From The Journal of Modern Diseases, Volume XXVII,
Chapter 26, p. 92.3, Row 12, Seat 35:
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..so, I'm sure you can imagine my horror when "...ah woke up dis mo'nin' peeple, an' ah had Steemplin Voam on mah mind...". (Key of E)
Yes, ladies & gentlemen, it's the tragedy and heartbreak of Steemplin Voam Syndrome. Try some today!!
Chapter 26, p. 92.3, Row 12, Seat 35:
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- Steemplin Voam Syndrome
<table><tr><td>Symptoms: Overt tendency to make noises like "Steemplin Voam", occasionally accompanied by a compulsion to write blues songs. In advanced cases, patients manifest GAD (Guitar Acquisition Disorder).
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Affected population: Otherwise "normal" mutants who have a previous, current, or subsequent history of making noises like "Kaktid Pweedge", or possibly "Poonty Gazoont"
</td></tr><tr><td>Treatment: No cure is known, although patients frequently report that more sex provides temporary symptomatic relief.
The popular myth that buying yet another guitar cures the disease has been clinically proven to cause stupidity. You might as well just start shootin' methamphetamine straight into your eyeballs; it's safer.
Some patients experience placebo-effect relief by buying fountain pens or tobacco pipes instead of guitars. The fools.
The most effective treatment involves renunciation of all worldly goods and becoming a Tibetan monk. Also, a trip to Mars might work. (Don't try to have kids after that. It's the cosmic rays, boyz!)
Prognosis: With proper treatment, some patients can learn to pone the reeverzack, or even dance the hootchie-coo. However, in most patients who show persistent symptoms, Steemplin Voam Syndrome usually proves fatal within the first 150 years after symptoms first appear.
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..so, I'm sure you can imagine my horror when "...ah woke up dis mo'nin' peeple, an' ah had Steemplin Voam on mah mind...". (Key of E)
Yes, ladies & gentlemen, it's the tragedy and heartbreak of Steemplin Voam Syndrome. Try some today!!