Been watching this, not really knowing how to respond as the same thing happened to me...twice. Both times completely expected due to a shift in the President's position and in my field that always mean that one department would be scoured and then rebuilt...being 'the design' of how things were done. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I know we're men...hunters...hunt big meat then kill and all. It's still in our genes. It's where was came from and it's what we are. And we're not supposed to be all soft, needing Kleenex and bandaids and the like. If we get stomped by the mammoth, which is part of what we all understand can happen while hunting...then we take it and smile...if we still have teeth. But...while we are still tough hunters that don't 'feel' we have also evolved. And we need support. Me? I had night visions and day dreams of the feeling of my tires going over 'them' (thump..thumpthump...crunch!) for several years, and while entertaining it brought little relief. And while there is still one woman I would gladly put a spear in..not wanting her to pass too quickly, so I could enjoy both her pain and have others watch me dance around her writhing, twisted...well, you get the idea. Remember that the desire for revenge is normal, don't be alarmed by visions of fairly graphic violence...they will pass.
Good things: You didn't leave and kiddie porn on your work computer (I hope). You have family that loves you (I hope...as they are always your greatest asset, cause when you get right down to it...no one else gives a shit). My biggest concern on your behalf is that you continue some kind of medical insurance...and of course, always use sunscreen! You'll get no advice from me re job search cause I'm lousy at it. If you're old enough and have been carefull enough and have a spouse that gets 6 figures and full family benefits, consider retirement and the rediscovery of that thing that you always wanted to do when you were 20 but got diverted by life and having to make a living. That's what I did. Lord...I'm happy now for the first time in 15 years. Love getting up every single day and look forward to what I'm going to do tomorrow as I go to bed every night. It wasn't easy, but I made it.
So (and here I get pithy) hang in there, enjoy the visions of revenge, continue the insurance, figure out what you REALLY should have been doing to make you whole and happy...and do it! You won't find a better bunch of cheerleaders than all of us to cheer you on! Cause, you know, that's what we do. We're brothers.
