What's Your Worst Smoker?

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Trout Bum

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Hello, gents, TB here. Just curious: what is the "worst" smoking pipe you have yet to come across, or, is some cases, still have?

I have a basket pipe that just will not stay lit. It is a blasted prince with "Italy" stamped on the bottom. Funny though, it is very light and has one of the most comfortable stems of all my pipes. Once in a while I can get it to cooperate, but it takes a lot of coaxing. It is basically a knock around/yard/fishing pipe. In some ways, this pipe gives me some perspective, and allows me to justify buying quality briars that smoke wonderfully. I just bought an Ashton 3/4 bent billiard that smokes better, already, than any of my other pipes.

At any rate, let's hear some tales of horrible smokers!

(I would really like to see Mr. Leroy Mercer -- the real one -- post here. He's probably got a poor smoker that he cobbled together out of spare parts from the rusty junk pile in his front yard.)
 

N7COF

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Lucky in mine are all good - great smokers, the annoying one is a Pete that the stem whistles when you inhale.
 

the macdonald

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I have a Karl Eric horn that is a beautiful pipe but I can't get a good smoke out of it. I sigh just thinking about it.
 

Doc Manhattan

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My worst smoker is an Owl Club (the Owl Shop's basket line) bent. It has a big old tooth-hole on the bit, the draw is narrow, and it gurgles about a quarter-bowl down and doesn't stop. And given that it was obviously clenched hard, it's still pretty heavy. But it was my uncle's pipe, so I still fire it up in his memory every once in a while.
 

mark

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I had a 3/4 bent brandy ( major brand ) that took forever to break in,,,,finally got a good cake but gurgled no matter what,,,and wouldn't stay lit,,,I'm no stranger to relights, but it was pissin me off,,,gave it away with full disclosure,,,threw in 8 oz. of burley to ease my mind,,,,something wrong with the drill job or angle I think,,,that was what steered me towards straight pipes, canadians ,lovats, straight rhodesians,,,,I'm not smart enough to smoke fancy pipes,,,

I have an Italian pipe that picked up a nasty flavor when smoking,,tried to convince myself it would subside when broken in,,,tasted like shoe polish,,,it didn't go away so I reamed out what little cake had formed, and sanded it down to the wood,,then a little bit more,,,solved the problem,,,maybe it was dipped in stain inside and out,,,,smokes great now,,,, :pipe:
 

LL

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Trout Bum":sod2jif6 said:
I have a basket pipe that just will not stay lit. It is a blasted prince with "Italy" stamped on the bottom. Funny though, it is very light and has one of the most comfortable stems of all my pipes.
Yo, TB -- I love a challenge, and you need a wedding gift. 8)

Send me that pipe and I'll get it sorted out for you as a freebie. (give it my best shot, anyway)
 

LtMac

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My worst smoking pipe is my first pipe. It is a partially carved small 1/8 bent freehand in a style from the late 1970's-early 1980's. The only stamping is "Israel". I have kept it for nostalgic reasons but never try to smoke it anymore. It was given to me by my wife the first Christmas after we were married in 1981.

LtMac
 

Winslow

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A Digby Bullmoose that I bought on E-Bay for $30,the drilling is too small and
it's like sucking on a pinched straw. :x

Winslow :sunny:
 
A

Anonymous

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I had a Dunhill billiard that smoked terrible. Tight draw, hot, etc. I traded to a member of another forum for an Ashton that he didn't like because of some bubbling of the finish. After full disclosure, we traded. The Ashton smoked fine. It was a bulldog a little too large.

I was about to trade it for a KW when some locals offered me alot of money for it. They said it was a sought after shape. So I put her up for trade and got a Ruthenberg billiard.

BTW, the dude said that he opened the draw and it is one of his best smokers, the Dunhill that is.

See I don't know about opening draws and such.

I also bought a Molina for 100 bucks, which was alot for me at the time because I was still trying to make it on my own. Just doesn't smoke right and I can't, in good conscious trade it.

I think it's the one my ex wife burned the hell out of the rim, so now it's ugly too.
 

Trout Bum

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LL":ikj6r8qy said:
Trout Bum":ikj6r8qy said:
I have a basket pipe that just will not stay lit. It is a blasted prince with "Italy" stamped on the bottom. Funny though, it is very light and has one of the most comfortable stems of all my pipes.
Yo, TB -- I love a challenge, and you need a wedding gift. 8)

Send me that pipe and I'll get it sorted out for you as a freebie. (give it my best shot, anyway)
Wow, thanks LL, that would be awesome! I shall take thee up on thy most generous offer!
 

wharfrathoss

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i don't have any bad smokers. life's too short, if they don't meet my standards & can't be fixed, they're firewood.
 

john-in-kc

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It was one of my early pipes back in the 70s. I thought it looked neat. That I was buying it from the college bookstore should have been my first clue.

It got trashcanned real fast.
 

Wayne_Teipen

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I only have one. It's a Peterson Donegal Rocky #999. It's the most disappointing since I had such high hopes for it and I love the shape. I'm still trying to find a tobacco that it smokes well but I have to say I reach for it less and less all the time.
 

LtMac

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8th April 2009, 23:32

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I only have one. It's a Peterson Donegal Rocky #999. It's the most disappointing since I had such high hopes for it and I love the shape. I'm still trying to find a tobacco that it smokes well but I have to say I reach for it less and less all the time.


That just goes to show how one pipe can vary from another. I have the same exact model that smokes English blends wonderfully.

LtMac
 

SmokeyTweed

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My first ever pipe a BC billiard, pretty plain in grain and shape. It did smoke okay but i trashed this pipe in my ignorance with not letting cake to build and letting the bowl get extremely warm and puffing on it like someone was gonna take it away from me! I also smoked up to four consecutive bowls a night some nights with low grade tobacco in it and burned it out.

I keep it for nostalgia and as a reminder to myself what a little carelessness can do. In my defence though i think i picked it up for 17 loonies :p
 

Dock

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I honestly don't own ANY poor smoking pipes! I have plenty of cheapies but they all smoke well. If I buy any pipe that doesn't smoke well it's quickly sold or traded away...

My first pipe was probably my worst smoker. It was a Dr.Grabow silver duke bent billiard. How folks can smoke these over laqured and plastic stemed beasts everyday is beyond me :x
 

Wet Dottle

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Humm. Worst smoker… I have to say that the meerschaum pipes are it. Not that they are bad pipes, it’s just that I don’t like how meerschaum smokes. But they are pretty and are kept for display purposes.

I have a few briars that are underperformers. The worse is a Julius Vesz, which is the only genuine tobacco destroyer that I have. The wettest is an Eltang, but I like its shape and finish, therefore it stays in the rotation (it’s BJ Long’s best friend). There are a few others that are out of favor, not because they smoke poorly, but because they are bent and don’t pass a pipe cleaner easily.

I had several bad pipes in the past, but they were all “lost.”
 

Joseph76

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I have a few cobs that I don't enjoy smoking... a few times I smoked to far to the bottom and tasted burnt pine... another time I decided to not use the paper filter and sucked in a ton of ash... the stems are just horrible.

I have a smaller Brigham apple that is heavily lacquered and gets really hot unless you sip very slow.

I've really come to love natural briar pipes, no stain, no lacquer, no wax... I also really enjoy smoking my meers.
 

raevans

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I had a Ser Jac Maxima Hawkbill at one time that was horrible. I picked it up as an estate online. It look great, but the previous owner had drilled it out to increase the air flow. They drilled way to much and as a result, I could only smoke about half of the bowl. After half of the bowl was smoked I could not get the pipe to stay lit and every attempt to draw a puff led to a new adventure in ash and half smoked tobacco in my mouth. It was so bad that I ended up throwing the pipe away. I just didn't feel right about trying and trade or sell the thing.
 
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