Favorite Comedy Lines From Christmas Flicks

[Vito]

He's talking about his dog, "Snot", a Rottweiler with a sinus condition:

• "He's cute, ain't he? Only problem is, he's got a little bit of Mississippi leg hound in him. If the mood catches him right, he'll grab your leg, and just go to town. You don't want him around if you're wearin' short pants, if you know what I mean.
  A word of warnin' though: If he does lay into you, it's best to just let him finish."
  -- Cousin Eddie, National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

Randy Quaid is the best part of the movie. :mrgreen:

Post your own favorites.

 

[Doc Manhattan]

Hard to pick just one from A Christmas Story.

"Fra-gee-lay. That must be Italian."

 

[Carlos]

From the 1947 version, of course.

Judge Henry X. Harper ( Gene Lockhart ):
"Where do you live?"
Kris Kringle ( Edmund Gwenn ):
"That's what this hearing will decide."


:santa:

 

[Puff Daddy]

"....... Only I didn't say fudge" :shock:

 

[jhuggett]

Doc already said my all time favorite quote but the scene at the end in the Chinese restaurant always cracks me up too.

"Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."
"No, no, not 'ra ra ra ra', 'la la la la'! Try again."
"Deck the harrs with boughs of horry, fa ra ra ra ra, ra ra ra ra."
"No, no! Sing something else."
"Jingre bers, jingre bers, jingre arr the way. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one-horse open sreigh!"

 

[hobie1dog]

Standing at the curb, holding the sewage hose and hollars, " Shitters Full "

 

[talrmn35]

Where you gonna put a tree that big?

Bend over and I'll show you.

 

[MartinH]

I know it's late, but...

From Bad Santa (seriously sick movie)

You ain't gonna shit right for a week!