Two years without my mum

[Briarbabe]

Valentine's Day marked two years with my mom gone. It's odd. I didn't spend a whole lot of time thinking about her on Sunday, but lordy she's been stomping around the attic for weeks now. I told her if she was going to be on my mind so frequently she needed to settle down up there. I was a wreck the week leading up to the anniversary. Again, my Andy helped me through it. I was doing a lot of reflecting and reading blog posts from around the time that she died. It was painful, but therapeutic. It really was the darkest hour of my life. There was so much going on, all really difficult. It was wonderful to have you gents to talk to through it all. Especially you, Fatman, you were great letting me bend your ear and making me smile. These days things are better for me and my kiddos and I'm grateful.

There were some promises made to my mom on her death bed by members of my family that have not been kept. I could be angry and hurt but I have chosen to see the big picture and that is that sometimes for people to move on they have to let go. Well, apparently that means letting go of me and my kiddos and that's okay. My two boys are young enough to forget and my daughter understands, she's still hurt, but she understands. You get ditched by your 'family' enough times you learn not to take it so hard and you make your own family.

So life goes on without mom, as it should. I am not a spiritual person. I do not believe in an afterlife, I believe my mother is gone. She is remembered by those that love her and that is enough for me.

 

[Ozark Wizard]

Sometimes anniversaries of lost loved ones can be like going through the process all over again. I will not presume to impose my philosophies upon you, but I might throw out there that you mom lives on in all of you she left, in memories, words, actions, even DNA. So, in a sense, you can take some solace that if you really need to see her, all One needs to do is look in a mirror. Really look...........

(Sorry, went to a ceremony for a friend of mine that passed away this last week, and these thoughts are rolling around up in here.)

Best wishes!

 

[Fatman]

The anniversaries suck badly. They get to where they don't suck as much, but they are always poignant. I am glad I was part of the process

Kisses baby!

 

[Stick]

Nice sentiments there BB, sounds like you've got your head round it all and you're moving on. I reckon mum would be proud.

 

[Briarbabe]

Sometimes anniversaries of lost loved ones can be like going through the process all over again. I will not presume to impose my philosophies upon you, but I might throw out there that you mom lives on in all of you she left, in memories, words, actions, even DNA. So, in a sense, you can take some solace that if you really need to see her, all One needs to do is look in a mirror. Really look...........

(Sorry, went to a ceremony for a friend of mine that passed away this last week, and these thoughts are rolling around up in here.)

Best wishes!

You are so right Ozark. My daughter and I both look so much like her. It's uncanny. And they are good genes, well except the predisposition toward colon cancer, red hair, lovely skin, slow aging. Good genes.

 

[Briarbabe]

The anniversaries suck badly. They get to where they don't suck as much, but they are always poignant. I am glad I was part of the process

Kisses baby!

Kisses right back at ya, sir.

 

[Briarbabe]

Nice sentiments there BB, sounds like you've got your head round it all and you're moving on.  I reckon mum would be proud.

Aww, Stick, you're going to make me cry...

 

[juanmedusa]

As a child that was raised by two parents that were each estranged from their respective families to some degree, I can say that the love from my folks who were present was what mattered. John.

 

[Anonymous]

Briarbabe, hang in there. What matters are the good souvenirs you have with your Ma.

 

[DrumsAndBeer]

Really hits home reading your post, BB. May of this year will be 3 years since my mother unexpectedly passed. It's not easy, that's for sure. Some nights I'll have lucid dreams in which she will make a graceful appearance, I'll hear her voice, sense her presence and relive her absence all over again upon waking. There's no doubt that there's an indelible imprint left on our lives, for better or in some cases for worse, by our mother. In my case it was for the better and I miss her dearly. Strangely however, while the physical connection is broken, the bond lives on in my undying love and admiration for her.

Take care and thanks for sharing..

 

[tslots]

Sorry for your pain BB. It sounds like you have a good shoulder to lean on and a family to keep you busy and distracted. I can empathize as it's coming up on 4 months since my mom passed. She had a rough time during her last few months and I find myself needing support on occasion. Sometimes a brief cry or my wife's soothing voice will push aside the sadness and allows me to concentrate on good memories. I'm sure time will help as well.