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Tobacco hating spouse, urban living arrangements…

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bentbulldog

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Bullwinkle":xxciib9c said:
I got the answer..  just move in with the in-laws!
:cheers: :bounce: :cheers:

skaukatt":xxciib9c said:
The issue is that my upstairs neighbor has complained to the landlord about the smell of my pipe smoke, which still lingers in the house - it disturbs his right to quiet enjoyment.  The landlord has asked me to help him out as he does not want to have to enforce a smoke free home policy, thankfully.

So, I am in a state of adjustment in the sense that I have just shelled out $300 for an air purifier, a solution that I only have half confidence in in fixing the issue.  It has not arrived yet so I have no results as to what it can do for me in my situation.  It is on the top 10 list of purifiers and seems to be the best bang for the buck but when it comes to cleaning smoke, it's tough to mitigate that smell.  Of course you can spend $500, $600 and up on a more robust purifier but I am not about to do that nor is it financially a viable option for me.  So I bought what I could afford and that has a pretty decent good review record according to all of my research.  (It's a Whirlpool Whispure 510, BTW, with the addition of scented air freshener attachments from Filter Fast that attach to the pre-filter supposedly.) - my fingers are crossed but there are many opinions/reviews as to the effectiveness or lack thereof, of the unit.

I am hoping that coupled with positioning the fan, my seat and cracking open the door the new unit will clean out enough remaining smoke that the issue can resolve favorably.  Indeed, to own your own home gives you much greater control over what you can and cannot do and hear complaints about it.  I'm trying my best to enjoy my pipe and keep things amenable to all.  We'll see how that goes...
Lou, it's something us fellow NYers have to deal with: the zealous, overly sanitized, NYC public that can tolerate an overabundance of industrial and auto pollution but think that being around a smoker, OUTSIDE will give them cancer from second hand smoke :fpalm:
But we must accommodate...Let me know how your method works out.
I need to schedule a trip to the next pipe club meeting...it's been 7 yrs. Look what I found in the pipe closet

 

RDPipes

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Don't tell me............your the goom-bah in the center? ;)
 

jvillaveces

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I'm a widower now, so it's moot.  Since we were dating, my wife loathed every form of tobacco, but I smoked cigarettes, cigars, and pipes.  She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did.  Many of our friends have a no-smoking-in-their-home policy, so I established a policy of not visiting them.  When we see each other, it's at my place, and they know I will be smoking my pipe (I gave up cigarettes many years ago), so they can make an informed decision whether or not they want to come.  BTW, most do come, and it's been ages since I had to put up with fake coughs and the like. Now I'm pushing 50, so I don't meet as many new people, and nowadays I am even less inclined than I was in my youth to put up with people's hypocrisy about my smoking.  I like it so I smoke.  End of story.
In case I'm coming across as an arrogant prick (an accusation I've heard once or twice before), I doted on my wife.  I happily put up with, enabled, and encouraged, as many of her whims and caprices as I could, and did my best to "spoil" her.  However, I thought our marriage was a two-way street, not an agreement to become her slave or have her be mine.  I respected her and demanded the same respect in return.  For us, it worked.  We were in love for many years, and as close as two people can get.  That being said, I never considered not smoking in my own house.  My kids, who are now teenagers, have tried to regurgitate on me what they are taught in school about the ills of all tobacco, but they haven't been too successful either.
 

RDPipes

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jvillaveces":xzg32kov said:
I'm a widower now, so it's moot.  Since we were daing, my wife loathed every form of tobacco, but I smoked cigarettes, cigars, and pipes.  She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did.  Many of our friends have a no smoking policy, so I established a policy of not visiting them.  When we see each other, it's at my place, and they know I will be smoking my pipe (I gave up cigarettes many years ago), so they can make an informed decision whether or not they want to come.  BTW, most do come, and it's been ages since I had to put up with fake coughs and the like. NOw I'm pushing 50, so I don't meet as many new people, and nowadays I am even less inclined than I was in my youth to put up with people's hypocrisy about my smoking.  I like it so I smoke.  End of story.
Sounds good to me! ;)
 

KevinM

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I would plumb hate living in an environment in which there was no escape from the oversight of half-witted neighbors. Brrrrr. Last time the missus and I were house-hunting I discovered a line on the form filled out by our RE agent -- "Not suited to condo living." Well, it's true. This afternoon I smoked some PA in a cob in the backyard while watching flights of raucous geese head south and a hawk cruise the neighborhood looking for lunch. Those are the kind of neighbors whose company I enjoy. But I digress --

Here's an idea for you -- cold smoking. Quite a while ago I got into the habit of filling pipes in anticipation of smoking them later. From this grew a habit of sipping on the filled pipes while musing on the upcoming day's schedule. I enjoyed this. It doesn't take the place of real smoking to be sure, but it serves as a kind of appetizer, and does offer taste, relaxation and a sample of the full ritual to come. Not bad, really. Better than going cold turkey. You might try it sometime. And if the missus objects to this, you may well suspect she's just trying to get into your head.

Finally -- a few years ago, my daily schedule in the spring was to get out there and reclaim my yard from old man winter. After some healthy work/exercise -- and before my missus would be ready to decide which Early Bird Special we would have that day, I would sit on a bench with pipe and beer in hand. My respite often coincided with the school bus returning with the neighborhood youngsters. Somehow, this quickly morphed into the youngsters bringing me their bikes for repairs, filling tires, adjusting seats and handlebars, adjusting brakes etc. I would perform these services while clenching a cob and finishing my brew. Soon, word of these activities spread over the Neighborhood Young Mothers Alarm Network, and my missus was approached by one of the more officious ladies to see if Mr. M would desist with the pipe and brewski in front of the kiddos, but should continue with the repairs, free child care and provision of snacks. To which I gave my practiced non-commital reply and otherwise just ignored the non-problem. Eventually I simply moved my repair shop to the backyard, which isn't open to nosey neighbors from the road. And, of course, the kids quickly got older:) But people just will not leave well enough alone it seems. Chairman Mao would be proud, I'll bet.

Oh, yes, my missus and I have been married for 42 years.
 

bentbulldog

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Cartaphilus":5sd43pvo said:
Don't tell me............your the goom-bah in the center? ;)
:lol!: :cheers: :lol!: :cheers: :lol!:

I wouldn't mind having that pipe...
 

fsu92john

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jvillaveces":c3fyutnm said:
She wanted no smoking in the house, but since it was my house too, and I was a smoker, that didn't fly.  We agreed that I wouldn't smoke in the bedroom, and I never did....

I thought our marriage was a two-way street, not an agreement to become her slave or have her be mine.  I respected her and demanded the same respect in return.  For us, it worked.  We were in love for many years, and as close as two people can get.  That being said, I never considered not smoking in my own house.  My kids, who are now teenagers, have tried to regurgitate on me what they are taught in school about the ills of all tobacco, but they haven't been too successful either.
This is the way it is for me as well. I was a pipe smoker when my wife met me, so she knew what she was getting into. She tolerates smoking in the house because she realized that it's my house too (it took her a few months, but she did figure it out :D). By the same token, I tolerate her idiosyncracies. It has to be a two-way street.
 

Jevverrett

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I personally looked for women who either did smoke, or who didn't care that I did. And I was never shy with the pipe if I thought she was girlfriend material. I went with the non smoking section option when it came to the pipe. I have a newborn son now, first son is four. I smoke upstairs in my bedroom in the cold months. But the kids live downstairs. Aside from that, the kids rarely have any business in my bedroom. I would strongly advise you look for that patio brother. You need to be comfortable in your own home, right?
 

bentbulldog

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Jevverrett":odwht2ay said:
I personally looked for women who either did smoke, or who didn't care that I did. And I was never shy with the pipe if I thought she was girlfriend material. I went with the non smoking section option when it came to the pipe. I have a newborn son now, first son is four. I smoke upstairs in my bedroom in the cold months. But the kids live downstairs. Aside from that, the kids rarely have any business in my bedroom. I would strongly advise you look for that patio brother. You need to be comfortable in your own home, right?
This is where I messed up. I got married young, and for not all the right reasons. She didn't know I smoked a pipe, and I made an effort not to bring it up. :no:

It was wrong and I'm dealing with it now. I may have to just live with the fact I will never have my fireplace, armchair, and pipe in my own house.
But I love my hobby and will have to make due with what I am given if I want to grow my family.
 

Jevverrett

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bentbulldog":cbggvm22 said:
Jevverrett":cbggvm22 said:
I personally looked for women who either did smoke, or who didn't care that I did. And I was never shy with the pipe if I thought she was girlfriend material. I went with the non smoking section option when it came to the pipe. I have a newborn son now, first son is four. I smoke upstairs in my bedroom in the cold months. But the kids live downstairs. Aside from that, the kids rarely have any business in my bedroom. I would strongly advise you look for that patio brother. You need to be comfortable in your own home, right?
This is where I messed up. I got married young, and for not all the right reasons. She didn't know I smoked a pipe, and I made an effort not to bring it up. :no:

It was wrong and I'm dealing with it now. I may have to just li
ve with the fact I will never have my fireplace, armchair, and pipe in my own house.
But I love my hobby and will have to make due with what I am given if I want to grow my family.
Or maybe get one of those man cave sheds with a little wood stove inside. My grandfather has one, and he's been married like 63 yrs now! Men need space to be men. Or, at least I do.
 
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