Anti's

[whitepony1986]

today i got a long lecture from someone that cma einto my hoem on why smoking a pipe s the worst form. In my own home mind you. Didn't matter that i explained to them i knew the risks and i accept them. Some people aggrivate me more then anyone....worst part was it was one of my fiances family. What they first said what is that smell it smells really good liek cherries...i was smoking mcclenlland 3 cherry. Once they found out it was pipe lunt, i felt like i was about a inch tall, and i am a proud pipe smoker. Sorry for the rant.

 

[RDPipes]

I would have told to leave my house immediately and if they couldn't respect my wishes in my own home I would have advised them not to come back. Plain and simple, Fiance or no Fiance. And if she didn't like it I'd tell her to go also. Ya can't live with someone like that. Further more, she not standing up for you to her parents was just wrong.
Hey, Don't be sorry for anything, you got a right to rant.

 

[Kyle Weiss]

The fact you even debated the issue with justifications is sad enough.

Heard a saying recently:  "You can't argue with a pig."  (therefore, why bother?)

Anyone that doesn't like the way another lives in his home, and brings it up while in said home, ought to have a swift kick in the ass right out the door.  I don't care if they're family or not.   Boorish nature ain't cool.   You don't tell a man how to live his life.   Ever.   Period.   The end.

Not criticizing you, Pony, I feel bad for ya, being put in that position.   Still, taking the guy aside, and reminding him whose house he is in, and if he has a concern such as that to take it up with you like a gentleman and not a braying ass, schoolmarm, or overzealous nanny.  

You're not five.  You should answer to no one, perhaps maybe the law or God, if you fancy either.

8)

 

[bosun1]

I have dogs.
"Sic 'em"
Adios
Next thing you know he'll be asking you for a loan too..

 

[whitepony1986]

oh don't get me wrong my fiance wasn't sitting there allowing her brother to belittle me. she told him to just let it alone several times. What sad is i normally get along with her brother well. I'm glad she finds the aroma pleasent. this guy just is a hypocrite as he smokes cigarettes.

 

[Kyle Weiss]

...sounds like a bit of jealousy/guilt on his part... :lol:

I don't think I've ever had a cig smoker try to denounce pipe smoking to me.

 

[whitepony1986]

yeah a bit redundant honestly

 

[Richard Burley]

...sounds like a bit of jealousy/guilt on his part...  :lol:  

I don't think I've ever had a cig smoker try to denounce pipe smoking to me.  

Nor have I, not "denounce"--but there is something about pipe smoking that seems to mildly annoy dedicated cigarette smokers. I don't know if it's the ritual of it or the projection of what appears to be a contemplative image or that the smoke smells better than a cig or what, but there is something that, at best, amuses them or makes them think you're just putting on airs. It's often "Hey, Sherlock!" time, just before the conversation darkens and Bad Rick takes over my comportment.

But I have no idea what was on this particular guy's mind. Sounds like a wannabe prig or something. The fact that he smokes cigarettes makes it all ludicrous, and I think I would have laughed my ass off if I were there.

 

[MisterE]

Dude, think about it. That person is your future inlaw. :fpalm:

 

[Fr_Tom]

I am one of those hypocrites who smokes his pipe in the house but makes cigarette smokers go on the patio. I will go out there and have a smoke with them to be sociable, but I have just never liked the smell of cigarettes. I do figure it is my house, so I get to make the rules.

 

[Growley]

I think I'd try to take a more generous approach to responding to him. Sure, "my house, my rules", and sure he probably wasn't being respectful. But you've got to remember, that not everyone was brought up to know how to be tactful. Not everyone knows how or when to keep opinions to themselves.

Sometimes people just don't know better until someone is able to show them differently. For example, before marrying my wife, I thought good conversation was everyone talking...a LOT! In my family, everyone just spewed out information in interrupting overlapping conversations, without a single thought as to what the other person was actually thinking. It was showing up and throwing up...no questions ever asked. My wife very kindly showed me that one day by simply saying, "you didn't even ask them one question...all you did was talk." Since then, I've been much more aware of how I was raised and how to make better conversation.

I try not to take these types of things personally. I try to look at it as an area for growth in their lives, and an opportunity to show them grace for their being thoughtless or ill trained.  

There is some chance that he really cares about you. He's possibly uncomfortable with his own smoking risk and just doesn't know the best way to deal with it. There's also a chance he was just being a jerk. But if you're going to have to live with him to some extent, you might as well find a way to rationally and unapologetically explain your position. He'll either accept it, or he won't.

Just my two cents...

 

[Fr_Tom]

I try to look at it as an area for growth in their lives, and an opportunity to show them grace

You are clergy too?

 

[monbla256]

I think I'd try to take a more generous approach to responding to him. Sure, "my house, my rules", and sure he probably wasn't being respectful. But you've got to remember, that not everyone was brought up to know how to be tactful. Not everyone knows how or when to keep opinions to themselves.

Sometimes people just don't know better until someone is able to show them differently. For example, before marrying my wife, I thought good conversation was everyone talking...a LOT! In my family, everyone just spewed out information in interrupting overlapping conversations, without a single thought as to what the other person was actually thinking. It was showing up and throwing up...no questions ever asked. My wife very kindly showed me that one day by simply saying, "you didn't even ask them one question...all you did was talk." Since then, I've been much more aware of how I was raised and how to make better conversation.

I try not to take these types of things personally. I try to look at it as an area for growth in their lives, and an opportunity to show them grace for their being thoughtless or ill trained.  

There is some chance that he really cares about you. He's possibly uncomfortable with his own smoking risk and just doesn't know the best way to deal with it. There's also a chance he was just being a jerk. But if you're going to have to live with him to some extent, you might as well find a way to rationally and unapologetically explain your position. He'll either accept it, or he won't.

Just my two cents...

Though I don't think what or how it was said, given the circumstances is what I would agree with, but I have to AGREE with our resident VOICE OF REASON, Mr. Growley on this one. Your not in the majority in our "my way or the hiway" world we live in now, I have to agree with your attitude of compromise on this for sure ! ( don't go into politics, compromise and accomplishing things are mutually un-obtainable things ! :twisted: )

 

[Growley]

I try to look at it as an area for growth in their lives, and an opportunity to show them grace

You are clergy too?

Not clergy, but I do think the Bible has some great teaching on how to treat people with love, kindness and respect...even if they do get under your skin

 

[Growley]

...and let me quickly add, that my track record of responding in a sensible adult-like manner is not 100% :no: But, the older I get, the better I get at responding well to bad situations.

 

[jefe1037]

But you've got to remember, that not everyone was brought up to know how to be tactful.

For all of us following this thread, I know of a handful of us brothers (and sisters!) who have young children who we are trying to help guide into this world. To take Growley's statement one step further, many were never even taught how to act in public. Please and Thank You, Hello, Good Morning Good Evening, Good Night, Excuse Me, After you, Yes Sir Yes Ma'am, No Sir No Ma'am.... These are some good ones to teach the little ones.

I'll keep going for the sake of things.

Close your mouth when you chew (working at a restaurant, you'd be curious to know how many Amex Black card holders don't know this one)

Get off your smartphone, its not that important. If you a doctor, I understand you need it on you, but it can be in your pocket, and you can check it when you excuse yourself to do so, cleverly paired with a trip to the facilities.

Fellas, Take your hat off indoors, especially when eating. We don't care what your hair (or lack thereof) looks like

Take off your sunglasses when talking to people.

Big one here: Talk to people, rather than burying your face in an electronic device. Conversation is a dying art, and miscommunication causes problems which could be easily avoided. Use some of those words and phrases from above when speaking to others. Want to give this a try? Next time you are on a bus, at the store, etc, there will be an older man or woman who is by himself or herself. Say "Hello, how are you?" 5 out of 6 times they will talk your ear off and you may have just brightened their day. Listen to them too when they are talking, because you might just get some good knowledge that took them a lifetime to learn.


Lets eat Grandma.
Lets eat, Grandma.
Punctuation Saves Lives.


These are some things I am going to teach my little ones. I have nieces and nephews that need to know this stuff too. These aren't the only lessons they will learn. And I firmly believe that "it takes a village." I can't wait til the first time some kid honks his horn to have my daughter come out on a date rather than come ring my doorbell and introduce himself; that will be a lesson in life he won't ever forget. I love being a dad.

Anyone else have some good lessons so that we can help make the world a better place?

 

[Kyle Weiss]

Anyone who has chatted with me or reads my opines here on BoB knows I have no love for modern cigarettes, their addicts or the makers of the death sticks.   Being a hypocrite is actually me, because I already know without the ciggie-piggies, we have no pipe 'bacca to smoke.   That said, do I hate tobacco?  Of course not.  I also think Ford Pintos were a terrible, disastrous design and still love cars.  

Tobacco is about respect.  Of the plant, the leaf, the care that went into it, to the love of the cure, the thought of the blending, the roll of the cigar, or even the chunk of chaw that goes in the cheek.  From seed to ash, all steps along the way should be about what tobacco is, not about selfish notions of "I need."   Tobacco is "I want."   And that's okay.   Moderation is only secondary to this idea of respect .  Modern cigarette manufacturers don't respect their leaf, the turn it into engineered chemical addiction.  The smokers of cigarettes are slaves that have a choice of shackles, which is fine but... to criticize a pipe or cigar smoker?    :scratch:  

I don't smoke in my apartment for cleanliness reasons, plus it's just too damn small, I have animals, etc.   Plus, being outside is huge for me.  I hate being cooped up indoors for any length of time.   Still, cigarettes are not welcome.   I don't like the vibe, the intent, the "have to" urgency...

...neighbor across the way, during winter, goes outside to smoke a cig...he jumps up and down, is obviously cold, puffing on that stick so hard I think it's going to catch fire.   He knows I'm out all the time on my porch for a smoke, rain or shine, cold or hot.  He asked me once,  "Dude, how do you DO that, smoke that pipe out here for, like, two hours?"

"Hardly notice it, bro, I'm in heaven right now."  as I grin.   It was the truth.   Yes, I'm cold, but am I uncomfortable?  Not in the slightest.   I look forward to it.   Sunburns on my arms in the summer, stiff fingers in the winter.   A cigarette smoker only knows his uncomfortable 10 minutes of instant dissatisfaction from a product that promises the opposite--he has no clue what pleasure of tobacco is most of the time, and to multiply that 10 minutes by six, or even twelve...I must seem like a crazy-man.  

It's too bad cigarettes are what they are, especially today, and pipes and cigars have gotten caught up by the whirlwind of people attacking it all as a whole.   It's too bad pipes rely so solidly on the cigarette industry to keep their bowls filled.  

At this point, if the cigarettes go away, the pipes and cigars will be but a blink behind them.

Ironic, ain't it?  

I still keep my distance whenever possible from cigarette users; I make it clear we're not "one of a kind."   I'm not one of those pipe guys that avoid cigar smokers, they're fine.   They "get it" (sometimes, anyway).    For the guys that smoke both cigs and pipes?  It's like going to church in the morning and the whorehouse in the evening.   I can respect that, I suppose.   :lol:

8)

 

[bosun1]

...and let me quickly add, that my track record of responding in a sensible adult-like manner is not 100% :no: But, the older I get, the better I get at responding well to bad situations.

Or maybe you're just slowing up like me (g).
I have noticed sometimes my mouth has taken offense and spoken something before my brain could take charge!

 

[RDPipes]

I don't care if your in my house or God's house. You don't spout off to either one of us unless you willing to suffer the consequences.

 

[whitepony1986]

im glad to see so many of the brother share my opinions....tho i am both a cigarette and pipe smoker but am cutting back steadily away from the cancer sticks.