The Difference in 10 Years

Help Support Brothers of Briar:


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Feb 9, 2008
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Three years after my wife died (2008) I began dating(2011). I had a year long relationship with a woman ten years younger than me. She repeatedly said, "age is just a number." She'd been divorced since 1998 and had a 12-year-old daughter adopted from China. She and her ex had adopted the girl when they were married, so physical custody and visitation was a constant battle. My lady-friend and her ex were living in different states, so the ex had minimal contact with the child. He did pay hefty child support, without fail. My daughters became big sisters to the girl.
Then came the shitstorm.
The little girl said I was like having a "real dad" and when she was with my daughters, said it was the happiest time in her life. Her mother appeared to be getting jealous. Then dropped the hammer. "If we're going to continue this blended relationship, we've got to get married." I said that would not happen. I'd already been married twice and #3 wasn't going to happen. I said our relationship and the relationship that our daughters shared should happily continue, but no marriage.
The relationship ended, abruptly, cold turkey. I learned a few years later that she'd forbidden her daughter from phoning me or my daughters.
My daughters did keep in touch with the girl via Facebook and Instagram. She's now a college graduate working in Chicago.
What I found fascinating. After two years of college in MN, the girl transferred to a university near her father and began what appears to be a tremendous relationship with him, his wife, and his wife's two daughters.
I got a "progress report" yesterday from my older daughter.
Perhaps, foolishly, I dashed off an email to the former lady-friend congratulating her on the marvelous job she did raising her daughter.
Her email must be linked to her cell phone, 'cause I got an almost immediate response. "Thank you, I know I did the best job I could. It's hard to believe ten years have gone by. You must be pretty old..LOL"

Zeno Marx

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Jun 26, 2010
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I appreciate people with a filter. I don't really give a crap from where it originates, either. Think before you speak. Be decent. Not every thought needs to be spewed into the universe, especially the crude and not nice ones.