Steemplin Voam Syndrome

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Vito

Vito

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From The Journal of Modern Diseases, Volume XXVII,
Chapter 26, p. 92.3, Row 12, Seat 35:
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  • Steemplin Voam Syndrome

    <table><tr><td>Symptoms: Overt tendency to make noises like "Steemplin Voam", occasionally accompanied by a compulsion to write blues songs. In advanced cases, patients manifest GAD (Guitar Acquisition Disorder).

    <table><tr><td>
    epipho10.png
    </td></tr><tr><td><div align="center">Got one o' these? You might have Steemplin Voam!​
    </td></tr></table></div>
    Affected population: Otherwise "normal" mutants who have a previous, current, or subsequent history of making noises like "Kaktid Pweedge", or possibly "Poonty Gazoont"

    </td></tr><tr><td>Treatment: No cure is known, although patients frequently report that more sex provides temporary symptomatic relief.
    The popular myth that buying yet another guitar cures the disease has been clinically proven to cause stupidity. You might as well just start shootin' methamphetamine straight into your eyeballs; it's safer.
    Some patients experience placebo-effect relief by buying fountain pens or tobacco pipes instead of guitars. The fools.
    The most effective treatment involves renunciation of all worldly goods and becoming a Tibetan monk. Also, a trip to Mars might work. (Don't try to have kids after that. It's the cosmic rays, boyz!)

    Prognosis: With proper treatment, some patients can learn to pone the reeverzack, or even dance the hootchie-coo. However, in most patients who show persistent symptoms, Steemplin Voam Syndrome usually proves fatal within the first 150 years after symptoms first appear.
    </td></tr></table>
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..so, I'm sure you can imagine my horror when "...ah woke up dis mo'nin' peeple, an' ah had Steemplin Voam on mah mind...". (Key of E)

Yes, ladies & gentlemen, it's the tragedy and heartbreak of Steemplin Voam Syndrome. Try some today!!

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Sloth":1dt06lx9 said:
Oh. My. God.
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Ah. Evidently you understand my cause for concern, Brothah Sloth.

Still, one must buck up and soldier on in the face of adversity. Out here in the hills above the San Gabriel Valley ("Not God's Country<img class="emojione" alt="™️" title=":tm:" title=":tm:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/emojione/assets/png/2122.png?v=2.2.7"/>"), we simply light up a bowl of Dr. Vito's Extra Twisted Mind Blend No. XYZ, trust in the wisdom of the smoke, and boogaloo down Broadway.  :mrgreen:

'Tis the season...

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Carlos":4spdop8a said:
You're gonna make me get those guitars out of the closet.  
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Always glad to help, Carlos.  ;)

Too bad we're separated by so much distance. It'd be cool to jam!  8)  

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I am humbled by far superior nonsense. Is there some way I may subscribe to your newsletter?
 
Jevverrett":mttqrhtb said:
I am humbled by far superior nonsense. Is there some way I may subscribe to your newsletter?
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You just did, bro'. :mrgreen:


Brewdude":mttqrhtb said:
Hey Veet, is that Boont you're speakin? :scratch:

Always good to see you post here bro. Howz the back these days?
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Howdy, RR. Actually, it’s an ancient dialect of Haingañese (the language of those who hang out, apparently). I’ve been perfecting my Haingañistic skills ever since my college daze, where much smoking of pipeweed (of a different color) occurred, if you catchez mon drifte.

The ol' spine is more quainxt than usual, onna counta having to gimp around after foot surgery. But we're on the mend here in VitoSpace, footwise, and otherwise fit as a Finktle with a Bazoont on Top (depicted below, for your dining and dancing pleasure).

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Finktle with a Bazoont on Top
(Long may it wave!)​
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