What’s your weirdest or craziest military experience.

[Blackhorse]

I remember walking into an “office” while moving from one unit to the next and seeing a sign on the “counter” that read...”PLEASE TO NOT FEED BOO BOO. SHE JUST HAD A WHOLE CHICKEN YESTERDAY.” Um...huh? I looked over the counter and there was a 30 foot (claimed) Python (?) snaked under and around several desks & chairs. Just another weird & bizarre experience in lovely, semi-friendly South Vietnam.

 

[RSteve]

When I arrived in-country Vietnam, we were outfitted with helmet liner and steel pot. For a reason never explained to me, my steel pot was a bit too small for my helmet liner. It sat slightly above the liner, with a gap at the top.
Before my tour was extended in Vietnam, I was scheduled to rotate back to the States on July 10, 1969. In late June, I was assigned with another guy to sweep a small field. We were both short timers and agreed that the sweep was bullshit and we'd just lie down in the tall grass for a few hours, then go back to base camp and report that we'd seen nothing.
After a few hours of quietly b.s.ing, I said to the other guy. "Let's eat." He was supposed to bring the rations. A blank stare and "I forgot to bring 'em."
I was pissed, but to be fair, we agreed to play rock, paper, scissors. Loser trudges back to get the rations. I lost, stood up, and felt my head snap back. An AK round had pierced my steel pot and was in the space between my helmet liner and the pot. I shook my head and it rattled. I hit the ground fast. The other guy was shaking uncontrollably and teeth chattering. I almost laughed, but then asked, "What the f**k are you shaking about? I just got shot in my MFing head." He looked at me and said with a trembling voice, "I'm about six inches taller than you." We forgot about eating, stayed low, and after a couple more hours damn near crawled all the way back to camp.

 

[D.L.Ruth]

We were both short timers and agreed that the sweep was bullshit and we'd just lie down in the tall grass for a few hours, then go back to base camp and report that we'd seen nothing.

I guess some things never change lol.

We were in Basrah Iraq, just got into country (this was my second deployment to Iraq). We were sitting around at the inbrief and one of the commanders said, you all got get at a good time, it's been quiet the last couple months. So obviously I had to speak up and say "guess we're about due then". That very night the airfield got lit up with rockets. Coincidence? Maybe, but I was not allowed to speak for the next few days lol.

 

[Mikem]

I wasn't in the Military (due to a bad leg) but worked for the Army on Kwajalein Pacific Missile test range from 1977 to 1982. We had the last two C-54's (civilian version of the McDonald Douglas DC-4) in the Military inventory. I went as a flight engineer/mechanic. We flew to Bikini Atoll with three huge pigs (two sow's and a boar) for the Marshallese who the Army Corps of Engineers had just resettled on the island. They were "supposed" to raise and breed for a food supply. A lot of Military and Civilian dignitaries. We offloaded the pigs and wondered why the Marshallese really didn't show thst much interest in their care or well being. We found out later that we no sooner got wheels in the well and I guess they threw one hell of a luau. Really didn't matter as a couple months later we had to fly back to evacuate the people as the islands around where Bikini island "use" to be was still contaminated from all the nuclear bomb tests.

 

[AlphaWarrior]

When I arrived in-country Vietnam, we were outfitted with helmet liner and steel pot. For a reason never explained to me, my steel pot was a bit too small for my helmet liner. It sat slightly above the liner, with a gap at the top.
Before my tour was extended in Vietnam, I was scheduled to rotate back to the States on July 10, 1969. In late June, I was assigned with another guy to sweep a small field. We were both short timers and agreed that the sweep was bullshit and we'd just lie down in the tall grass for a few hours, then go back to base camp and report that we'd seen nothing.
After a few hours of quietly b.s.ing, I said to the other guy. "Let's eat." He was supposed to bring the rations. A blank stare and "I forgot to bring 'em."
I was pissed, but to be fair, we agreed to play rock, paper, scissors. Loser trudges back to get the rations. I lost, stood up, and felt my head snap back. An AK round had pierced my steel pot and was in the space between my helmet liner and the pot. I shook my head and it rattled. I hit the ground fast. The other guy was shaking uncontrollably and teeth chattering. I almost laughed, but then asked, "What the f**k are you shaking about? I just got shot in my MFing head." He looked at me and said with a trembling voice, "I'm about six inches taller than you." We forgot about eating, stayed low, and after a couple more hours damn near crawled all the way back to camp.

That's nuts!

 

[ftrplt]

I remember walking into an “office” while moving from one unit to the next and seeing a sign on the “counter” that read...”PLEASE TO NOT FEED BOO BOO. SHE JUST HAD A WHOLE CHICKEN YESTERDAY.” Um...huh? I looked over the counter and there was a 30 foot (claimed) Python (?) snaked under and around several desks & chairs. Just another weird & bizarre experience in lovely, semi-friendly South Vietnam.

Had to go through "Jungle School" (jungle survivor school) at Clark AB, The Philippines in Jan 1972 before reporting for duty in Thailand. The school folks had an entire zoo of various species one might encounter during one's jaunt/s thru the jungle!! One such was a humongous boa constrictor/python/one great big long, foot and a half wide frappin' snake named Henry!! The locals would bring Henry out of his container on occasion during school tours for non-military personnel. They would lay him in the grass and feed him two or three live chickens! That dang snake was lazy as hell until feeding time! He nailed those chickens "bam, bam, bam" down the hatch!! Then the kiddies got to watch the round balls move down Henry's gullet! The next day he pooped out a few bones and feathers!! FTRPLT

 

[RSteve]

That's nuts!

There was nothing pertaining to Vietnam that wasn't nuts.

Here's what I thought was a fun story. During basic training one of the draftees in my company was a Ph.D. in S.E. Asian studies. He was about 28, but had used deferments and being physically out of the U.S. to delay his service. He spoke Vietnamese fluently, as well as Thai. He had fought muay thai professionally. He was about my size (then) about 5'7" 150 lbs. We were on the "drill and ceremonies" field, more or less screwing around. We all knew we were likely to be 11B10 infantry and sent to Vietnam right after AIT. Drill and ceremonies was, in our minds, a waste of time.
The NCO leading D and C got pissed at the chit chat going on, told everyone to shut the f***k up, and literally said, "Listen you weak assed cherry MFers. I am sick and tired of your MFing screwing off after I told you to stand at ease.
If any of you pussies think you can whip my ass, step forward.
That was a mistake!
The Ph.D. stepped forward. The NCO turned bright red and came running at him, probably just to scare him.
In a flash, the NCO was on the ground bleeding from his nose and one ear.
In less than an hour the Ph.D. said his good byes. He'd been reclassified 4-F, psychological and was headed home.
We never saw that NCO again.

Until I was long out of service, I didn't know that until you're sworn in after basic training is successfully completed that you're officially in the army and subject to the the Uniform Code of Military Justice. During basic, you're only quasi in the Army.

 

[AlphaWarrior]

Sounds like they should have sent that dude to Recondo school instead of sending him home.

 

[RSteve]

Sounds like they should have sent that dude to Recondo school instead of sending him home.

We all knew that he was waiting for an incident that would get him out either by medical re-classification or honorable discharge.