about your Grandmother and their life.  I heard so many great stories that occasionally I'll remember a snippet of.  You don't want to lose those.  In the future it will be a family treasure.
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I suppose by you gents' suggestions I'm approaching this alright because we were going to do that as well. I remember quite a bit of stories and have hundreds of pictures of the family with my grandparents.
 
Condolences. These times in life are never easy and my deepest sympathies are with you. Keep your head up and your steps always forward; you'll come out alright.
 
Thank you Yak and Irene. Condolences are very much appreciated.
 
Our hearts and prayers are with you.  

Be strong for those around you.
 
My thoughts are with you brother. Growing up in an Irish family we where taught that death happens, and it's our jobs to turn it into a celebration of life. At least my mom insisted that was an Irish way, I wouldn't have a clue otherwise. Spend time as you can. I always found comfort in reading and working with my hands in these situations.

Stay positive, others will need you as much as you need them.
 
I feel so deeply for you Brother, losing family comes hard, some of the hardest times most folk ever have to endure, I do know how you're feeling my friend, I've lost all my family now, I have my 2 daughters and my life partner so I cling so tightly to them and the love I hold in my heart for them, may sound stupid but it helps me get through some really tough times just seeing our youngest smile, knowing she needs her Daddy to be there when she needs him is all I need to know to make damn sure I am there for her. Your Brother needs you for sure but you need him too my friend, don't lose sight of that, be there for him when he needs you and let him be there for you when you need him to.

I will hold you close to my thoughts and heart through this tough time, wish I could be there right now so I could give you a big Brotherly hug so you know it will be okay in the end, doesn't seem like it now but it will be, you'll see and in the meantime lean on us as much and as often as you need to, there will always be someone here you can talk with. Take care of yourself and don't try to be an Island. okay.
 
Hard times come again no more.

We all pass through these periods in our lives. I've had my share. They shake one to the core and test your mettle.

Keep positive and strong for your family. And spread your love amongst those who are close to you.

Many days you have lingered around my cabin door;
Oh hard times come again no more.


Cheers,

RR
 
somedumbjerk":el6mud1l said:
I always found comfort in reading and working with my hands in these situations.
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Ah but that's the issue with selling an old hobby collection to fund this one. I've yet to make the money for any briar kits, I've just been offered a dumpster full of bogus offers. :| Ah well, all in good time I suppose. My family is mexican-american on my dad's side and irish on my moms side. So we're the same way, we celebrate the life that has passed, which includes a bit of mourning of course.

Kirk - thank you very much for the words and the best wishes, an internet hug is just as good bro! Thanks, the love from this site can be felt for miles around that's for sure!

Brew - Those verses are very helpful for me, thank you.

Walt - Thank you very much, prayers and faith in the docs are all we got.

Whitepony - Thank you as well for the prayers.
 
Draagha":2m0ep44e said:
Hello brothers and sisters,

Today I found out that my grandfather, who takes care of my grandma who is in the final stages of alzeimer's, has liver cancer. This man is a hero for me, a carpenter his whole life, devout catholic and a caring family man. This is his second bout with cancer and he is into his 80's now, I'm not sure if he'll make it this time. I'm not sure how to handle this as I've never lost a close family member, aside from my grandmother who is no longer with us mentally.

These people helped raise me from birth till about age 13 and I still had regular contact with them after we moved away from them untill my grandmother's condition got too severe for me to talk with her anymore. It was heartbreaking for me because I was the last person she remembered.

This has been a hell of a week for me, flat broke, selling an old hobby collection for this new one and getting almost ripped off at every turn and now this. Not sure what to do brothers and sisters, just needed a place to vent my feelings and thoughts in a comforting environment.
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Sir,

I have struggled with a need to respond to your expression of sorrow without repeating what others have said or sounding hollow. But I do want to express my sympathies and best wishes for your ability to deal with the inevitable mortality of loved ones.

My parents are both long gone (my father when I was eleven) and my beloved grandmother passed just a few months ago. I assure you, a man is never too old to cry for his grandmother.

I come from a long line of working-class, Irish Bostonians. While there were plenty of tears, there was also alot of celebration for that persons life. Stories are shared, folks laugh and cry, and a little beer is spilled. I was not able to be at the funeral but was able to call from Afghanistan to share stories and laugh and cry with family. I will spill some beer when I get home.

Please do not be afraid to be sad. But also celebrate the life of the one you love. It will help you heal.

All the best, brother.

Sean
 
I'm new here, so I feel a little out of place posting, but cancer is the great equalizer, is it not? It doesn't care who you are or what your paycheck looks like, your gender, race, and creed do not matter. From one human being to another who's loved one is fighting that battle; be strong, be true, be honest, for them and to yourself. Have a good cry when you need too and have a good laugh as well. My mother has been fighting colon cancer for the last two years. We have never had a very close relationship, and we still don't, but over the past two years our relationship has become more open, more honest, and more accepting. At the end of the day, may you find peace.
 
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