I found a one way ticket to this general area with Alligient for $165. You can hide out here at the compound, and after you've rested a little, we could hunt down our enfeebled comrade. Spend Christmas here; if you can survive Granny, we can make a few knives, introduce you to Tom, eat a whole lot more than we should. Drink a little--try to improve our chances at developing cirrhosis and lung disease, work on some cars. Might have to bring you along to work... I'll make sure my loyal wife and evil granny work OT, so we can spend it on riotous living. It sounds good. Best of all, there's a really good seat by the fire.
One of these days.