Dear Santa,
Looks like you've been hittin the sauce pretty hard again this year, guess 12 steps aren't enough for someone who's been living in a commune with a bunch of midgets, you freak! (that reminds me, please say hello to the Mrs for me :twisted: ) You really should launder that moth eaten old suit of yours before you head south, you smell like cookies, bourbon and essence of reindeer :rendeer: [ps, you know Lat is looking for the sheep you pilfered to dress up that old red Salvation Army blanket, I don't think this is going to turn out well] My kids are in their happy, innocent holiday mood, so stay the hell away from them! Don't make me call the D.A. again, you old lech. And please, get some hair die, you over did it again with the bleach on the eyebrows, you look like a freakin albino on crack. Now send me some Christmas tobacco and maybe I'll forget the whole thing and throw your address in the garbage, I really hate writing these letters every year. That judge picked a hell of a thing for a guy to have to do to fulfill his community service punishment [I swear she looked 18].
Signed,
P Diddy