Josjor":83q3urco said:
Don't know why, but this reminds me of the Mark Twain quote: "I ran away from home when I was 15 because my parents were such fools. When I returned home at age 21 I was surprised at how much they had learned."
My lineage is an unfortunate family history of drugs, alcohol and physical abuse, mental disturbance, violent suicides, and countless instances of bad choices large and small. What I did was have enough sense to guide myself, do the best I could under the circumstances and with further issues perhaps left undisclosed in public. Simply put, I never gave into any of it, addictions, self-destruction, crime or other negativity. I somehow, by my own constitution, held onto the good that happened in amongst these situations, became my own role model, and still have a lot of work to do. When my parents and I talk about these things, it's a work in progress, and we're constantly picking up the pieces. Much like a shattered vase, you think you get that last piece of glass just when your bare foot finds another... you just deal with it. I wish it were a simple case of adolescent arrogance against parents that did the best they could...even though, my parents did the best they could, that "best" probably wasn't the same as others. Thankfully, my father tried to do what he could based on his even-keeled sanity, more so in later years when I was almost an adult (he had figured more out by then, as I had), and continues to do so today, which is why I'm so close to him. We happen to be pretty good at not only learning from our own mistakes, but each others', and the rest of the family. So Twain's representation (I'm a big Twain fan) is accurate, to a degree.
Josjor":83q3urco said:
My Dad passed away when I was 12 and for the rest of my teenage years I didn't have a good male role model. After quite a few years I finally turned out OK (I think :lol: ) but the importance of a father figure can never be overestimated, IMHO.
That's a shame. I'm sorry to hear that--as I mention above, fathers have a huge impact on the guidance and importance sons have on the outlook and confidence of the future, let alone skills and the friendship necessary. Incidentally, I had a father, and he wasn't there for me through those impressionable young years...I almost envy those that do have any bit of that, and it makes me glad when I see a good dad trying.
If you feel you turned out okay, then it's probably quite true.
I know it is with me. 8)
